Birth story - Antonia and baby Freya

My partner, Sean & I, had IVF to conceive due to my ‘unexplained infertility’ so a bit of a journey to even get pregnant, when the test came back positive we were beyond over the moon!

As part of coping with IVF I found an additional support network via social media and listening to podcasts such as Big Fat Negative, through this I was ‘matched’ with other people in my situation giving me an online friend at a very similar stage in IVF.

In turn the social media/podcasts led to me learning about hypnobirthing and Positive Birthing Company. Initially I just followed on Instagram but then purchased the online better birthing pack and the book practical ways to make your birth better at around 20 weeks pregnant.

I watched it on my own and cherry picked the ones I thought Sean should watch - the one about understanding hypnobirthing was really good, to understand what it is....i.e not being hypnotised!!

I prefer reading so read the book as well and the important things I took from the course was trusting my body and that whatever happened it would be to meet my baby. I also downloaded the app...it felt like it was meant to be as we had already chosen Freya as our baby’s name!!

As most first timers I was anxious about knowing how I would ‘know’ I was in labour and if I would cope. After completing the PBC course and attending pregnancy yoga courses I felt informed and had a number of physical & mental tools and tricks. I completed my birth preferences...they were actually fairly vague as I really felt that having a fixed plan would bring more stress if I couldn’t undertake it. I set out what I wanted ‘in an ideal world’ which was gas & air and labouring in the pool but to get out for the final stages but always being UFO! I wanted to birth on the Midwifery Led Birthing Unit (MLBU) and had visited it earlier in my pregnancy so I knew the route & what to expect - I’d definitely recommend doing that.

Originally I was planning on both Sean & my Sister being with me but then COVID19 hit! This made me incredibly stressed and I was anxious as I knew any hospital visit brought an element of risk but I knew I was going to have to go. I self isolated for 3 weeks but had to attend hospital for a growth scan and Sean wasn’t allowed to come with me. I was scared of any intervention as Sean couldn’t be with me for that either. I also knew the longer she took to arrive the worse the NHS would be impacted This made me pretty impatient for her arrival and I convinced myself everyday for about 2 weeks before that twinge or feeling meant things were starting! I had pretty strong and regular Braxton Hicks.

On the day before I went into labour (02/04/2020) I’d been for a walk on the beach (I live 600m from the beach!) and cooked a horribly spicy dish...it was pretty unbearable but I was at the stage where I was ready to try the old wives tales! I’d had some stronger tensioning during the day and a slight tinge of blood but not a full show.

I woke up at 00:30 on 03/04/2020 and needed the toilet badly...initially I put it down to the spicy food but after the 5th poo I concluded something else as I was also having surges! I wasn’t totally sure to start with and assumed things would take quite a while so I got my birthing ball and started using Freya app to time them. Things were pretty uncomfortable really quickly and according to my timings surges were already 3-4 minutes apart. I used the counted breathing in for 3 out for 6 as I was no good with the 4-8 count. At this point knowledge was power and knowing each surge would be approximately 45-60 seconds really helped get through it.

Around 01:45 the app told me I appeared to be in active labour and I woke Sean & called MLBU who said to come in to be checked and they asked if we had any COVID19 symptoms. We live a reasonable distance from the hospital and the 35 minute drive was agony as I was strapped into a sitting position, I had a TENS machine on which was helping but the road felt like it was made of cobbles during surges!

We arrived just after 03:00 and were taken into a private birthing room and I was examined and to my relief was 7cm dilated! I was bleeding a little but the Midwife thought this was because I’d got to this stage quickly. She also said my waters had not yet broken and baby was still in her sac.

She filled the birthing pool and I took off the TENS machine & got in. To start with I was moving around between surges but once they got closer & more intense I stayed on my knees with my head resting on the side....Sean was right there holding the gas & air for me. I didn’t really like the way it made me feel if I had too much but it gave really good focus for breathing and took the edge off. I’d stopped using the app (as I was in a pool!) but tried to continue with focussed breathing. Sean and the midwife reminded me to relax my shoulders too.

At some point my midwife said she thought it was likely I’d give birth within half an hour and asked if I wanted to get out or not? I decided that I was happy in the pool so stayed put! The change in labour phases was hard and there was lots of mooing noises from me with occasional ‘I can’t do this’ but my midwife was amazing and talked me through every step. The final surges were so intense and painful and the feeling of wanting to push but needing to pant/breath through was something you can’t really describe! The midwife said she could see her eyebrows then her nose and one more surge and I had to lift her up through my legs from the water at 05:57!! So only 5 and a half hours since I woke up.

She was here and perfect! I got out of the pool holding my daughter and had the injection to deliver the placenta. I had a small first degree tear which was stitched up later. We remained in that room for about 9 hours while stitches, checks, paperwork & most importantly tea & toast was sorted and left at 15:00 the same day.

My experience was incredibly positive and I feel very lucky to have had everything I wanted...most importantly our baby Freya arriving safely & healthy. The care from the team was fantastic and we had minimal exposure to staff (2 midwives, 1 person doing observations & 2 staff with catering). Everything took longer for the staff due to PPE but we’re beyond grateful for the care we received in these strange times and we’ve been home 10 days with no symptoms.

I’ve since bought the Positive Birth Company postpartum pack and am working my way though that! In these times where there are no drop in sessions, support groups and midwife visits are being scaled right back I am once again finding support from online resources...along with friends and family who are meeting Freya via video chats. Thank you for reading my story.