Birth story - Jackie and baby Joel

*Trigger warning* - use of the word ‘contractions’ (not negative for me), 2nd degree tear.

Its taken me a year to write this, but I loved reading these stories when I was pregnant. I began saving the stories that I felt were particularly positive and empowering so I could re-read them as my due date approached and I found this helped me to really stay positive and confident. I hope this can do the same for someone else.

*Pregnancy*

I had a really good pregnancy overall. I had nausea from 5 weeks and sickness from 8 weeks to 16 weeks but due to Covid lockdowns I was working from home which meant it was much easier to manage and hide from work. I was low risk throughout and so on the ‘basic’ package in terms of scans and midwife appointments.

Pre-pregnancy I was a very active, sporty person, and I kept up as much as I could during my pregnancy despite the gyms etc closing due to Covid. I continued to play field hockey until 12 weeks, and then continued with twice weekly PT sessions, walking and yoga until I gave birth. I continued running up to about 28 weeks. From around 30 weeks the pools re-opened, and I was able to swim again which was absolute bliss.

I suffered with a bit of pelvic pain, but it was generally manageable with the exercise I was doing. In the last 6ish weeks of pregnancy my feet and ankles swelled up, but I think a significant factor was a blast of super-hot weather. My midwife was not unduly concerned as my blood pressure was fine and didn’t have any issues with my urine samples.

*Preparing for Labour*

A friend recommended the Positive Birth Company to me early on in my pregnancy. At first, I was sceptical of hypnobirthing as I thought it was all a bit ‘hippy’, but once I watched the PBC videos on YouTube I was sold and quickly bought the digital pack. I binge watched the videos around 17 weeks pregnant (and again at 30 and 39 weeks) and absolutely loved the science and how it all made complete logical sense. I also purchased the book too and found it a nice complimentary read.

I adopted some of the recommendations immediately - including listening to the Freya app and practising my up breathing every night before I slept. My husband is not the sort who would sit and watch the videos, but throughout my pregnancy I talked to him about key points, interesting info and let him know things I would need. At 38 weeks I gave him a bullet point list of what to expect during labour and key ways he could help me, what I wanted etc.

I ate dates from 34 weeks and (attempted) perineal massage from 36 weeks.

*Labour*

I’d been having increased lower back ache and period type cramps in the bottom of my bump and Braxton hicks for several weeks before my due date. I also noticed an increase in my discharge as I got closer and I had started to lose tiny bits of my plug from 39 weeks.

I very strongly bought into ‘my baby will come when my baby is ready’ and knew I’d want to avoid intervention as far as possible, particularly where both me and the baby were fine and low risk.

I declined a sweep at my 40-week midwife check and continued going about my week. I’m generally a pretty chilled out person but as the week progressed with no significant signs, I felt myself start to get nervous and anxious about the pressure I’d be put under to induce at 40+12. But on a recommendation seen in this group, I downloaded the ‘Why Induction Matters’ book and got myself back into my positive and stronger mindset.

At 41 weeks, on a Sunday, I noticed an increase in my back ache and period type pains. They seemed to be coming and going throughout the afternoon, so I wondered if they were the start of the latent phase. They were very low key and manageable, and I just had a nice, chilled afternoon bouncing on my ball watching tv with my husband. By about 6pm the pains died off and I had a decent night’s sleep.

The following morning (41+1) I woke up without any particular signs, but as I got up and started moving about, the period type pains returned. I had my 41 week check with my midwife at 11:30 am and so made my way to that. I declined a sweep again (as per my original plan). Although I explained why I wouldn’t want to have an induction, she made an appointment with the consultant at the hospital for the end of the week (as per the procedures she had to follow), but she said I could discuss the alternative options for extra monitoring etc with the consultant if I still wanted to refuse induction. I was comfortable with this plan and accepted this. However, given my current symptoms, my midwife was confident all signs were heading in the right direction, and I would have given birth before that appointment.

On my way back towards the car, I stopped for a milkshake and sat and had a rest for 10 or so minutes. But when I got up and started walking to the car park, I realised my period-type pains had really ramped up, and I had to stop and lean against a shop window and use my up breathing for the first time.

I had arranged to go and see my mum after my midwife appointment, but decided it was time to go home and get prepared, so I text her and then headed straight home. Luckily, I only live 10 mins or so away because I was severely regretting refusing my husband’s offer of a lift to the doctor’s surgery! I got home around 1pm ish and spent the afternoon bouncing on my ball and watching nice films. By about 3pm I decided to start timing my contractions on the Freya app and asked my husband to put my tens machine on - which I absolutely loved. Freya quite quickly said I was in established labour, but I knew that it only tracked frequency and length of contractions, not intensity, and I felt confident I wasn’t yet at a point where I needed further support. I laboured at home comfortably for the next few hours on my ball and then for each contraction I’d kneel on the sofa, lean over the back and use my up breathing. Thanks to PBC I felt totally calm and in control the whole time. Any time the contractions felt like they were getting a bit too intense I’d up the level on my tens machine by one and it immediately brought me back into a comfortable and controlled state. (For reference, by the time I was pushing I reached level 6/10 on the machine and was still feeling totally in the zone). My contractions were generally around 5-8 minutes apart for most of the afternoon and gradually increasing in intensity, but I can honestly say that thanks to the up breathing and tens machine, I honestly felt no pain, only the intensity of my contractions. I knew to wait until they were established in 3 in 10 and nice and strong, and so I felt completely calm and confident to labour at home without any need for further support.

About 6pm my waters went, and this increased the frequency and intensity of my contractions to about every 2.5 minutes. At this point I called the maternity triage and they said to come in if I felt it was time - again, thanks to PBC I felt entirely clear headed, calm and in control and I knew now was the right time to go.

I live about 20 mins from the hospital, and to be honest, the journey wasn’t particularly pleasant. I was very uncomfortable to be sitting with a seat belt on, rather than kneeling as I had been all afternoon. But I had my headphones in listening to the Freya app, I kept my eyes shut and I just focused super hard on my up breathing. Arriving at the hospital, it took what felt like forever to get to the maternity unit – partly because my contractions were coming thick and fast and I had to stop each time and then almost sprint-waddle in the small gaps in between, but also partly because my plank of a husband accidently took me on a tour of the hospital because he didn’t realise there was a direct entrance to the maternity unit at the other end (logistics were supposed to be his responsibility!). Lots of lovely people kept stopping me to offer a wheelchair, but I was adamant I was fine and could manage as I was so focused on staying in the zone!

We got to the birth centre by about 19:30 and waited to be triaged. This point was probably the worse for me. The change in environment made me feel less in control and the wait to be seen felt like forever. Despite calling before we left and getting the invite to head in, the midwives apparently didn’t know we were coming. I wasn’t unduly concerned and just worked hard on staying in the zone with my headphones in listing to the Freya app. A midwife asked me to do a urine sample and that took a lot of effort as I now realise (in hindsight) I transitioned whilst attempting to do this! Eventually I made it back out of the loo and whilst still waiting I felt my body change and start to push. I told my husband to find the midwife quickly as I did not want to stay in the holding area any longer.

The midwife came and asked to examine me as I may ‘not yet be in established labour’! Again, due to PBC I was very confident to trust my body and said I did not want any internal examinations unless medically necessary and I was confident I was definitely in established labour. She didn’t seem convinced but moments later following an involuntary ‘moo’ from me, she quickly got on board and showed us to a lovely room and started filling up the pool.

My contractions were still coming thick and fast, but I held on to the edge of the pool and got myself back into my calm and controlled state. The room was nice, but at this point I really didn’t care about candles or nice smells or anything like that - what I’ve since realised is that all of those things are what you need if you have to be (or choose to be) in hospital in the early stages. Once you’ve reached the down stage, you’re so in the zone you really don’t care!

Once the pool was ready, I had to get in. I remember being very reluctant to take off my tens machine as I loved that thing! But I wanted to try the water and so I got in. Interestingly, I didn’t find the water particularly therapeutic or soothing. It was fine and didn’t cause me any distress or anything, but I think because I was actually doing so well on dry land with my tens machine and I got into the pool at such a late stage, in hindsight it wasn’t really needed. However, I stayed in there for a while, trying to breath down my baby and relax and let things happen. My husband did a good job holding the handheld fan - I was so very hot! I feel like I wasn’t in the pool very long as time flies when you’re in established labour, but my husband said it was over an hour.

The midwife was a bit of an annoyance at this point as she kept making me sit back so she could get the heartbeat reading every 5 minutes, when I just wanted to lean over the side of the pool on my knees, and she was struggling to do this efficiently. After a while of me breathing down, she said she wasn’t happy because there didn’t appear to be any movement in terms of the baby coming down, and she asked again if she could do an internal exam, as ‘if I wasn’t fully dilated, I could cause myself more damage by pushing on cervix.’ I was entirely sure and clear I was definitely in established labour, and everything was fine, but my husband was starting to worry (he hadn’t fully bought into the BRAIN process and hadn’t done the course) and so I agreed to get out and be checked. Getting out of the pool when second stage contractions are coming that quickly was really difficult and required way more effort than I wanted to give!

I eventually made it out and lay on the floor bed area. The midwife did a quick internal exam, which was absolutely fine, and confirmed I was indeed 10cm. After this she relaxed much more and let me get back in the pool, but she wanted to start coaching me to push. Weirdly at this point my contractions switched again and started rolling in a way where they started in the front of my bump with the very strong pushing feeling, but then they would move to my back and the pushing feeling would drop off. When I explained this to the midwife, she told me I needed to actively push through the whole contraction. I wasn’t keen on this, as I wanted to trust my body to bring the baby down rather than active pushing, but she was adamant it’s why the baby wasn’t coming down.

As it had been quite a long time since I had entered the down stage and there wasn’t any obvious movement of the baby coming down, I used BRAIN and I decided to follow her advice and actively push. The baby still wasn’t coming down that well, so the midwife asked me to get out the pool and try on the ground. I lay back on the padded floor bed area with my knees up and tried pushing but it was still taking a long time.

After a while the midwife said she wanted to take me round to the labour ward just in case I needed assistance. I used BRAIN again and agreed and was calmly wheeled round. I still felt completely fine and in control. Although it wasn’t my ideal position, I decided to follow the midwife’s recommendation and sat in the bed with my feet in stirrups and continued actively pushing. The midwife seemed happier once I was in this position and it seemed we were finally making some progress.

A doctor popped in shortly after I arrived on the labour ward and told the midwife to put a cannula in ‘just in case’. I refused on the basis it wasn’t necessary and my midwife was entirely supportive of this. A little while later the doctor popped in again and suggested the midwife give me ‘a little cut’ to help the baby come out. The midwife said no thanks, we’re fine and kicked the doctor out. I was pleased at this point that the midwife was on my side and understood my wishes.

Finally, after about an hour of just using down breathing and two hours active pushing Joel came out at 22:47, less than 12 hours from my first contraction and less than 8 hours (my estimate) from the start of established labour. He’d had his hand by his face which I’m told was why it took so long to get him to get him to come down. The ring of fire when he crowned was real, but it was brief and the relief that he was finally here was so strong. I had the injection for the placenta due to having a bit of blood loss, and then we had lovely, relaxed cuddles for a good hour or so and then the midwife came to stitch me up. I had two 2nd degree tears and I tried the gas and air for those – it was only at this point I realised I’d hadn’t even thought to ask to try it during labour as I clearly didn’t need it! The stitches were the worst part for me, but it’s something you just deal with. I wasn’t keen on the gas and air as it made me feel unpleasantly drunk, so I’m glad I didn’t need it for the birth. Once the stitches were done, I had a lovely hot shower and tea and toast and then was wheeled round into the ward around 2am.

Prior to having Joel, I strongly felt I wanted to go home as soon as possible after birth. Due to the time of night when we were finally ready, the midwife gave me two options: I could either go now but come back in the morning for the baby checks, or just stay overnight and have the checks in the morning. Given the time of night, my husband and I agreed it actually made more sense for me to stay in. I was pleasantly surprised how ok I was at being on the ward. When they wheeled me round there were just two other ladies with their babies. One was asleep the other awake but quiet. After my husband left, I remember just staring at Joel in his crib, and then getting him out as I wanted to cuddle him! I think I dosed a bit but mainly I was running on adrenaline. Also, towards the morning various nurses etc came by and so sleep wasn’t really practical. I felt very calm though and just happy to be hanging out with my new baby. After the various checks etc were done in the morning, Joel and I were discharged about 2pm and my husband took us both home.

I’m so happy I found PBC and I completely credit the knowledge of how to work with my body and the breathing techniques for enabling me to have such a positive birth experience.