Birth story - Dani and baby boy

*Trigger Warning* - use of the word contraction, fear, tears, stitches

First Birth

My daughter was born in Canada under midwifery care. With her birth, I knew so little. At 39+5 I had accepted a sweep and had PROMS that same day, but labour never started. I was strep B positive so I was induced 24 hours later. I laboured naturally on Pitocin for 4 hours and eventually begged for an epidural. After a good night's sleep, I was ready to push and delivered our daughter a short time after. I wouldn't say it was a negative experience but I knew that the next time I wanted to be more active in helping my child be born and I didn't want to be induced.

Fast forward to 2021

We had moved to Israel where my husband is from (I’m Canadian) and I had a lot of fear surrounding pregnancy and birth here. Not only do I not speak Hebrew very well, but pregnancy and birth are heavily medicalized, and there is no public midwifery care and no continuity of care at all. Prior to even getting pregnant I reached out to a Canadian Midwife who is a practicing doula in Israel to ensure she didn't have plans on leaving the country- as the option of having her accompany me through this journey was the only way I was prepared to do it.

The Pregnancy

It took us longer than expected to get pregnant the second time but by summer 2021 it happened. This pregnancy was physically harder but unlike my first pregnancy I didn't have gestational diabetes and I was strep B negative. I saw an OB for big checks and random pregnancy nurses for monthly checks.

Creating my own Continuity of Care

I didn’t look forward to my prenatal appointments like I had in Canada so, I created my own bubble of support and continuity of care with my Canadian doula/midwife, my therapist (who helps me with anxiety), and an acupuncturist. These three women became the care providers that mattered most to me as I maneuvered through the heavily medicalized and fractured pregnancy and birth system that operates here.

40 Weeks

This time, I did everything I could to ensure I would go into labour naturally. I never want to eat another date in my life! But 40 weeks came and went and I wobbled quite a bit. But my birth team kept me on track and hopeful. Week 40+5 we went in for monitoring with yet another random doctor. There wasn't enough variation in his heartbeat so she sent us to the hospital for long monitoring.

I thought, “this is it, they're going to scare me into inducing”. I had a lot of fear surrounding the doctors and nurses, at the hospital. We went home, had lunch, and I went to my acupuncture appointment that was already scheduled for that day. She calmed me down so much and reminded me that my body is built for birth, that no one could force me to do anything, and that my baby would come when he was ready.

After this beautiful acupuncture session, we headed to the hospital. And to my surprise, everyone was so nice, calm, and patient. The heartbeat was totally fine, and a doctor came to check everything and offered me a sweep - but was so very accepting and encouraging when I declined.

I truly believe that this positive hospital visit allowed me to let go of my fear of the hospital staff, relax and open myself up to labour.

Labour

The following day (40+6) I relaxed. I did some pumping and got some oxytocin flowing with my husband. That evening, at dinner, I started to get some mild contractions. And this was the first time I didn't have to wonder if they were Braxtons - I knew they weren't.

My husband put our daughter to bed and then they started to ramp up. They were about 15 minutes apart and totally manageable. I laboured all night and even managed to get some sleep. They spaced out in the morning, but the literal second my daughter left the house for kindergarten I got a big one.

I was so happy that it was happening! My husband and I ate yummy food, watched a bit of The Office, and went for a short walk. But they weren't very consistent and weren't getting closer together. Our doula came to check on me and the baby and gave us some spinning babies techniques to try and new positions to use. I wanted a VE to know where we were at. I was 2-3 cm dilated and about 60% effaced. I was over the moon with my progress and knew things could move along very quickly from there.

The new positions were working and I decided it was time to try the TENS. It was magical.

Our doula was only gone for a couple of hours when they started coming in thick and fast. So we all decided it was time to head into the hospital.

When we arrived, I was wheeled right into the triage monitoring room. I was checked again and I hadn't progressed much but I knew this was only because of the car ride and change of environment. The natural birth room was free and the doctor cleared me to enter, my dream birth was unfolding and I was crying tears of immense joy. The nurse wasn't happy with my progression and wanted to wait until I was at least 4cm to enter the room. I didn't even care at the time. I was in labour land and knew I would be in the birth pool soon.

Then something changed.

I started feeling immense pressure when I should be having a break. I asked for a VE and was allowed in the natural birth room. I cried happy tears again. I couldn't believe it was happening.

I got in the tub as soon as I could and it was the most glorious relief. I was so happy and calm and was surrounded by my doula, a private midwife assigned to that room only, and my wonderful husband who was a fantastic birth partner- remembering to bring me back to green, helping me fully relax my body, and counting me through upbreathing.

Then things got real and something changed again. Shortly after being in the pool, I got the urge to push. I knew it was too soon but my body was pushing on its own. My team wasn't too concerned as I was a second-time mom, but I still had some cervix left. My waters broke, which gave me a moment of relief but then things became really intense again.

I wasn't fully dilated but my body was pushing. Our very experienced midwife (who didn't speak English) asked if she could help me by stretching the cervix during a contraction. I consented, but oh my holy hell - I was not prepared for that. It was so intense and for the first time, I screamed and lost total control.

They knew that it was too much for me and stopped.

I was gently encouraged to get out of the pool to try new positions. I now know (after a debrief with my doula) that they thought baby was in a not great position and I needed to move around to help him get better positioned.

I tried on my hands and knees, on my back, and on a birth stool. Things were intense and I felt out of control. Green was a thing of the past - I was lucky to come back to orange.

I was losing hope and feeling panicked when in walked a new midwife as there was a shift change. Her name was Aviva and she spoke a bit of English. I remember she wore a lot of perfume and I was shocked by this, almost annoyed even in the throes of labour. But she looked at me with the most confident eyes I had ever seen and she said, "We are going to get this baby out together."

Aviva’s fresh energy, determination, and hope were what we all needed.

She had me lie on my back on the bed and we started coached-pushing. This was not on my “birth plan” but I knew this was what was needed to get my baby out safely.

Around this time someone in scrubs came in the room and stood at the door watching. I questioned who this was and my doula said it was a doctor who was there to make sure everything was ok.

I remember thinking, “that's it, the jig is up. They're going to take me out of here and intervene.” But I was so exhausted at this point I was ready to surrender to whatever would end the experience I was having.

But then, that doctor came over and watched me push, then she came to my bedside, leaned over, grabbed my hand, and told me I was perfect.

So there I was, on my back, experiencing pain that I didn't even think was possible. And I had a cheer squad surrounding me telling me how amazing I was, how powerful I was pushing, and how perfect I was. The first midwife even stuck around to see it through. I started to channel my fear and panic into pushing and moved my screams into a lower register. I had purpose and intent again.

Then finally, at 11:11pm with one mighty push, he was out and it was over. There he was, 4 kilos of perfection lying on my chest. And that's when my doula pointed to his head and said "he was asynclitic (asynclitic birth refers to the position of a fetus in the uterus such that the head of the baby is presenting first and is tilted to the shoulder, causing the fetal head to no longer be in line with the birth canal). That’s why I got the urge to push early, and that's why I wasn't dilating, and that is why it was hard to push him out.

But I did it. With the help and support of my incredible birth team/cheer squad.

We technically had a golden hour but I think I was in a state of shock. The placenta wasn't coming on its own so they gave me a shot of Pitocin which I was fine with. It eventually came with some pushing and some help from a doctor pressing it out. I had a few 1st-degree tears in complex places that didn't take to the local anesthetic. This was the hardest part of the whole labour and birth experience but my doula was amazing and we got through it.

Although I had some initial emotional trauma from the pushing phase and suturing, this was a beautiful, positive, and totally empowering birth experience.

None...and I mean none of my fears came to fruition. The staff was amazing and supportive, the language barrier wasn't an issue and the drive to the hospital was easy.

So much of how this birth unfolded is thanks to the Positive Birth Company. I learned so much and had the tools I needed to surf the waves and make sound decisions that were best for me and my baby.