Birth story - Kayleigh and baby Nelly

I’ve wanted to be a mum for as long as I can remember, so when I fell pregnant with our little baby, I was over the moon! There was just one tiny thing to get past... GIVING BIRTH! Whether it’s your first baby or your 5th, it can be daunting!

When my midwife came to see me for the first time, she asked me if I had considered hypnobirthing. I’ll be the first to admit it was an eye roll moment🙄 I didn’t know much about birth, but I knew I didn’t want to be hypnotised! I pushed the idea to the back of my mind. There is a HUGE misconception around hypnobirthing which I think is mainly down to its name more than anything. Then, when lockdown hit, I was spending a lot of time online and came across The Positive Birth Company on YouTube. After watching a few short videos, I was instantly intrigued and ordered their book ‘How To Make Your Birth Better’. Within a couple of pages, my opinion and understanding had totally changed. It completely diminished any fear I had around birth and assured me that I had a say on what happened to me when it was time to bring our baby into the world.

On 20th August 2020, (just one day before my due date!) I woke up at 3am with a backache. I assumed I’d slept funny on my giant pregnancy pillow, never once thinking I could be in labour. After going for a wee and noticing my show, I realised it was all systems go! I excitedly woke up my partner and we started using the Freya app to time my surges which were getting stronger in intensity and already just 3 to 4 minutes apart. I immediately began using my breathing technique that I’d learnt from my book and oh my goodness, I couldn’t have gotten through the rest of my labour without it! Breathing in for 4, exhale for 8... and repeat. Under the guidance of my book, I knew that my labour would progress quicker if I remained relaxed, so I sent my partner off to create my own little haven in the bath - I’d even saved a bath bomb for the big day! I soaked in the bath for around 3 hours, continuing with my breathing and watching Modern Family on my phone! I was completely calm and in my element.

At around 6:30am, I texted my midwife to let her know I wasn’t going to be attending my 40 week check up for obvious reasons! She called me shortly after and kindly offered to assess me at home before her clinic started. I got myself dressed and waited for her to arrive, still using the Freya app to time my surges and breathing through each one. When she arrived at 8:30, she was totally shocked to find that I was already 6cm dilated and my waters were bulging, yet I was completely calm. She told me that I should make my way to the hospital right away, but I was more than comfortable at home watching the telly. To tell the truth, I was worried about going into the hospital on my own because of COVID, so I wanted to stay at home as long as I possibly could all the while I was comfortable to do so. The breathing exercise I learnt enabled me to do this and I couldn’t be more thankful to have been given this knowledge.

At 10am (after hoovering and doing my makeup!) we made our way to the hospital where I was assessed again and was now 7cm. My birth plan was to have a water birth with gas & air as pain relief, but the gas and air made me sick so I stopped using it. After spending an hour or two in the water, I made the decision to get out as my surges were getting further apart. Well, this certainly did the trick because the moment I was on the bed, my surges whirred up again and came along thick and fast. My back waters broke shortly after, and the next time I was assessed, I was fully dilated! Unfortunately, my front waters were still at breaking point but hadn’t gone yet, so the student midwife broke them for me. It was an uncomfortable sensation, but again, I was able to breathe through it and all of a sudden they whooshed. My partner said he was surprised the midwife wasn’t swept out of the room!

It was at this point that the midwives voiced their concerns on the colour of my water, they were dark which meant I had meconium, and suddenly things seemed very serious from the light hearted atmosphere that I knew just moments before.

There was a lot of whispering between them and dashing in and out of the room until they came to the conclusion that it would be safer to deliver my baby on the labour ward. Initially, I didn’t want a hospital environment and had my heart set on a water birth, but after using my BRAIN, I agreed it was best for me and my baby. I am usually the type of person who has to stick to a plan and feel completely overwhelmed if things change last minute, however I was fully prepared for anything that day and knew that no matter what, my body would do its job and deliver my baby safely.

Positive affirmations played a part in this, they stick in your mind without you even realising that they’re there. One of my favourites was, ‘my contractions cannot be stronger than me because they are me’. There was also a section in the book that explained how even if I was unconscious, my body would still know how to birth my baby. The only job I had to do to help things along was keep calm and keep oxygen flowing where it needed to be.

At 3:12pm, after being carted off to the labour ward, my beautiful baby girl was born. I went through the entire experience purely focusing on my breathing and being calm in the knowledge my body would and could do its thing.

On paper, it wasn’t the most straightforward birth with the meconium and a second degree tear, but it was the most amazing experience and I look back at it feeling empowered and excited to do it again some day!