Birth story - Emily and baby Grayson

Grayson’s Birth Story
For as long as I can remember, childbirth has terrified me so as soon as I was pregnant I knew I needed to overcome my fears. For me, the best way to do this was to be as knowledgeable as possible so I could make informed decisions.  My midwife suggested we try hypnobirthing and I must admit to being cynical at first but decided it was worth a try. I came across the positive birthing company on Instagram and found all of the resources incredibly helpful in understanding hypnobirthing and reducing my own fear and anxiety around childbirth. The positive birth stories were really useful in my preparation- I would read different stories every night to help remind me that birth can and should be a positive experience. I soon found myself becoming excited rather than terrified of birth.

I finished work on the Friday when I was 37 weeks and by the Monday evening I had lower back pain that I put down to being on my feet all day. I went to the gym as normal on Tuesday morning and spent the whole day shopping, again that evening I had backache that felt similar to period pain but thought it was just pregnancy aches and pains.

At 4am Wednesday morning I had my show but when I woke up properly I didn’t have any other pain or symptoms so went about my morning as normal, I met friends for coffee and even had my eyebrows threaded whilst contemplating whether I could squeeze in a gym workout that day. Luckily I made the decision to have an afternoon nap instead and when I woke up I decided I should probably check we had everything ready for the hospital. As I was sorting the bags at 2pm, I felt a pop just before my waters broke.

My husband arrived home at 2:45pm and in that time my surges had quickly progressed- he was greeted by me on all fours on the bathroom floor rocking back and forth.  I was listening to the Freya app throughout this time and found that it kept me calm and focused on my breath. My husband ran me a bath and it was heaven until I had a surge, moved to be on all fours and very quickly vomited everywhere! This was the point that I realised that my surges were becoming more intense and decided to try the tens machine. 

We didn’t get as far as putting the tens machine on as my husband who had been timing my surges, checked and confirmed that they were 3 in 7 minutes so we promptly called the maternity wing.  Given my waters had only broken an hour before, the midwifes weren’t too concerned however they advised us to go in as when asked if I had felt the baby move, I couldn’t be sure. I had been so focused on the pain in my lower back that it hadn’t even crossed my mind to monitor his movements.

We live very close to our hospital (in pregnancy, we joked that I would walk to the hospital whilst in labour) however the 5 minute car journey was tough, I kept having surges and having to sit rather than be on all fours made them a lot more difficult, however I carried on breathing through them and reminded myself that they were not stronger than me.  Another challenge I hadn’t anticipated was walking through the hospital car park and maternity wing in broad daylight. It was about 3:30pm at this point and I was very much aware of the expectant mothers waiting for their various appointments, I willed myself not to have a surge in front of them all and managed to make it to the safety of the lift before the next one came.

On arrival at the maternity wing they put me on a monitor to check baby’s heartbeat. The pain was still centred in my lower back and having to sit back on the hospital bed and remain still mid surges made me question my preferences to not have any pain relief. My husband and the midwifes however were unaware of how I was feeling as I was so focused on my breathing that to them I seemed extremely calm, to the point that the midwifes hadn’t realised I was in labour. It was only when a Doctor came to examine me to check on baby’s heartbeat (me moving during the surges had meant the readings were inaccurate) that she said with surprise I was in established labour and was 9cm dilated. On hearing this, something changed for me with a new focus and determination coming over me now that I knew I would be meeting my baby very soon.

I was very quickly moved to the labour ward where the midwife team were already filling up the pool. I positioned myself on the floor over an exercise ball and continued the rocking back and forth motion. I can’t really remember what was going on around me at this point, as my only focus was on my breathing and enabling my body to do what it needed. I do remember the midwife helping me undress so my baby wasn’t born in my pants!

In between surges I would look up and beg them to let me in the pool- it felt like it was taking forever to fill up and I could tell my their reactions that they were unsure as to whether I would make it into the pool before baby arrived. As soon as I was given the ok, I practically jumped into the birthing pool and it felt amazing. This was the only pain relief I needed as I got back into my all four position, held my husbands hands over the side and breathed through the surges.

My husband offered me encouragement throughout, he reminded me what I was capable of in terms of my gym workouts where I have pushed myself to my limits and kept telling me how well I was doing and how proud he was. He offered to put on the playlists I had pre-selected or to try massage but I didn’t want or need
anything, I just needed to be focused on my breath. He was breathing alongside me and if I ever got distracted or lost focus, he bought my attention back to my breath.

The surges were getting stronger but I kept reminding myself that every surge brought me closer to my baby and this was enforced when the midwifes told me they could see his dark hair swishing in the water. I was so desperate to meet him that on hearing this, a determination came over me and I focused every part of my body on birthing him.

With the encouragement of my husband and the midwifes, I used the down breathing technique and it wasn’t long before I could look down and see my baby’s head. I remember looking back at my husband and keeping focused on him as I pushed under the guidance of the midwife and birthed my baby. It was an incredible almost out of body experience, the pain was intense and the ring of fire is an accurate description but the pain didn’t faze me as hypnobirthing had fully prepared me for what was happening and I knew my body could manage the pain.

My son, Grayson was born at 18:03pm after a four-hour labour with my second stage being only 23 minutes. The midwifes told me to reach down and pick him up, which I did but I couldn’t find him in the water, they assured me he was there and I very quickly pulled him up to my chest. He was completely calm and making no noise as he stared up at me, I was expecting a crying baby but the midwifes assured me that all was ok and he that was very chilled due to my calm birth.  Our golden hour followed where the three of us cuddled on the bed whilst I fed Grayson – it was the most magical time and I am so pleased I knew about the importance of that time prior to giving birth.

Birthing Grayson was one of the most incredible things I have ever done, I am in awe of my body and really do believe that it was through hypnobirthing that I was able to have such a positive experience. I never thought childbirth could be like this and that 7 months later I would still be reflecting back on what a wonderful experience it was.  A big thank you to Siobhan and everyone at the positive birth company for making the resources so easily accessible and allowing me and so many other mums to prepare positively for the births of our babies.