Birth story - Filiz and baby Mila

*Trigger warning* - Miscarriage and second degree tear.

A brief background on my pregnancy history:

I had two miscarriages; first one in November 2019 at 48 days - I didn't know that I was pregnant. The miscarriage happened naturally a day after I had taken a pregnancy test. In June 2020, I found out that I was pregnant; the following month I went in for a scan to find out that the sac was measuring at 8+4 weeks and baby had stopped growing at 5+4 weeks. The miscarriage was started using medication.

Now:

We used ovulation stimulating medication under the care of a private gynecologist to conceive. The first attempt was in December 2020 which was unsuccessful. Then we tried again in March 2021 and at 3+2 weeks I found out that I was pregnant.

I've had a pretty smooth pregnancy with hardly any pregnancy related symptoms, except for poor sleep between 4 and 6 weeks and again towards the end of my pregnancy and hemorrhoids from 24 weeks onwards. At 34 and 36 weeks my bump was measured slightly big, so I was sent for a growth scan. I was looking forward to having the scan as the last one was done around 16 weeks. At the scan baby measured within the normal range.

During my pregnancy I started various routines from 28 weeks. I did yoga from 28 weeks most days, if not all, I drank raspberry leaf tea from 32 weeks and ate six dates daily from 33 weeks, had nettle tea from 37 weeks, did perineal massage from 37 weeks, used primrose evening oil from 36 weeks, used clary sage oil from 37 weeks and raspberry leaf capsules from 38 weeks. Alongside these I tried to walk as much as I could and did curb walking too from 37 weeks. I spend a lot of time sitting on the birthing ball whilst working from home as well as in the evenings. I did exercises to help induce labour and position the baby.

I purchased the PBC when I was about 20 weeks pregnant and started using it at 28 weeks. I found it very helpful and practiced the breathing techniques as well as listening to the relaxation music. I read positive birth stories and watched lots of videos on YouTube, including those of Bridget Tyler.

On Tuesday 30th November (36+6 weeks) at 2:50am I woke up with a period cramp. I waited in bed for about 10 minutes thinking it would just stop, but it did not. I then went toilet to see whether it would help, but no. I stayed in bed; the cramps continued. It was stronger than normal period pains and difficult to manage it because I was laying in bed. I tried different positions, moving around in bed, but it did not help with the pain. I was not able to sleep. I then knew that things were starting and my baby was ready to come.

Around 7/8:00am, I asked my husband to bring my birthing ball from downstairs. I sat on the birthing ball and breathed through each surge. I watched a movie on my laptop. I closed the curtains and the bedroom door to make the room as dark as possible. Around 9am, I went downstairs to have porridge then went back upstairs and sat on my birthing ball.

Between 9:00am to 13:50pm, I did not time my surges as I wanted to concentrate on breathing through them. But I kept an eye to see how often they were coming. By mid-day my surges were every about 10 minutes. At 13:50pm I started to time my surges using the Freya app. I also started using the tens machine; it did not help with the pain but it was a good distraction.

At 16:00pm, we started making our way to the hospital. The car journey was uncomfortable and this was when the surges increased in frequency. Freya said I was in established labour. We got to triage at 16:30pm and I was assessed immediately. At 17:00pm, I was told that I was 5cm and offered a sweep to speed things up which I accepted. I was expecting the sweep to feel uncomfortable or even painful, but I did not feel anything. The sweep went well.

At 17:30pm, I was taken to the birthing centre. My husband left to bring the hospital bag from the car. I was in the room with the midwife who was explaining stuff; I was concentrating on my breathing whilst sitting on the birthing ball and leaning forward on the chair.

At 18:00pm, I got in the pool and was using my up breathing to manage each surge. About 18:45pm, I felt an urge to push. I felt it on my bottom like I needed to poop. I told the midwife but she did not think that I was ready to push. I had this urge three times, with each surge I would pull my knees closer as I was worried that I was not yet 10cm and had a fear of tearing. The midwife first looked with a mirror and later checked again as I was telling her that I still had the same pushy feeling. When she checked the second time, she said that I was 10cm and ready to push. She encouraged me to keep my knees wide open so I could give the baby enough space. She could see the top of baby's head came and with the next surge her head was born. I was waiting for the next surge to breath the baby's body out, but it took a few seconds or maybe a minute before the next surge. The midwife said that I had to help the baby out as the baby could not stay in that position. She guided me and told me to push when she told me to, which I did. My baby girl was then born at 19:04pm. The midwife helped me to lift my baby up. I could not believe that I had given birth and had my baby girl in my arms. It was an indescribable moment.

I wanted to deliver the placenta in the pool, but this was not possible due to me bleeding. I got out of the pool and was given the injection to help deliver the placenta. I did want delayed cord clamping, but this was also not possible. But they did wait for a few minutes.

I did skin to skin whilst delivering the placenta. I had second degree tear and two minor tears (I did not feel it). Whilst I was getting my stitches done, my husband had skin to skin. The midwife was very nice and gentle she explained each step as she was doing my stitches. It felt uncomfortable, not painful.

Once my stitches were done, I had the opportunity to breastfeed my baby. She latched on immediately. She is doing very well. I am very grateful for having a positive birth experience with the help of the PBC.