Birth story - Bethany and baby Florence

*Trigger warning*: Use of mention of spinal block, pregnancy after loss feelings, anxiety, previous miscarriage and lockdown.

When I found out I was having a c-section, I came straight on here to read positive birth stories which reassured me so much. I’m hoping mine could do the same for somebody else.

Just a little bit of background to our story and journey. We had our first daughter back in 2015 and had an extremely chilled, straight forward and relatively simple pregnancy and birth. I was only 19 and completely naive to it all but absolutely adored the vaginal delivery of our little girl. I felt so empowered, strong and proud. I have always looked back at the birth as such an amazing experience, despite my lack of knowledge and have always said that it was almost magical.

Fast forward to to 2019 and we then began trying to conceive once again. We fell pregnant February 2020 and were over the moon. However in May 2020 we lived our worst nightmare and discovered we had a missed miscarriage of our twins. This was all in the middle of the first lockdown and hospital restrictions were tight. I had to make all the decisions, go in for scans, surgery, consultations and was readmitted with suspected sepsis completely alone. This was tough as my husband was then never fully aware of what I went through and didn’t experience the loss the same, meaning dealing with this all after was extremely tough for us both.

Two days before the twins due date, we were lucky enough to find out we were pregnant again. This brought all sorts of emotions and we almost didn’t want to get excited in fear of losing this precious one too. After lots and lots of private scans, trusting my body and focusing on the patterns of movement of baby, at about 28 weeks I felt in a place where I could start thinking about the delivery. Despite my daily anxieties of something going wrong, the delivery of baby was something I could feel positive about due to the amazing birth of our daughter.

I found PBC and soon fell in love with the breathing techniques, positive affirmations and trusting your body that PBC brings. The science and knowledge empowered me and I soon began to feel excited for the birth with the belief that I would be amazing, my body could do this and I could do this.

Pregnancy was not an easy time for me with anxiety running high and constant fear. However, I tried to remain positive throughout. Towards the end of our pregnancy, we had to have a few extra growth scans as little ones weight was fluctuating a lot. At 38+1 we found out that she had turned last minute from being head down and engaged to now in a breech position. I was given three choices and using BRAIN I was able to make the decision to have a planned c-section. We were booked in for the week after at 39+3.

I was gutted that I would not be able to have the birth I had envisaged and couldn’t help feeling that all the PBC tutorials I had done, the knowledge I had gained and techniques practised would go to waste. However, looking back, I would not have remained so positive about having a caesarean if I hadn’t have completed PBC. I was determined to go into the delivery with a positive, optimistic outlook in order to have a brilliant birth experience.

After talks with midwives and my own research, I opted for the clear screen to be as in control and as aware as possible. I was surprised to hear that it was the first time the midwife had seen it used in over a year! I also highlighted that I would like delayed cord clamping as immediate skin to skin (I was originally told skin to skin may not happen due to glowing in theatre).

We arrived at the hospital at 8am, filled in paperwork, completed lateral flow tests and were told we would be first to theatre. My husband was allowed with me for the whole time which was amazing and something I had been desperate for after last year’s experience. We got scrubbed up and the excitement kicked in that we were going to be meeting our little one. We went down to theatre at around 10am, were introduced to all theatre staff by name and role which was lovely, discussed my birth preferences and began the process.

I used the breathing techniques I had practised when the spinal block was being administered then I was moved onto the theatre bed for the birth. It all happened EXTREMELY fast. The first incision was made at 10:31am… our beautiful rainbow girl, Florence Elsie was born at 10:37am.

The clear screen enabled me to see her arrive, she was then placed on my legs for skin to skin whilst they allowed for delayed cord clamping before giving her a quick check then placing her on my chest for skin to skin for as long as I wanted whilst they stitched me back up.

When I was ready they then took Florence off for some checks and to weigh her. A midwife took my phone and took photos of our faces capturing the moments whilst an anaesthetic assistant took my husbands phone and photographed from the other side of the screen to capture the birth. These photos are now so precious.

The whole experience really was magic and not at all how I imagined. Although it wasn’t the birth I had originally planned, I knew all that mattered was that baby arrived here safely.

After my constant worrying that something would go wrong during pregnancy, PBC helped me find the positivity, strength and courage through every moment of birth. I will never be able to thank you enough for that.