Birth story - Kayleigh and baby Alfie

*Trigger Warning* - contractions (not negative for me), long labour, “failure to progress”, spinal, forceps, unplanned C-section.

I’ve debated whether or not to share my story (it’s a long one!) as its ending may not be deemed particularly positive but my labour itself was everything I could have hoped for and I have this course and it’s community to thank for that. Thank you to all the mamas who have shared their stories so far. I’ve loved reading them all.

Pregnancy

My pregnancy was extremely straightforward all in all. I experienced nausea, some vomiting and fatigue between weeks 6 and 16 which made my job as a community nurse quite challenging. Weeks 34 - 36 brought a period of terrible sciatica which left me pretty immobile but once that faded I felt great. I really loved being pregnant and I miss my bump.

Having experienced anxiety in the past I felt determined to make sure I was in the right mindset leading up to birth. I began this course at 28 weeks and religiously watched the videos and listened to the MP3s daily falling asleep to the positive affirmations each night. I watched all the videos myself then again with my husband closer to due date. Our bags were packed from week 35 and we felt very organised and ready to meet our baby.

Birth

Early signs… (I am going to go in to unnecessary detail here because I became obsessed with reading other woman’s experiences to compare). I began with intense lightning crotch in week 39. I attended my 40 week midwife appointment at 39+6 and on feeling bump was assured his head was engaged and he was in a good head down position. He was facing to the side and had been from week 34 but I was told he’d do his final turn in labour. I was offered a sweep which I declined. I felt confident that things were starting to happen and wanted this to unfold naturally letting him come when he was ready. I was booked in for an appointment at the hospital the following week (41+1) for monitoring and a scan if he hadn’t made his appearance by then and advised they’d likely discuss induction at this point.

My due date came and went and the days which followed were uneventful - lots of Braxton hicks and lower abdominal aching with intermittent lightning crotch. I never expected to become impatient especially after telling myself that “my baby will come any time FROM my due date” but I was receiving messages daily asking if there were any signs and this was beginning to bother me (in future, I will never share my due date again). I took myself away from my phone and entered a little bubble of zen to try and get Oxytocin flowing - Netflix, ball bouncing, daily walks, lavender oil baths, affirmations on repeat! I also nested to my hearts content - the cleanest my house has ever and will ever be!

Friday 29th July (41+1) - appointment day and still no real signs. The scan and monitor showed everything was fine with baby. I was offered another sweep which I again declined. We booked an induction date for the following Tuesday 2nd August. I so desperately didn’t want a deadline looming over us but I had a strong feeling that giving us the weekend would be enough to get things going naturally. We left the appointment and spoke to our community midwife - using our BRAIN we decided there would be no harm in booking a sweep the Monday morning if still nothing had happened over the weekend and this could perhaps get things moving naturally ahead of induction day. I booked this in and felt happy with our plan.

In a bid to really get the oxytocin flowing, my husband and I then went in to the city and walked our favourite route along the river before picking up a Thai takeaway and watching a film together at home. I went to bed thinking “what a lovely evening” and lo and behold my first contraction arrived at 10:30 just as I was dozing off! I began timing them on my Freya app as they were ranging from 6-10 minutes in between. I used my up breathing and managed to get very small windows of sleep in between as they were manageable. The intensity increased around 1am so I phoned labour ward to give them the heads up and discuss my symptoms, they confirmed it sounded like the latent phase of labour and told me to rest and await for 3 contractions in 10 minutes. I took some paracetamol and went back to bed and decided to let my husband sleep too as I anticipated he’d be needing his rest as much as me!

At 4am I decided to run a lavender oil bath and light some candles and listen to my affirmations - this woke my husband up and he loaded the car and got all the last minute bits in order. There was very much a feeling of “this is it!”. I got out the bath and lit my lavender candle, got cosy on the sofa and watched a Disney film.

The pattern of contractions continued irregularly throughout the day and seemed to stretch further apart (10-15 minutes) so I eventually stopped timing them. I spent the day on my ball watching Disney films and grazing on snacks to keep my energy levels up. This continued in to the night and in to the following day (Sunday) I was beginning to wonder if things would ever ramp up. Then I went for a wee in the late afternoon and hurrah - my mucous plug! The boost that I needed. We went to bed early and after a few hours I felt an intense pressure below alongside each contraction. I woke my husband and told him I wanted to go in to be examined. After 48 hours of being at home in labour I was at a point where I was curious to know if I was dilated at all. I phoned labour ward and they said they would examine me but warned me there would be a chance I’d be sent home again.

Monday 1st August (41+4) 00:20 we arrived at the hospital and were shown to a room immediately within the assessment area of labour ward. I was examined and found to be 3cm which I was thrilled with. The two days of labouring hadn’t been for nothing! The midwife was just lovely - she took my birth preferences and returned offering to run me a bath noticing I’d mentioned water in my plan as pain relief. She dotted tea lights around to create a cosier atmosphere. She offered me codeine which I declined stating I had taken paracetamol regularly which was managing my symptoms so far. I bathed for around 20 minutes then went to bed managing still to get a couple of minutes sleep between each contraction. My contractions continued with 6-8 minutes between each one until around 7am when they became the golden 3 in 10 - my app then told me I was in established labour.

There had been a changeover of staff and the day midwife came in to our room with a student and to our surprise asked me how I felt about going home to continue labouring there as she didn’t feel they were doing much for me at this time. I explained that I had laboured at home for two days and the intensity was increasing so I’d prefer to stay where I could be monitored. I also pointed out that my app stated I was in established labour. She was quite dismissive of the app and asked me to explain why I thought I was in labour. This was my first wobble as I felt I wasn’t being taken seriously. She felt looking at me I was not in established labour. I asked her to examine me as I had been 3cm 7 hours ago so would be keen to know what I am now. She agreed and on examination she confirmed I was 5cm dilated (hallelujah!). She seemed surprised but kindly honoured our requests within our preferences and got the pool running and room ready on the MLU. I was quickly shown through and introduced to our midwife who would be with us for the day. Our room was exactly what I wanted - an oasis of calm with a huge birthing pool. I felt proud of myself and so empowered having stood up for what I knew was right for me and my baby. My husband laid out my tea lights and fairy lights, put on my birthing playlist and sprayed lavender around the room. I have never loved him more.

I immediately got in to the pool and felt lighter than air. I can’t emphasise how much the water helped me with the intensity of each contraction. I continued between the pool and birth ball throughout my whole labour with intermittent monitoring with a Doppler every 15 minutes and examinations every couple of hours to check how dilated I was. It all felt so relaxed - we snacked and chatted between contractions. I was doing well throughout the day until the evening when there was some concern I was failing to progress. It was around 5pm when my midwife said I was 9cm and she’d check me again at 7pm. She told us she could feel lots of hair on his head and this spurred me on during those last couple of hours.

At 7pm I was no further dilated than 9cm and my midwife became concerned that as he was still facing sideways he wasn’t going to complete his final turn. The mood in the room began to change. A registrar came in and attempted to manually turn him but this was unsuccessful. I was offered gas and air at this point but I declined using my up breathing to count through it. I began to sense my natural birth was going to become very medically managed at this stage. The registrar was concerned as baby had developed some swelling at the top of his head where he had been pressed on my cervix for so long and she explained they wanted to take me to theatre to give a spinal and attempt forceps. If this was unsuccessful then we’d need to progress to C-section. This was upsetting for both me and my husband as it had all happened so quickly and seemingly without warning. I was trying to use my BRAIN but my contractions were happening thick and fast and it very much felt at this time that we needed to place our trust in the Drs. My instinct was strong and our main concern was getting him out as quickly and safely as possible. My only question was could we just go straight to C section and avoid forceps entirely but the Dr wanted to give us the best chance of avoiding C section and the recovery which comes with that. I was happy with that rationale so we signed the forms and I was cannulated, bloods taken, stockings on and we were on our way.

Once in theatre I felt very uncomfortable. My favourite affirmation of “every surge is bringing me closer to meeting my baby” was no longer true and therefore felt pointless. The spinal was most welcome which surprised me as that had always been a fear of mine. I relaxed in to the situation and found myself just so looking forward to finally meeting our baby after all this time. They attempted forceps initially but were unsuccessful so progressed immediately on to a C-section. At 21:36, almost exactly 71 hours from my first contraction he was finally here. After having some initial checks because light meconium was found in my waters we had some lovely skin to skin time as I had requested.

I was taken back to the ward for some of that famous tea and toast and my husband and I had several hours together with our new little man sharing cuddles. He took to the breast immediately and fed for a whole 40 minutes which I was delighted about.

It had always been important to me that I remained open minded and calm throughout my labour so my baby had the kindest entrance in to the world and whilst the ending was more chaotic than I’d originally hoped, I was able to stay calm at every stage. I also never in a million years thought I’d be able to labour as naturally as I did and with as little pain relief. I owe my ability to do this entirely to the course and everything it equipped me with. I can’t lie, I did, and still do, feel robbed of the natural birth I felt I’d prepared so hard for but my hope is I can go on to have a VBAC in the future. For now we are feeling very blessed with our little Alfie who we love very much.