Birth story - Amelia and baby Milo

*Trigger warning* - use of the word contractions and shoulder dystopia, cord around neck, resuscitation breaths.

My gorgeous son has been earth side for almost four months and I have finally emerged from the newborn bubble/haze. I now have the urge to reflect on my birth experience before I forget the details! I hope you enjoy reading the story of my pregnancy and Milo’s birth.

I so enjoyed reading everyone’s birth experiences throughout my third trimester, it really helped me to prepare not only for the birth that I hoped to have, but also of all the wonderful ways the birthing people of this community have adapted when things didn’t quite go to plan and really reassured me that my labour would be exactly as it was meant to be. I make no apology for how long this post is!

After a year of ‘not trying but not preventing’ followed by a year of trying pretty hard, my husband and I were thrilled to discover we were pregnant in August of 2020.

I was quite nervous in the early stages of my pregnancy, so my husband and I booked a private scan at around 8 weeks and were so in love with the little peanut on the screen who had a strong heartbeat and was growing well. My pregnancy progressed with no complications, and in the first trimester I had a little nausea and was wiped out at the end of each day. After the 12 week scan it came back that I had a UTI (which I had no symptoms of) which I was prescribed a course of antibiotics for. And from around 14-16 weeks I had mild pelvic pain which continued for the duration of my pregnancy (and disappeared the moment that I gave birth).

All my antenatal appointments with the midwifery team were over the phone until the third trimester due to the lockdowns (with the exception of scans, and the glucose test which I was offered as I have a higher BMI). This is what made me look for a course and when I saw the PBC course I knew it would be a good fit. I had never had any fears associated with birth, but wanted a course that would give my husband and I the tools to understand what was happening, and ways to make sure that we had a great experience. The course exceeded our expectations. My husband had definitely done an eye-roll when I said ‘hypnobirthing’ but he got so into the digital pack and we would do a few videos every day after walking our puppy. I didn’t vibe with meditations but every day I would take a bath and do some breathing techniques and read lots of birth stories in the lead up to my labour.

Around 34 weeks the midwife found that baby was breech, and had said that if he was still presenting as breech at my next appointment that I would be referred up to the hospital- but at my next appointment baby was head down and he stayed that way!

My 40 week appointment fell on a Friday (I was 40+1) and I was offered a sweep which I accepted as I had been having very mild period cramps for about a week and I wanted to know if I was progressing at all. The midwife did the sweep (which I didn’t find uncomfortable at all) and said that I was 1-2cm dilated and that my cervix was already paper thin. She actually got very excited and said that it was the best sweep she had performed in years! She had said the last time she did a sweep like that the woman had gone to Tesco afterwards and her water had broken in the aisles and she had the baby later that day. She bet that I would have the baby before the end of the weekend. This put me in such an excellent mood. It is the practice of the midwife team to book you a no-obligation induction date at the hospital at your 40week appointment, and they booked me in for an induction at 41+6 which didn’t bother me at all as I felt if I was still pregnant at that stage that I would have accepted an induction anyway.

I walked home from the appointment and had some mild Braxton hicks and some more painful tightenings and when I got home I bounced on the ball and let my husband know that we might be having a baby soon. That evening I was still having Braxton hicks and on Saturday morning I lost my plug. But after that everything died down. On Sunday and Monday my husband and I went on 10 mile walks with our dog and watched funny films, ate spicy food, and dodged calls from family and friends who kept checking in to ‘see how I was doing’. By Monday night my muscles were aching (10 miles is a long way to walk two days on the trot at over 40 weeks pregnant !!) and I had a quiet night at home. On Tuesday my husband went to work and I just relaxed, watched films and when he came home we ordered dinner in. I had also used my manual breast pump to harvest some colostrum in the afternoon (as I had heard this could trigger contractions), nothing happened. I had a bath and we got ready for bed and just as we were drifting off at around 11.30pm I said to my husband ‘I think I maybe just had a contraction’ and he asked if we should wait up. I just laughed and said that it was probably nothing and that we should get some sleep. I drifted off and woke up to a contraction at 12.30am on the 28th April. I lay in bed and I was having irregular contractions and practiced my up breathing through them. Over the next three hours I tried to rest, but had to keep getting up to go to the toilet, and I realised that my show had started. Lots of mucus mixed in with some blood, I wasn’t timing anything but my contractions were definitely getting closer together. At 3.30am I decided to take a warm shower. I was practicing my breathing, and started timing my contractions every so often, they were coming every 2-3 minutes but were only 15-20 seconds long. At 5am I decided to get out of the shower, and thought I would try lying down in bed, but that lasted all of one contraction before I realised that lying down made things worse. I got back up and drew a bath. I was still using the toilet frequently and actually threw up a few times as well. At 5.30am my husband woke up and I told him that I thought we were having a baby today! At around 6am we started timing my contractions again and they were now around 30-35 seconds long and coming every 2 minutes. My husband called the hospital and I think there were some wires crossed (English is my husbands second language) and they advised that we should wait at home until contractions were three minutes apart and lasting 45 seconds to a minute. I was a bit confused as my contractions were more frequent than this. They suggested that I take a bath (which I had already been doing) and to take some paracetamol (we tried the paracetamol but I just threw it back up immediately). At 8am I was still in the bath and we started timing the contractions again, they were now lasting 45 seconds and were still 1.5-2 minutes apart. My husband called back and spoke to a different midwife who said that we should get to the hospital ASAP.

At this stage my phone died, not the battery, my phone screen flickered a few times and it just shut down! This meant no Freya to help with the breathing and no music playlist that I had put together, and I definitely wobbled. I said to my husband that if my contractions kept going like this that I wanted an epidural.

We ordered an Uber to the hospital and we got in and began the 15 minute drive to Whipps Cross. I was in the back seat, biting down on a towel, just trying to breathe through the contractions. When we got closer to the hospital the driver asked which department we were going to. I thought it was pretty bloody obvious it was the maternity unit!! I don’t know where else the heavily pregnant lady, biting down on a towel with all of her bags and a car seat would be going haha.

We pulled up and I walked into triage and had a midwife who asked me how they could help. I started to explain what I had been experiencing, stopping to breathe through contractions when a second midwife approached and asked how they could help (they couldn’t see their colleague), they accepted me and asked me into a triage bed so they could do some observations, they asked for a urine sample which I just couldn’t give as I had been to the toilet too often over the past 8 hours.

After monitoring the baby (who was fine) and taking my blood pressure etc they offered an examination to see how far I was progressed. The midwife examined me and was shocked that I was already 4-5cm dilated and that they could admit me. She asked what I would like to do and I said I wanted an epidural, but she had read my birth preferences and said that I could have one if I wanted but that there was a room with a pool free and that if I wanted to try that first I could always opt to have an epidural later. She said that she thought I was coping so well that I wouldn’t need one. I’m really pleased that she did this as it was just the boost that I needed without Freya and my music! She had said that she did a sweep when she examined me and that the waters were bulging and that they would probably go soon and I would feel some relief when they did.

We made the slow journey upstairs to a very large birthing room. The midwife who would be looking after me introduced herself and did some more checks on the baby, and talked me through all the options to keep UFO, but I said I just wanted her to fill the birthing pool. She seemed a bit miffed and said that they didn’t usually want you to get in the pool until you were 6cm but after I insisted she began to fill the pool. She left the room and when the pool was half filled I got in. She returned and was surprised that I had already got in the tub and filled it the rest of the way for me. She was checking in on the baby every 15 minutes and advised that they would offer the next examination at around 1pm. There was another woman in the pushing stages so she went to assist her colleague in one of the other rooms. My husband and I were left to ourselves, I was still contracting every 1.5-2minutes and was just loving being weightless in the pool.

We were admitted at 9.30am and the midwives came to monitor the baby every 15 minutes and suggested that I try gas and air, but they kept saying that it might just make me nauseous, and I was still nauseous from the vomiting earlier in the morning so that just sounded terrible to me. I told them to set it up, but I never actually took any puffs as I just didn’t want anything that might make me feel more sick. They also tried to encourage me to eat and drink which I just couldn’t stomach- my husband was being so supportive and also tried to remind me to eat and drink but I just couldn’t do it. I was in my own zone, breathing through contractions.

At around 10.30am I had this sensation in my butt, kind of like I really needed to poo. I probably should have realised that this was my transition to the down phase of labour but I just keep flighting it. At 11.30am one of the midwives came to check on me, and when she saw me and probably heard me- she asked if I was having the urge to push. I just said that I had so much pressure in my butt! She asked if she could examine me. I said yes, but that I was not getting out of the pool. She said that was fine and she examined me as I was floating in the water. Much to my surprise she said that I was ready to have a baby! I was so shocked as my waters hadn’t gone, and she said they were still bulging.

She was so sweet and said that we should start trying to push, and that when babies head crowned another midwife would join us in the room to assist. Not even 10 minutes later I could hear that she called in another midwife! She said she could see my sons head, and that he had a full head of hair! And asked if I would like to see. I said yes, and she held up a mirror which was just so so cool! On the next contraction his head was out. She then said that the next time I felt a contraction that I should push and his body would be born and I should pick him up out of the water and bring him to my chest. I was actually really struggling to tell when I was having contractions at this point so she put her hand on my belly and said that I was having one. I pushed, and pushed and she said that I should push harder, but he just wasn’t coming. I then heard the emergency alarm go off, and she said his shoulders are stuck. And they asked me to stand up out of the water and they assisted his delivery manually. They passed him through to me and the cord was wrapped around his neck twice (it was a very long cord) and my husband said that his head was a different colour to his body. I saw the midwives clamping the cord and taking my son into the corridor. This was the longest moment of my life. The doctors then told my husband to come out and be with our son and I heard his sweet cry. The midwives helped me out of the pool and onto a bed, and shortly afterwards they brought my son to me. He was perfect. They had needed to give him five resuscitation breaths but he was perfect. Milo was born at 11.51am on the 28th April, weighing 9lbs 1oz and 54cm long, about 12 hours after I had my first contraction.

I had a second degree tear, most likely caused by the stuck shoulder and the very quick second phase of labour. I was stitched up while my husband had skin to skin and then when I was all done we started feeding- he had a great latch straight away, which was such a blessing.

We were told that we could actually stay in the birthing room overnight, which meant that there were no visiting restrictions and there was a double murphy bed in the room. My husband did go home around 9pm to look after the dog and the cat but it meant that he could come back first thing in the morning to be with us. We were discharged the next afternoon after some final checks on baby.

One of the doctors who was performing checks on baby had called my experience ‘traumatic’ but to me my birth was beautiful, I felt so empowered, I had an unmedicated water birth, and sure, there was a slight panic right at the end but the midwives explained everything so well in the moment that I just knew our baby would be OK.

I felt like superwoman afterwards, and the midwives came to speak to me afterwards to tell me that next time I should plan for a home birth as I would likely not make it into hospital and might end up having a baby at home or in the car .

To all the women and birthing people about to experience the magic that is birth, I wish it is everything that you want it to be and more. I certainly cannot wait to experience it again.