Birth story - Laura and baby Arabella

I used the positive birth company hypnobirthing course and book, booked doulas and read only positive birth stories throughout my entire pregnancy.

I had morning sickness and nausea throughout the first trimester so I stopped exercising. From 12 weeks I got back into my exercise and did prenatal yoga and Pilates, pregnancy weights workouts, swimming, walking and practiced up breathing and down breathing daily.

I decided to have a homebirth from about 12 weeks and went totally inwards, focusing on myself and my baby and what I knew was best for us, as I didn’t want to have to keep explaining my decisions to others who I felt were less informed about labour and birth. I chose not to disclose my due date to anyone except my dad, sister, and two friends (yet I still had friends who knew I was due in April messaging me ‘any sign of baby yet’ from March - infuriating!!).

From 36 weeks I started ‘measuring big’ and was repeatedly offered growth scans which I declined, as I knew my body would only grow a baby it could birth and I didn’t want to face difficult conversations and pressure to be induced or have a c section.

I had tons of labour signs at 38 weeks and 39+1 which then stopped after a day or two, at 40+6 I had my bloody show around 8pm, then was awake every hour that night. The next morning I felt strangely calm and just different, was having mild twinges throughout the day which I just ignored and didn’t mention anything to my partner, Christian. By the evening I was having mild surges but didn’t pay them any attention, said I didn’t want the tv on and wanted to play uno (our holiday card game!) and was breathing through irregular surges.

By around 9pm the surges were every 10 mins or so and finally I said to Christian I’m in labour I think, and I’m going to bed as it could be days. As I got ready for bed they intensified and I really started to focus on my breathing. Found I couldn’t lie down as I felt pain, whereas by staying in UFO it was just an intense feeling and no pain (I actually wouldn’t say I felt any pain whatsoever during the dilation stage!). I remember feeling surprised that my legs were shaking after each surge and I wasn’t as calm as I thought I’d have been, given things were only just starting. My doulas suggested I take a hot shower to relax, and by this point my surges were every 5 mins.

In the shower, Christian would wait until each surge finished and then start fake laughing really loudly - it was so funny to me that it made me start laughing too and it would flood me with oxytocin, bringing on the next surge which is exactly what I wanted!

By 11pm I was using the Freya app for my breathing and it instantly said I was in established labour, surges were 1-4 mins apart lasting an average of 50 seconds. I was in disbelief and also knew it could still be days, so decided to not focus on the timings anymore and just go with it. I mostly stayed on my hands and knees in my bedroom, and was using the wave comb and tens machine which were AMAZING.

One of my doulas came at 2am, and I sent Christian off to nap for an hour beforehand as I felt I could cope alone and wanted him to get a bit of rest. Between surges I managed to get downstairs and open the front door and then spent a few hours on my bouncy ball leaning on the wall. What felt like a short while later I was being passed the phone to speak to a midwife, I had back to back surges whilst speaking to her so they sent two midwives straight away.

The midwives were incredible, I didn’t even realise they had arrived for ages as they just left me to it and were happy sitting downstairs and leaving me with my doula and Christian. Having a doula was incredible as it allowed her to alternate with Christian, so one of them was always with me whilst the other went to get me drinks/fill the birthing pool/move the car for the midwives etc. The midwife soon began monitoring baby’s heartbeat and I barely even noticed her doing this. Amazingly my baby’s heartbeat was so relaxed the entire labour apart from right towards the end! And due to the up breathing my heartbeat was at 94bpm which is less than when I exercise!

After a few more hours my midwife saw a used maternity pad I had left out and said she thought it was possible my hind waters had gone and asked me if I’d like to be checked. I used BRAIN and decided that I would have a quick examination to see as it had been hours since I’d taken the pad out. I didn’t plan on having any cervical examinations as I didn’t like the idea of them, as well as knowing that if the number of cms dilated was less than I hoped it would throw me mentally.

It wasn’t very comfortable having to lie down to be checked but I’m glad I did, they confirmed my waters were still intact which I was really happy about (as I didn’t want to be ‘on the clock’), and curiosity got the better of me and I asked to know how dilated I was - I was thrilled to hear I was at 7cm! By this point I’d only been using the wave comb, tens machine and up breathing and honestly I didn’t find the surges painful, just quite intense at the peak of the wave. The midwife offered a sweep whilst she was checking me and I decided yes let’s do it, given I was already doing so well I decided it was right for me and baby.

I then got into the birthing pool which felt AMAZING and took the edge of the intensity of the surges, it felt like a break! Many more hours went by of the same routine of breathing through surges in the pool. At one point I became fixated on trying to wee in the pool, and was making everyone laugh by making ‘sssss’ noises on my exhale. My surges slowed down at one point and I was asking the midwives what to do to speed them up again, as I didn’t want to delay things knowing it could still be days.

I chose to get out of the pool and sit on the loo to get things going - this was a huge mental challenge as I was effectively choosing to bring discomfort to myself - but it worked! I had a bowel movement on the loo which everyone got very excited about, and I then asked for another check. By this point lying down to be checked did cause me to feel pain so I was desperate to get upright again - I was confirmed to be at 9.5cm with a bit of a cervical lip still there. I then lost control of my bowels for a while and got back into the pool to start pushing. Pushing was a whole new experience, not painful but totally involuntary and intense! I could hear myself making weird animal noises that I had no control over, and was enjoying the pushing and getting really excited to meet my baby.

My doula had said to me during my pregnancy when it came to pushing, to try to avoid active pushing until I physically couldn’t anymore, so I really embraced the down breathing and the gentle approach. I used gas and air for the pushing and my waters went in the pool. They couldn’t be sure they were clear so I had to get out and they fully drained and refilled the pool which I found really hard to push on dry land. I also had to go awhile with no pain relief as the gas and air ran out, the other canister got stuck (?!) so I had to wait around 30 mins whilst another midwife brought one to my house from the hospital.

After 2 hours of pushing I kept saying she isn’t moving down, I was putting my fingers inside and couldn’t feel anything. As I started to get a bit worried my baby’s heart rate increased for very first time since I’d gone into labour (by this point I’d been in labour for 19 hours). My midwife suggested we wait another 30 minutes and then consider transferring in, however as my muscles were getting tired and I’d not eaten anything since dinner time I was starting to feel real pain and I wanted to transfer in. They called an ambulance and I had a 4 minute journey in, lying down on the bed was painful as I had to be strapped in and my body was involuntarily pushing.

Once in the hospital I was taken to a tiny crowded room and given a bed, I was checked and they said they could see baby’s head and told me to feel. I’d asked for the epidural and they said there’s no point, and to push my baby out. I got onto all fours and leaned on the headrest and pushed with everything I had. After a while I still said she wasn’t moving down, and a doctor came to check me. They realised she was OT positioned, chin up instead of down and her hand up by her face. They told me I would need to be 12-13cms dilated to fit this circumference through, and that the part of her head we could see/feel was actually a swelling. Hearing this I said yes fine let’s have an assisted delivery, and it then became a waiting game for the anaesthetist to give the epidural.

I used a peanut ball to try and get baby to move but nothing was working. This was incredibly tough, as my body was involuntarily pushing every 2 minutes and would do 4-5 big pushes that I couldn’t stop, and knowing they weren’t doing anything was mentally really hard to deal with.

The anaesthetist took between 30-60 minutes to arrive and I really struggled through this. At one point my heart rate matched exactly with my baby’s, and they panicked they had actually lost my baby’s heartbeat and were picking up mine twice on the monitors. They pressed the red button and the room filled with people. Hearing this made me panic and we had to have an ultrasound to confirm she was ok. This escalated her heart rate and through all of this I was so glad I had chosen to do the majority of my labour at home to avoid all this stress!

Eventually I was given the epidural and wheeled to theatre to have an episiotomy and forceps delivery. I had to wait to be told to push because of the epidural. At one point the midwife said ‘push for Arabella’ and Christian said he saw something change in me, I pushed and didn’t stop until she was born. She weighed 9lbs 12 and had a head full of hair! I asked for delayed cord clamping but they said the cord was nearly white and they wanted to cut it to check my baby over.

They then took her to check her (I later found out this was because she had passed meconium on her way out), but didn’t tell me this was what they were doing and then tried weighing her and cleaning her. For me this was the hardest part of my experience as I was begging them to give me my baby and I could hear her crying.

Once she was passed to me we locked eyes and I sang to her to calm her down - it’s a moment I will never forget.

Overall I look back on my experience and feel so proud of myself, my body and my baby for how we laboured. I really enjoyed my labour! Of the 21 hours of active labour, only the last 2 hours were painful and difficult. Once she was a week old I did experience some very difficult feelings where I didn’t want anyone holding her except me or Christian, which I think was caused by not getting the immediate skin to skin.

I would recommend the positive birth company to all expectant mothers, I feel it equipped me with invaluable tools and I still use the breathing techniques now!