Birth story - Harriet and baby Sienna

*Trigger warning* - use of word contraction and pain as not negative to me.

I can't believe that after nine months of reading your stories, I'm sitting down (well lying, at 6am in a moment of peace) to write about mine, less than 48 hours after getting the dream water birth that I had dared hope for. I am still in absolute awe of how perfect it was.

Pregnancy:

I was incredibly lucky and had a relatively low risk, easy pregnancy but I still found it quite tough! The usual nausea and fatigue in the first couple of trimesters, then quite bad pelvic girdle pain in the third which I found quite debilitating, but it magically improved when I got signed of work at 36 weeks... I loved maternity leave and immediately cleaned the house from top to bottom, about three times. Had increasing Braxton Hicks in the last two weeks. I did a LOT of birth education from second trimester onwards (including Ina May's Guide to Childbirth, PBC hypnobirthing course and Samantha Gadsden's Home Birth Support Group on Facebook) which really empowered me. I had hoped for a home birth but the service in my area was still suspended due to COVID/short staffing so we registered to give birth at our nearest open birth centre in Maidstone.

Labour:

Just before 3am on Valentine's Day, I started getting very mild, irregular period like cramps. Unable to sleep, I went downstairs, had some crumpets and tea and watched Love is Blind (of course). I thought this could be the start of labour but kept telling myself it could be days yet until we meet her. I didn't want to get my hopes up. I napped from 5-8am, then spent the rest of the morning on a bit of a mission, cleaning cupboards out that had previously escaped my attention, baking a cake, walking the dog, doing some washing and updating my doula. I made my partner hoover the whole house, just in case she arrived soon! The cramps were irregular but hadn't stopped and then at 10/11 my mucus plug started coming away. I told my partner and he cried! We knew it was a good sign. I spent the rest of the day resting, chilling and snacking (trying to get as much energy on board before the big push!). I had a bath and painted my nails ready for her arrival...

At 6pm while my partner made dinner, things started ramping up a bit and went from 'bad period pain' to something a little more intense that I had to breathe through. At this point Freya said we were in established labour and I had my first suspicion we could be meeting baby tonight. I asked my partner to put the tens machine on and managed the next few hours hour eating mouthfuls of dinner between surges, breathing through them, listening to music, bouncing on the ball and trying to find other comfortable positions for surges - on my knees, bent over the sofa etc. The dog was a terrible birth partner and slept through everything. We called the birth centre to let them know stuff was happening and said we'd probably be in some time tonight. My partner mobilised, getting the hospital bag downstairs, grabbing last minute things, getting the dog's 'sleepover bag' ready and updating family. We had a lovely moment at about 8pm. 'Send me on my way' by Rusted Root came on shuffle, I cried as I bounce-danced and my partner came downstairs sniffing and put his arms around me - we both cried with happiness as we knew this was it, she was coming.

It was quite difficult to tell when to go to the birth centre - a 45 min drive away. I didn't want to go too early and risk having to go back home again, but at this stage during the surges I felt an incredible pressure, like my waters needed to burst, and I just wanted to get in the pool. At 9pm I efficiently threw up my entire dinner and my doula agreed it might be time to go, so we got in the car at 9.15pm. Apart from raging at a driver doing 30 miles an hour in a 60 limit, and having to tell my partner to stop talking to me about eBay while I was managing contractions, the journey was ok but I was so relieved when we arrived. We checked in, met our midwife and support worker, my doula arrived and I was offered a vaginal examination. I hesitated as didn't want to be disheartened if I wasn't very dilated but decided to go ahead before I got in the pool, so I didn't have to get out again later. My midwife tactically told me I was 6 cm which I thought was great, but after told me I was closer to 8!

Real talk: I found the VE quite uncomfortable but the surges suddenly started ramping up so it did something good.

I stripped off and got in the pool about 10.30pm, and almost straight away was low moaning/mooing through surges as they got more intense. My midwife said 'I think you'll be meeting your baby soon sweetheart' but in my head I still thought it could be another four/five hours. The next hour and a half went so quickly. My waters finally popped! My doula mopped my face with a cold flannel (amazing) and my partner held my hands as I gripped onto the side of the pool and fed me sips of water, coconut water and squash from my 'bar' between contractions. The most annoying part of the whole labour was how much I was burping during contractions! I couldn't stop. I hadn't heard of this before and found it so distracting, I just wanted to focus on my breathing! However, my midwife was watching at my tail end and kept encouraging me with the progress: 'I think we might be seeing her before midnight', 'dont hold back, you're not going to do yourself any harm', 'you're safe here' and then suddenly 'she's got a lot of hair!' I couldn't believe how close we were.

The most intense part of the whole labour was birthing the head. After a few uncomfortable surges slowly squeezing her down the birth canal and back again, I had one where her head just stayed there and I didn't get the 'relief' I was used to between contractions and really had to breathe/moan through it. I asked if gas and air would be a good idea at this point but was encouraged by all my birth partners that I was so close, we really didn't need it. Then, with the next surge and a big push, her head popped out! Kneeling there with her head between my legs waiting for the next surge was so surreal, and seemed to take ages, but baby was very chilled hanging then and with the next surge I pushed really hard and suddenly her body was out!!! She shot through my legs and I scooped her up into my arms at 00:01 on 15th February. My step daughter wanted a valentine's baby sister so I should have pushed one minute earlier. She was so squidgy and smooth and perfect and I could not believe how beautiful she was. I was shaking and crying 'oh my god' for minutes after with my baby in my arms, as my body (and mind) processed the shock and awe of it all.

I wanted a physiological third stage so was helped out of the pool after a few minutes. I had ten mins with Sienna on my chest and delayed cord clamping and then was encouraged to push the placenta. It came out, my partner cut the cord and my midwife and doula checked it over with me. I had some tears in my labia so we had a nice hour or so skin to skin, tea and toast while Sienna latched on and the birth centre team got the stuff ready to stitch me. I had tried doing perennial massage in the last few weeks of pregnancy but didn't get on with it and was not really bothered about tearing. Was glad for the gas and air at this point though and chatted and breathed through the process to get my 'designer vagina' back. Midwife said she was going to vajazzle it. Sienna had cuddles with my partner and doula and we were done an hour later. I had a quick shower and we were in bed at the centre by 3am. I was too excited to sleep and spent the next morning staring in awe at our little miracle. I still am.

I feel incredibly lucky to have had such a straight forward, natural birth. I dared to hope for it but can't quite believe that it actually happened. Probably a combination of luck, biology, access to great hypnobirthing education and an incredible support team. Plus managing expectations and staying at home in my happy place for as long as possible.

I feel like a fucking hero but I don't think I am different to any other woman out there. So if I can do it, you definitely can too!