Birth story - Charlotte and baby Niven

Trigger warnings: Mention of reduced movements, big/small baby from measurements (baby perfect size for my body!), Bells Palsy which was brought on by pregnancy, contractions stopped after head came out, 2nd degree tear (no way near as bad as I thought it would be!) and small breathing issues when born, but sorted swiftly.

We found out we were pregnant very early on due to some issues conceiving, he is our little miracle boy! I read the Positive Birth Book by Milli Hill very early on and became obsessed with having the most positive pregnancy, birth and parenting experience possible. I contacted a friend of mine who is actually a Doula who recommended the Positive Birth Company for hypnobirthing as we live quite far apart and unfortunately Covid didn’t allow any face to face hypnobirthing sessions. The best money I have spent!! Thank you Siobhan! My husband and I started the digital pack at around 12 weeks, watching a few videos every other night or so and talking about it a lot in between. Tom didn’t think he would get into it at all but actually found it very interesting and has mentioned to dads-to-be how it made him feel a lot more involved in the pregnancy and birth.

My pregnancy was very straight forward and I am so lucky that I didn’t have any morning sickness. I began feeling movements quite early on and tried to find a pattern, however baby didn’t want to conform apart from I always felt some movement when I was in bed. Both myself and my husband would get into bed every night excited to feel the baby move and on one occasion had an anxious wait which resulted in us visiting the hospital to get baby checked. Baby was totally fine and of course began kicking as soon as I was waiting to have the heartbeat listened to! In the third trimester my bump was measured and there were concerns that baby was plotting above the 90th percentile, which again resulted in a scan and revealed baby was a perfect size. A few weeks later after being measured again baby was plotting very small, so I was booked in for another scan – again, baby was absolutely perfect!

At 36 weeks I woke up and brushed my teeth and noticed that I was dribbling a lot and my mouth felt very odd. I quickly realised something was not right and I called labour ward who directed me straight to A&E. I looked like I was having a stroke, but I knew that I was totally with it and I could lift my arms. My husband immediately came home from work to take me to A&E and I was quickly diagnosed with Bells Palsy and given steroids for 9 days. As a precaution I was also send to labour ward to have the baby checked over.

At 38 weeks I had to be signed off by a consultant due to the Bells Palsy in order to use the MLU and I mentioned that I thought I had had some odd discharge. The consultant asked me to do a swab as she wanted to check it wasn’t strep b. In hindsight I think this was my mucus plug as two days later it was D-day.

Labour 👶🏼😃💙

On the Saturday night we went out for dinner with friends and rolled into bed at 1.30am on Sunday 30th August morning. Towards the end of pregnancy I was going to bed around 8.30pm, so it was unusual for me to be so full of energy, but I put it down to the mocktails and laughs! I was definitely doing the right thing to get my endorphins flowing that night. I couldn’t settle in bed and kept getting up to go to the loo. At 4am I remember looking at the time and telling myself I needed to get some sleep! After feeling myself drift off I woke quite suddenly with a sensation in my tummy. I looked at the time and it was 5am. I thought it was odd but wondered if something I had eaten had upset my tummy, so I closed my eyes to go back to sleep and I felt another….something! I had around 4 sensations in my tummy and decided I couldn’t settle, so got up and went to bounce on my ball downstairs to allow my husband to sleep. I managed around 1 minute of Will and Grace before another one came so I decided to start timing them on the Freya app, although I still wasn’t convinced anything was really happening and it could have been my dinner from the night before.

After 15 minutes Freya quickly told me I was in established labour, which I couldn’t believe. From everything I have learned first time labours start off like period pains and then increase and often stop, however these were not stopping and were more than just period pains, however I felt in total control and breathed through them. Roll on to 7.30am I realised that this was a little more than ‘something I ate’ and went upstairs to wake my husband to put my TENs machine on. If you are in debate on whether to get one definitely go for it, it was absolutely amazing! I text my parents to let them know that something could be happening as they were coming from Nottingham to look after our dogs. My mum was super excited and called straight away asking what was going on. I explained I expected things to stop at some stage as it was my first baby and she asked if they were every 30 mins or so and I said… ummmmm every 2 mins lasting for 1 min 30 secs! She told me to call Bluebell to get some advice, but I was very happy labouring at home, so I called but said I was happy to stay at home.

At around 10am I decided I thought we should go in and get checked out as my mum was itching to come over and the drive is around an hour. Unfortunately, due to Covid, my husband wasn’t allowed in with me, so off I went on my own to get checked out. My obs were taken and I mentioned that I felt my surges had calmed down – I did also say it could be a dodgy tummy from the food, but she reassured me that I was definitely in labour! The midwife said she felt that I was coping really well so she was happy for me to go home without being examined, but I asked for her to check me over just so I knew if I was telling my parents to stay home for much longer. She asked me to hop on the bed and began the examination, after a few minutes she asked me to put my fists under my bum to lift my hips. I kept thinking that she couldn’t even find the cervix, but to my astonishment she said I was 5cm and it was go time! I called my husband who had nipped home (2 mins in the car) to check on the dogs with a list of snacks and drinks to get from the garage on the way back.

We were checked into a lovely birthing room, the largest on Bluebell as there was only one other person in the unit. Tom quickly set up our candles and Freya was still running and helping me through my breathing with every surge along with the TENs machine and I spread my Little Pack of Positivity out on some chairs so I could read at leisure!

At around 2.30pm I got in the birth pool, which was lovely! I floated around and Tom rubbed my back through every surge. At this stage I left the breathing technique playing on Freya as I was unable to hit the surge button. The surges were getting more powerful, but I was totally in control and Tom was by my side the whole time. I had added to my birth notes that I didn’t want to be offered any pain relief, which was adhered to the whole way through. At around 4ish Tom asked if I was still comfortable and if I wanted anything else. I had totally forgotten about gas and air so asked for that… it was AMAZING! There are some amazing photos of me looking extremely pleased with myself!

At 6ish the midwife said she wanted to see something happening as I was just breathing through everything and felt I needed to give it a little more welly! I accepted another examination, so got out of the water. I was 9.5cm dilated, but my waters still hadn’t gone. I had said I didn’t want my waters broken but the midwife explained that if they didn’t go I would need to be transferred to labour ward, so I allowed my waters to be broken. I hadn’t realised how much pressure there was until it was released with my waters! Around this time I really needed the loo and the gas and air didn’t reach into the toilet, so my poor husband had to come with me and rub my back for 45 mins… It was the worst tummy I have ever had… poor Tom!!! 💩😱🙈

At 8pm the midwives changed over and a student midwife came along, which I was ok with as I thought she would just sit in the corner, however she was more hands on and kept struggling to locate the baby’s heartbeat. This really stressed my husband out, whereas I just knew that the baby was totally fine. In hindsight I wish I had refused the student as it was too much for Tom watching me go through each surge and then watching the student midwife fumble round trying to find the heartbeat.

I tried the down breathing in the pool but struggled to get the hang of it with the surges, so I tried pushing a couple of times. I really didn’t like the sensation so decided to just breathe through the surges hoping that my body would just suddenly push the baby out, but it didn’t happen unfortunately! I carried on in the pool until around 10.30pm when I got out to try labouring on the cushions.

Again I really didn’t like the pushing sensation so definitely went into it half-heartedly, which the midwife definitely noticed as she wrote in my notes I only started pushing at 11.30pm! 🤣 I asked to be coached through the next few surges as I wanted to meet our baby really soon! The midwife did an examination at 11.30pm and said the head was right there and with the next surge to push against her fingers, which I did and made so much progress. She said to do the same push with the next surge but I really struggled so asked her to put her fingers back on the baby’s head so I could push against them. After a few go’s I got it and did a couple of really good pushes. The midwife mentioned that although she wasn’t worried the baby’s heartbeat dropped slightly and even though it was within the normal range she would keep an eye on it. I remember thinking ‘I am absolutely not having this, this baby is coming out right now!’ and with two pushes his head came out!

I said to the midwife that I felt my surges had stopped, but she said that one would come… roll on a few mins later and still nothing, so she lifted my leg and I gave a big push and he was welcomed to the world at 11.54pm and placed straight on my chest. He had a little bit of mucus on his chest so the midwife wanted to take him and clear it on a heat pad, so I told my husband to go with ‘the baby’ and he announced we had a little boy (total shock as both myself and husband as well as all family and friends thought we were having a girl, people even bought us pink clothes as they were so convinced!!!) I did make him double check as I couldn’t believe it!

At this point my husband and the midwife ganged up on me and told me it was time for the Freya app to be switched off as the breathing was driving them stir crazy. It was playing for 811 mins + 58 seconds!

Unfortunately I did have a 2nd degree tear which was stitched up while I puffed away on the gas and air (they also gave me a local anaesthetic) I think this happened when my surges stopped and I had to birth his body without my body backing me. Once I was all sorted the midwife asked if I was still in pain as I was still going on the gas and air, but I was just enjoying myself!

I honestly absolutely loved my birth; I know that sounds crazy! I was so in control and it went pretty well to my birth preferences (although I had written 3 sets of preferences in case of needing intervention or needing a c-section!). I am so grateful as I know I was super lucky that we didn’t have any surprises during the birth, but I do believe that my positivity and calmness helped keep us on track at all times. A huge thank you to the Positive Birth Company for all the tools we needed to have the most positive experience! I have recommended the Positive Birth Company to all of my pregnant friends and hope that my story will help some mummy’s to be feel excited and prepared for their births. However you birth your beautiful baby into the world you are an absolute warrior. You got this Mamas!!! 👸🏽👶🏼💗💙💪🏽