Birth story - Annabel and baby girl

One of my great friends told me about the Positive Birth Company at around week 20 of my pregnancy, and I immediately looked into the online course and started following the Instagram feed. I found the Instagram feed really helpful and enjoyed participating in the stories, polls and seeing the positive affirmation posts. It’s worth noting that I’m from Surrey in the UK but currently living in Sydney, Australia – in case there are any noticeable differences in my story from the NHS/having my baby in the UK.

My pregnancy was a bit of a rollercoaster with some high heart rates, carpal tunnel, back pain, reflux and generally feeling colossal! I had very mixed emotions throughout the whole pregnancy, as well as some perinatal anxiety, but was overall very excited and ready to be a Mum. From the beginning of my third trimester my baby was showing as breech on my ultrasounds with my Obstetrician. At around Week 34, my Obstetrician mentioned that a c-section might be the best option for me if baby didn’t spin. She explained this really clearly to me as being due to a variety of factors including me being a first time Mum, my anxiety, my BMI (technically obese) and her many years of experience. I’m so glad she mentioned this at Week 34, as it allowed my husband and I time to research and digest this information and use our BRAINs to come to terms with this.

I was disappointed, as I’d always wanted to have a vaginal birth and knew I could do it. I felt confident in myself and my body and was upset that this might not be the way I would bring my baby into the world. I went home and looked into spinning breech babies, looking on Instagram and watching YouTube. I tried to go ‘upside down’ on the sofa one evening but immediately felt very faint and sick – so that was the last time I tried that! I figured baby would turn if she wanted to turn, and this helped me slowly come to terms with needing to have a c-section.

By around Week 36/37 it was clear that baby wasn’t turning, and my Obstetrician proceeded with booking me in for a c-section at 39 weeks + 2 days. As soon as I finished work for my maternity leave I dove into the Positive Birth Company online course and enjoyed learning about the mental aspect of birth and the breathing. Despite being booked in for a c-section I still decided to go through the whole course, I think a small part of me was hoping she might flip and I’d have my vaginal delivery after all!

A few days before my booked c-section I had very bad Braxton Hicks contractions through the night and into the early hours of the morning. I found setting up my space and environment really helpful during this time, as I wasn’t sure if it was the real deal or not! I must have read 10s, if not 100s of positive c-section stories that evening – which is what made me really keen to want to write my story when I’d safely had my baby. It turned out not to be the real thing and the contractions subsided some hours later.

The morning of the c-section came and our friend dropped us off at the hospital at 6.45am to check-in. Thanks to all the positive birth stories I had read I was feeling really happy and positive, and even excited about the day ahead and finally meeting our baby. My husband and I made our way to the antenatal ward where we were put into a shared room to wait with another lady who was having some antenatal bleeding. I had a little wobble at this point, it just all felt very real and ‘hospitally’ but using the up-breathing and chatting to my husband helped me calm down and feel more in control. A surgical nurse came in to complete some paperwork and take my bloods, then it was just a matter of waiting!

At around 8.30am a porter arrived to take me down to the surgical floor. I thought I might have walked this bit but was wheeled through the hospital which felt very surreal! On entering the surgical wing, my husband was whisked off to scrub up whilst staff ran through my details and what procedure we were undertaking that day. They were lovely and made me feel so at ease, we managed some small talk and even a few jokes!

We entered a room off the operating theatre called the ‘anaesthetic bay’ where the anaesthetist introduced herself and put in my hand canula. This pinched a bit, but I’d had so many blood tests taken throughout my pregnancy I’d gotten quite used to needles at this point! Next, I was wheeled into the operating theatre which I remember was much larger and much colder than I expected. There were lots of staff milling around getting ready, but everyone was very friendly and chatty which helped keep me at ease. My husband needed to stay in the anaesthetic bay until I was anaesthetised, so I felt grateful for their chatter!

I was asked to sit on the edge of the bed with my feet on a stool, hugging a pillow for the local anaesthetic and epidural. I focused on up breathing the whole time, and it really didn’t hurt anywhere near as much as I thought it would. I was swung around and the team began doing tests on me to test my feeling, with ice, poking me with a stick and washing fluid on my vagina getting ready to put in the catheter. Unfortunately, I could feel everything! I was very vocal about this and let them know (my BRAIN really helped here) and they soon realised that the epidural had failed. They got ready to insert a full spinal block, and I asked lots of questions about why this had happened and what was happening next to stay informed which really helped me feel in control. The spinal block was much more painful than the epidural, but with consistent up breathing (and holding the hand of one of the nurses very tightly!) I was able to get through it. Within minutes the feeling in my legs and chest went so the team were confident this one had done the trick!

I lay down and my husband was able to come in and sit next to me, while the team busied getting themselves ready. Before my c-section the one aspect I was very worried about was having a catheter inserted but I honestly didn’t feel a thing. I was treated with dignity and respect and remember thinking I needn’t have been so worried! The surgery began and my husband and I quietly chatted (about Christmas and Gavin and Stacey from memory!) to keep me calm. We forgot about our playlist (which I had worked really hard on!!) but it really didn’t matter. After a lot of pushing and shoving, which didn’t hurt, just felt very peculiar, the screen was pulled down and at 10.28am our beautiful daughter was born. The whole surgery team cheered and were so happy, I burst into tears just so overwhelmed that she was finally here!#

It had been explained to me that delayed cord clamping and immediate skin to skin wasn’t going to be possible as she needed to be checked by a paediatrician due to her severe breech position, so I was ready when she was whisked away into the anaesthetic bay. Fortunately, my husband could go with her, and I could see the whole thing while she was checked over, given her vaccines, measured / weighed etc. I was so elated I honestly didn’t mind; I was just so happy and grateful she had arrived. She was brought back to me and laid on my chest for the rest of the birth whilst the team stitched me up. This could have been 20 minutes or 2 hours I couldn’t tell you; I was just so in awe of her.

When the birth was over I was wheeled to recovery where I had skin to skin and started to breastfeed my daughter. I was here for about an hour just resting and enjoying her, before being moved to the ward into our private room. We were so pleased to be given a private room as my husband could stay the night, and those 3 nights we had in hospital were both difficult and wonderful recovering and getting to know each other. Again I needn’t have worried about the catheter which was taken out about 24 hours later, it hurt for a very split second then that was it!

Overall, the recovery has been painful and tricky at times but I’m writing this 3 weeks later now completely off my pain medication as a happy mum to a happy daughter. I’m so blessed to look back so fondly at my birth experience and thank the Positive Birth Company for both their course, and the resources. Thanks also to the other Mums who shared their stories as this definitely helped put me in a really good frame of mind and feel excited and positive about my c-section. Even though it wasn’t what I hoped for at the beginning of my pregnancy – it was a wonderful birth and I wouldn’t have had my daughter any other way. Best of luck to all the future Mums out there, you’ve totally got this.