Birth story - Kaci and baby girl

*Trigger Warning* - use of contractions, pain, medication

Though it may seem like this is not positive (since my birth preferences all completely went out the window!), I assure you I am so happy about my birth and felt super empowered! I am very happy that I was able to be open to changing my plan and was able to protect my memory of what will probably be my only birth.

Story-

After 2 years of infertility, we conceived successfully via IVF. We were blessed with one beautiful embryo and she stuck around!

Pregnancy was super smooth. I has some nausea in the first trimester and some swelling and slowly rising blood pressure towards the end.

I did everything I could to jumpstart natural labor, but at my 39 week appointment, I was a solid 1cm dilated. My cervix was very soft though. My midwife asked me to come back at 39+5 for another check. Again, I was 1cm dilated. I came back at 40+4, I was 2.5 cm and I accepted a sweep. My midwife suggested we at least schedule an induction just to be safe because I would need to go through an NST if she didn’t arrive by 41 weeks. I had told my husband on the way to the appointment that I was getting concerned and anxious and felt like at least scheduling an induction would ease my mind. So, it was easy to make that decision and I felt like we were all on the same page.

That night I had some cramps and stronger Braxton hicks, but nothing consistent.

At 40+6 we arrived at the hospital at 8 am. My midwife asked to perform a cervical check and I thought, what the heck, let’s see! I was at 2.5 cm and 60% effaced. The first dose of cytotek was administered and I decided to bounce on the birthing ball, walk around the hospital, and try to relax. Unfortunately, the first dose didn’t do much. At noon-ish, my midwife came back, checked my cervix and I was up to a 3, and about 70% effaced. So another dose of cytotek was administered and my midwife offered to try to break my water to hopefully jumpstart my labor. She was able to puncture my sac, but no fluid came out. My midwife was a tad concerned but did say baby’s head was deep in my pelvis and could be blocking the exit.

This second dose did yield some true contractions and we started to get excited! But after the 4 hours, the contractions faded. I was hooked up to pitocin.

Shortly after pitocin was administered, my contractions really ramped up! I was practicing up breathing and bouncing on the ball. I started to need to close my eyes and focus to make it through each contraction. My contractions were confined to my hips and lower abdomen. They unfortunately did not feel like waves at all. They just came on suddenly and disappeared. After a little while, I wanted to try the bath. That did help along with listening to my affirmations, but I was really getting uncomfortable. I asked to go to my birthing ball and that was somewhat helpful, but the contractions were coming SO quickly and intensely that I couldn’t tell the difference between contractions. (In hindsight, I wish I would’ve asked my husband or midwife to tell me when a contraction was over so I could mentally know to rest because in my mind, it was all one big contraction).

After what seemed like forever, my mind was racing, I couldn’t hear my affirmations through my contractions and everything seemed like total chaos. I told my husband I wanted the epidural. We called for one and I asked for gas and air in the meantime. My midwife checked me one last time to make sure I wasn’t in transition, but I was at 5cm and 80% effaced. So I possibly still had a long way to go. Especially since all the medication I had received hadn’t helped. The gas and air did help, but I was already circling the drain mentally and my blood pressure was starting to increase. I got the epidural and it’s like a light bulb went off. I was immediately feeling more relaxed. And I actually quite enjoyed the pressure I still felt for a few minutes. I was actually a little bummed when I lost all sensations. BUT I was able to finally relax my body and allow it to do its thing. My midwife even joked with me, “Welcome back, Kaci.” So I was obviously not doing well.

Fast forward to around 1 am I was finally complete and ready to push. I did need to be guided in my pushing at first because I could not feel anything. I felt so ineffective, but then I started to feel pressure and I was able to push her out without guidance!

She was born at 3:40 am and I was able to feel and experience her being born. It was magical!

In the end, right before we were discharged, my midwife and I were able to chat about my birth. We both talked about how my birth went exactly as it needed to. It seemed as though my body was not going to labor correctly. After/during birth, no fluids came out with her which means my fluid was SUPER low and I absolutely needed to be induced when I did. I also needed the epidural because my mind was not allowing my body to progress. We also talked about my birth goals and how my main goal was to have a positive birth experience and a baby who is alive and well. We both agreed that I achieved that even though my other goal was an unmedicated birth.

I am so pleased with my birth and am so happy I get to share it! The PBC did help me be okay with everything that happened, even though it wasn’t exactly what I planned!