Birth story - DM and baby E

Hi everyone. :)
I can’t believe it’s my turn to write our birth story! I read so many of yours through pregnancy and really helped to keep me positive. I hope my story can help you as well.

A bit of background: I have Polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS), so we were over the moon to discover that we were pregnant. Then, we thought we had a miscarriage, but an early scan confirmed the baby was ok. At 14 weeks, I developed pelvic girdle pain, followed by ribs/back problems that caused pain and limitations until the end of pregnancy. I had to be off work various times, had physiotherapy and also frequent checks for possible obstetric cholestasis. Safe to say that it was not the pregnancy I was expecting to have and made me feel very demotivated for birth and motherhood.

I discovered the positive birth company through a friend when I was around 26 weeks pregnant and struggling with all those pregnancy issues, so I thought I would give it a go as I like positive things. J and I watched the videos in the evenings and found it very empowering. We practiced the relaxation techniques and it was a very nice way to spend time together and build up a team spirit for the big day. I also used a lot of the techniques to cope with the pregnancy itself.

At the end of 36 weeks, our baby was still breech. After trying all sorts of things to help her turn, we had ECV and it worked (we used hypnobirthing techniques here as well and had a very positive experience). Now she was head down, we were ready and hoping we could still have a water birth at a midwife led birth unit.

When things started:
At 38+3, a friend came to visit and I was holding her baby when I started to bleed. I thought it could be a big “blood show”, so I changed clothes and continued with our tea and chat. I was pretty chilled about everything, had mild cramps but that was it. After she left, I rang delivery suite and asked for advice. They told me to go in so they could check.

J was working, so I rang him and asked to go with me as driving didn’t seem a good idea. We took the hospital bags and kept them in the car, just in case. When we got there, a midwife examined me and said the cervix was closed and that I was not in labour, but she could see active bleeding. She told us I would probably have to stay overnight for monitoring. Soon after, one of the doctors came to see us and explained that the bleeding was a sign of partial placental abruption and although the baby was not showing any signs of stress at that time, induction would be the safest option for both. She read my birth wishes (Wow!!) and said that I could still do and use a lot of what I had written down. We used BRAIN, discussed all options and accepted to go with induction. I felt quite sad as it meant I couldn’t use the birth pool and didn’t really want an induction, but I accepted and thought “I can only do my best to make it a positive experience for the 3 of us” (I had J with me, battery candles and music, so that would work its magic!).

A couple of hours after, I was transferred to a ward and J went home. I knew I wouldn’t be able to sleep, so I asked the midwife to start the 24h pessary as soon as possible. After monitoring the baby and doing all the checks, I finally had the pessary inserted at 04:30am. During the day I started to have frequent cramps and walked around the hospital with J, sat on my exercise ball, practiced up-breathing, kept moving and resting as I could. Later on, I tried the TENS machine and found it helpful.

Overnight, the midwife took the pessary out and I was pleased to know I was 1-2 cm dilated and the next step would be going to delivery suite to break the waters and start that famous “drip”.

During the day, I still had frequent cramps and was excited that my body was doing the job, but then they stopped towards the evening. I tried not to feel disheartened. “Things will happen at the right time”, I thought. The hospital was extremely busy, so there was no space on delivery suite. Through the next 4 days, we went for walks, ate our special labour snacks, chatted with other people, reviewed some of the hypnobirthing videos and listened to happy songs trying to keep our sanity. I was starting to feel frustrated and tired as I was sleeping 1-2 hours a night. Also, our families didn’t know we were there (we preferred that way).

Finally, on the following Tuesday (5 days after admission), we were transferred to the delivery suite. I was still 2cm dilated, so the midwife broke the waters (I used upbreathing) and started the medication at 1pm. I didn’t realise I couldn’t eat while being induced, only drink clear fluids, so I had a light lunch before starting (good job we ate practically all of our labour snacks the days before! eheh). 2 hours later, I was having regular surges and was in established labour. My TENS machine was on and running. They didn’t have wireless monitors available, so I had quite a bit of equipment around, but I kept myself upright and sat on my exercise ball with arms over the bed for majority of labour. The room was very warm, so I had just a top, underwear and my trainers on (shame I don’t have a photo of that. lol). I like to run, so having my trainers on meant a lot! J was very good to change the environment: low lights, our music and battery candles. He kept offering the lavender oil and spray as if they were medicines! :D Just having him there made the whole difference! He was offering drinks with a straw, stroking my arms, kissing me and asking if he could do anything to help.

The medical team came to introduce themselves and talk about analgesia options. Between breathings, I told them I didn’t want to be stuck in bed and wanted to keep as mobile as possible, so I would ask for analgesia if I needed. Some looked at me like “What the hell is she up to?”, but I didn’t care.

The surges became stronger and more frequent as they increased the medication. I tried the gas and air, but that made me feel so sick that I vomited through the rest of labour. The midwife said the baby was showing signs of distress with contractions (here we go), so I had to lay down in bed to see if we could get better readings. That was not a nice position to be, so I got out of it as soon as I could. The medical team came to the room, lights on and a good number of people talking. I closed my eyes, smiled and ignored the change of environment. I had an injection to slow down the contractions, they took blood samples from our baby’s head and said I could need an emergency c-section if she was in trouble (here we go again. lol).

The results came back very quickly and it showed that she was fine. I was 8cm dilated by then and kept my upbreathing, eyes closed and smile on. I felt very calm and kept telling myself “we are fine” and that “no matter what happens, labour has an end”. They put a clip on the baby’s head for better monitoring, so I kept my UFO position afterwards. Once they increased the medication, the contractions were very frequent and out of order. My whole body was shaking and it was hard to continue with upbreathing as there was not much gap between them. The midwife said they had to increase the medication again and I started to lose my mind a bit. I said I was very fed up and couldn’t do it anymore. I was too tired and they felt like “fake surges”, not natural to my body. I remember thinking “Transition”, so I asked if the midwife could check how dilated I was. She said they would check only in 2 hours (stupid guidelines), so I said I wanted something to calm my body down until then, but didn’t want to feel sick or drowsy.

After speaking with the anaesthetist, I agreed with an epidural. It was very straightforward to set up, they gave only one dose of the meds and my body calmed down. I wasn’t shaking anymore and I was back on my smiley/chatty mode. I could still feel my legs and surges, so I was back on my “positive mode”. My favourite part was when the midwife checked me and said “You clever body, you know what I’m going to say, don’t you?”. I was 10cm dilated and ready to get the baby out! I was so pleased, I turned to my left side, peanut ball supporting my legs and started to follow the surges to get the baby out. Then, I turned to my back because my left leg was bothering. She encouraged me to push and I did follow some of that (but here between us, I did Siobhan’s down breathing as well. lol). I touched the baby’s head and that’s when things felt more real! It was only J, the midwife and I in the room. We had our music on in the background and the lights were down. 45 minutes after, the baby was out! I was so proud of myself and J. We did it and as a team and now we were a family of 3. I just felt sorry for all the times he offered to hug me and I refused because I was feeling sick and his aftershave (that I usually love) wasn’t helping. lol. J cut the cord a while after and had skin to skin time with our baby after me.

I had an injection to help deliver the placenta due to risk of bleeding but it didn’t work. They planned to take me to theatre to remove it, but luckily 2 hours after, they managed to take it out in pieces. I had a couple of stitches for a 1st degree tear and after, the famous tea and toast I was very ready for!

It was a very positive experience to me! My best tools were the upbreathing, low lights and my birth partner. I didn’t feel scared, I felt calm and positive and definitely believe that the baby followed that. We don’t know what we are capable of doing until we actually do it! ;) Thank you Siobhan for the hypnobirthing course, changing views around birth and empowering us all! Made a huge difference to me! 🤱🥰