Birth story - Beth and baby girl

*Trigger Warning* - word contractions, mention of previous long labour, mention of previous miscarriages.

After a very long & pretty traumatic 32 hour induction with my first child, at 39 weeks, I was adamant I would go natural with my daughter unless it was medically necessary to induce me.

For about a week I’d been having signs of being in the early stages of labour, it was becoming so difficult with a toddler to be so overdue (in the peak of summer too!) and after declining induction multiple times (I’d had a few episodes of reduced movements and on the most recent occasion she had taken a long time to reach criteria on the machine etc) and being our rainbow baby after 3 losses we decided for my mental health we just needed her out with us, despite the fact I was so against induction, so we agreed at 41 weeks.

I went in alone on 30th at 9pm, prepared for another long labour but doing everything I could to stay calm. I immediately made my section of the shared room as cosy as possible, I asked to be by the window when they tried to put me near the door as I knew that would help me from feeling as anxious and claustrophobic. I got into my pj’s straight away and put on a series on Netflix on my laptop with some snacks. With my son from the second I entered hospital I was an anxious mess and I wanted to avoid that at all costs this time as I knew it will have contributed to the long labour.

My induction process began by being put on the monitors and they were picking up my braxton hicks, the midwife was suspicious that they could be contractions due to them being regular but as they weren’t hurting me we went ahead with the pessary. My cervix has made no progress since my sweep a week prior but I managed to maintain that level of calm I had tried hard to create.

Around 2 or 3 hours later my waters went, nothing major like you see in the films, just a constant trickle of fluid so I was moved straight to delivery. I was checked again and my cervix was still the same but my waters breaking had gave me hope that things would be quicker this time so I think the level of excitement kept me from being disheartened.

I asked if we could wait a couple hours before starting the hormone drip to see if my body progressed itself but the midwife said the doctor was really keen on getting it going due to me having strep B and being post-dates. This is the only time I wish I’d been a bit stronger and asked for the pro’s and cons but having strep B was already something that had worried me during my pregnancy so I went ahead with it and my boyfriend was allowed to come.

The drip was inserted at around 6am, I had always said after my sons labour that if I ever had to go on the hormone drip again I’d have the epidural administered at the same time, however something just told me to try without it.

Within an hour the contractions had began and they came thick and fast just like last time. Unfortunately all of the wireless monitoring devices were being used so I was told I couldn’t walk around. the contractions were too intense to be on the bed and I really wanted to stay upright so I refused to move from the birthing ball despite the fact it was making it a nightmare for the midwife as she kept having to reposition my monitors due to me bouncing

The contractions were every 2 mins and they were super intense, so much so that the midwife kept having to turn the drip down, I was totally in the zone though using up breathing and my partner was constantly reminding me to keep my shoulders relaxed and during the short time we had between contractions he was amazing at getting me laughing/keeping me in that orange/green zone and not letting me get to red.

By 11am I decided to try gas and air as I was still only 2cm. The gas and air took the edge off a bit by by 12pm the contractions were majorly intense so I asked the midwife for half a dose of diamorphine. I wanted something stronger than the gas but I was terrified of feeling out of it. The diamorphine made me feel amazing during contractions but did nothing for the pain, I considered an epidural at this point but as soon as the contraction would stop I’d feel calm and I knew I could do it without.

At 1.30 I started to change, I went into panic, it suddenly all felt too much for me and I felt like I couldn’t do it. I was begging for an epidural and I started to lose control/shout/not focus on my breathing and lose it, the midwife asked to examine me again as she thought I was transitioning.

I was 4cm at 1.40.

I was stood up holding on to my partner and I could no longer talk in the short gap between the contractions, the pressure was too intense and as I said, I felt I’d lost control and all of my calm.

My midwife was watching me and at around 2 she said she could tell I was pushing. I didn’t think I was as I’d only had the experience with my son where I had an epidural and had a completely unnatural forced pushing stage. She asked me to lie on the bed but I refused so instead she asked me to get on all fours on the bed, even this seemed too much but I managed to kneel up on the bed and hold on the back of the bed for support.

My midwife told me to go with whatever my body was doing and to not be afraid, she said she didn’t need to tell me what to do as my body was doing it. 40 mins after being told I was 4cm and 4 minutes after getting on to the bed and allowing my body to push down itself, at 2.33pm, my baby girl was delivered and was in my arms.

It was the most surreal experience and I am so so proud of myself. It really shows the difference staying calm/upright etc can make to your labour… induction or no induction.