Birth story - Gemma and baby boy

Warning - one negative experience when discussing preferences with a doctor but overall very positive experience aided by knowledge from the digital pack.

I found the positive birth company following the free intro session that Siobhan did on YouTube near the start of lockdown. I bought the digital pack that weekend after watching the introduction. I had no knowledge of hypnobirthing before this and was quite scared of labour and birth, with very little knowledge of what was involved other than outdated (but generally quite heartwarming) info from Call the Midwife!!

I watched the digital pack and noted down specific videos for my husband to watch to prepare him as my birth partner. 

My pregnancy was very straightforward throughout, I was lucky enough to have no complications and due to lockdown was working from home and so not having to commute so could take it a bit easier. I walked my dog and exercised throughout, doing lightweight strength sessions up until the week of my cesarean. This gave me a routine to my mornings despite lockdown turning most things on its head.

At 34 weeks we found that baby was breech, and they said if he was still breech at 36 weeks then we’d have to discuss options. I tried a few things from the spinning babies website but as there was a heatwave I couldn’t face having a hot water bottle on my tummy for long or being upside down due to nausea!

I could feel baby’s head top left of my bump so knew he hadn’t turned, and was referred for a scan to confirm this and to see whether they’d recommend an ECV (when a doctor tries to turn baby using her hands on my tummy).

They recommended an ECV and after asking about benefits, risks, etc I agreed to have one. Unfortunately my husband couldn’t be there to ask questions and make this decision with me. I was nervous about the pain and a little worried if I struggled with discomfort during an ECV, how would I cope in labour! A few days later I had the ECV, the doctor and midwife were very nice, she angled the bed back so my head was lower than my body, found the head and bum and pushed! It was uncomfortable but using deep breathing and by listening to the midwife’s comforting chatter I was able to get through it. On her first attempt she got him 90 degrees before he jumped back, and then second time he wasn’t having any of it. This was disappointing but I was glad to have tried it - the breathing definitely helped me and the fact that I felt confident in the decision to try the ECV having used the BRAIN framework.

They gave me the option to try another ECV a different day with a different doc, but they felt it was unlikely to be successful as baby appeared quite comfy, so I declined this. 

As a first time mum they recommended a planned c section for mine and baby’s safety. After discussing with the doctor I consented to the cesarean. I had preferences for a c section captured on my PBC birth preferences template, so started to mention to him what I’d like but felt quite belittled and disappointed.

• I said I’d like delayed cord clamping and he said there was no evidence of benefit over 30 seconds. I later googled NICE guidelines which confirmed what I knew - that this was incorrect!

• On saying I’d like a gentle cesarean, he said “what’s that then?” which totally threw me and I lost my confidence completely. I flustered and said something about baby being taken out slowly rather than yanked out to help the fluid leave their lungs etc. He said we don’t yank them out, we gently take the head then shoulders out but seemed quite flippant and by this point I just wanted the conversation over- I was already emotional from the failed ECV and talking through the risks of a c section.

• He also looked at my bump growth chart and said I was 96th percentile “so only 4 in 100 babies are bigger than yours” whereas I knew from the midwife that the bump measurement wasn’t too accurate, often overestimated and all they cared about was the trend. I’d also had a growth scan the week before which suggested 68th percentile (also not super accurate though). I knew he was incorrect but didn’t have the confidence to say so! (Baby was born at 7lb 6!)

Following this chat I was quite emotional, The midwife came back and completed my monitoring and was very supportive but could tell I just wanted to get outside to my husband to chat to him!

At home, I then got my head around the c section, saw the positives of the situation - I had a date by which my baby would arrive, my husband could be present the whole time (rather than only once I was 4cm per covid regs at that time), I had a couple of weeks to prepare for being less mobile after birth, unlike those who have an unplanned cesarean, etc. At this point I felt a little disappointed that my preparations for the up stage were not needed - my tealights, collection of photos I love, fan, hot water bottle, tens machine etc would have to wait for another birth if I’m lucky enough to have a second child!! One thing that was put to good use - during my appointments so far my husband had had to wait in the car, due to covid, and had started to make his way through his snack bag and was very grateful for it!

I mentioned the experience regarding my birth preferences at my next community midwife appointment and she was very supportive, she said to mention my preferences to the doctor on the morning of the section, but generally they’ll delay clamping as long as they can before baby gets cold as theatre is very chilly. 

The night before the c section I had to stop eating at midnight and drink some pre op drinks which I’d been told were gross but they weren’t bad at all! This was when I was super grateful for my pregnancy bladder meaning I wake to pee a lot in the night -  my clever body woke me at 11:50 pm so I could rush downstairs and eat some cereal before the midnight cut off of not eating anything! 

The day of the c section arrived! We headed into hospital and they set us up in a nice room where we could chill until it was time. We were second in the queue for a c section that day so not long to wait, there was lots of blood pressure checking as it was quite high but the doctors weren’t too worried. Three different doctors came in separately - the anaesthetist, the lead obstetrician who would do the section and the assistant one. All explained to me what would happen and gave me time to ask questions. They were very friendly and put me at ease. I asked the lead obstetrician about playing my own music and she said that’d be fine no problem. I also said I had heard about “gentle cesareans” and she said they’re not as suitable with a breech birth, babies position means baby normally can’t manoeuvre themself out but she explained that it’s a calm process, and this helped me feel understood and confident about what was going to happen. I also mentioned skin to skin and delayed clamping being important to me, and she said no problem at all. The midwife was lovely and gave me my hospital gown and my husband his scrubs, we got our speaker out ready and chilled on a sofa listening to the radio for a  while, trying to get our heads around the fact that we’d have a baby within hours! 

The midwife then came and said they were ready for me so we walked to theatre, met some more of the theatre team and had some final checks. The anaesthetist again talked me through everything they were going to do and put me at ease, they helped me get into a good position for the injection and were all friendly and relaxed which helped to relax me. My husband got my music playing and they lay me down while my legs started to go numb. The assistant anaesthetist started to put the monitoring on my chest but I reminded them again I wanted skin to skin so they happily moved them to my back. The lead obstetrician came in and said hello, she also checked that it was my music playing, it was great that she’d remembered that bit of my preferences from our earlier conversation. 

The anaesthetist ran something very cold up my leg and I had to confirm when I could feel it - this was somewhere around my breast so he was happy for the section to begin. The curtain went up and the anaesthetist kept explaining what was happening so I always knew what to expect. My husband was sat beside me (he wanted to avoid seeing anything gorey at the business end!) and he gently stroked my hair from this moment on. This was perfect to keep me calm and being able to see and concentrate on him made all the difference, and I think what we’d both learnt from the course meant we knew the importance of me being calm and oxytocin flowing despite it being a c section delivery. The anaesthetist was great at keeping me and my husband calm and informed, warning me I might feel a little tugging soon but that means baby is almost here! There was mild discomfort at moments but not much at all. 

Soon after we heard a cry, and the anaesthetist said “he’s here”! We didn’t know the gender so I said “oh my gosh is it a boy” and he replied “you’ll see for yourself in a minute!” as he was fairly swollen in the genital area apparently, my husband was quite shocked!! We were happy to be told the gender so I didn’t mind that he announced it then. Seconds later the screen was lowered and baby was held up above the screen so we could see, and they told us that as well as immediately crying he was immediately peeing, causing a nice mess for the doctors!! I was in shock and excited tears to see him and know he was well so this next moment was a blur but what felt like very quickly he was on my chest with a towel over him! He was so high up my chest that I couldn’t see his face only the top of his head so kept asking my husband what he looked like and whether he was ok through happy tears!! He stayed on my chest for 25 minutes according to my hospital notes, this was wonderful! I felt the odd tugging as they stitched me up but was so consumed by love and the fact that we had a boy who was here safe that I didn’t notice much. My husband saw my face wince once and I think they asked if I was ok with him still on my chest and I said yep fine, I didn’t want him to be moved just yet! It was a wonderful feeling as he’d been crying on arrival but was calm and snoozing on my chest which made my heart so full. 

The midwife popped over and said it was a good time to weigh him now, so bubs went with her and my husband to be weighed (my husband forgot to look away as they walked to the scales so was a little shocked to see the business end!) but quickly focused on watching our boy be weighed - 7lb 6 and then the midwife swaddled him and popped his hat on and my husband had a cuddle. The midwife suggested she take some photos which was fab, we would have forgotten and it was lovely to capture the moment. 

Before long they said I was all sewn up and they then removed the curtain and did their final checks eg confirming out loud to each other what operation they’d completed and that all the equipment used had been double checked and counted, this was weird to listen to!

They then wheeled us into recovery, and settled us there for a while. I had a small bout of sickness but they quickly gave me meds to help with this and I was soon eager for the amazing tea and toast!! 

A maternity support worker helped baby latch on. I was a little delirious from the meds and happy for her to manoeuvre baby and my boob together, I think my husband was a little shocked by how forward and forceful she was!! My husband then had some skin to skin and helped the midwife dress bub for the first time.

They were then happy I could go to the ward, where my husband couldn’t join but we asked them to book a slot for him to visit that afternoon (covid rules).

On the postnatal ward I slowly felt the feeling in my legs come back, they removed the catheter and measured my wees afterwards to check I was passing urine ok. We continued to get help with breastfeeding and stayed in for two nights. 

My husband was so proud of how I’d been during the section- he said I looked like I was at afternoon tea - so chilled and happy! This was due to:

1) My knowing I was soon to meet my baby

2) Feeling empowered, understanding what was happening and that I’d given informed consent to all they were doing and 

3) My husband being there the whole time, being able to see his face every second and him gently stroking my hair the whole time. 

Our boy is now 10 weeks and we’re besotted