Birth story - Aija and baby River

*Possible triggers*: previous small baby, previous preeclampsia, unplanned c-sec, pushing, tearing.

This will be a long one, but whilst pregnant I loved reading these, especially the birth stories with as much detail as possible and I learned SO much just from reading these stories!

1st birth.

I was low risk and had a super easy pregnancy until at a routine 38 week midwife visit it turned out I had preeclamsia which got severe very quickly (I did not have any symptoms so go to your midwife's visits they ARE important!). I had my baby girl within 48hours from there via unplanned C-section. When I was watching the digital pack the first time around, I didn't even consider that I might have any health conditions and completely didn't pay attention to those bits about trusting the medical advice when it's on point as doctors are there for a good reason. I remained completely calm even though doctors were running in and out. Especially when all goes against the norm it's important to keep breathing and calm as stressing would not help any type of birth. Overall I still felt amazing after my c-sec and the anesthesiologist commented that she had never seen such a relaxed mom in that situation. (Thanks to Positive birth Company!)

2nd pregnancy.

I did not even consider going for a planned c-sec. I was willing to experience a natural birth if at all possible. And my god I'm so happy I did!

I had 25% chance of getting pre-eclampsia again which automatically put me in a high risk for my 2nd pregnancy.

Adding to that, my 1st baby was only 5lbs, so I had to go for loads of growth scans during 2nd pregnancy and the results were all over the place. I was questioning what the point of the growth scans are until I had a really nice consultant who explained that if a baby is small or if there are problems with blood flow from the cord, the baby might not cope well during natural labour and c-sec would be a safer option for the baby. That put my mind at ease and I now knew if I had to, I would opt for it, but I still hoped for a vaginal birth. I had to reconfirm this with every consultant I met over the last 3 months of pregnancy. I think I met like 6 different consultants as after each growth scan I was meeting a different doctor and had to explain it all over again.

When discussing my birth preferences with my midwife, it turned out, that as I had previously had a c-sec, a home birth was not advisable and I don't have a midwife lead birth centre near me, so it had to be the hospital from the start. The midwife said they have 2 pool rooms in Salisbury and if at all possible I could have my dream birth there even though she already prepared me saying that my baby will be constantly monitored due to my previous history. We agreed they would use the wireless monitor so I could still use the pool.

My pregnancy continued without any signs of preeclamsia. After 38+6 weeks growth scan the consultants were finally happy saying they no longer had concerns about the growth of this baby and I could wait to go into labour naturally. GAME ON! I couldn't believe it!

Surprisingly though I was offered a sweep at this appointment (only 38+6 weeks without any reason to speed up birth at this point!) And when I politely declined, the doctor said I SHOULD have a sweep at my midwife appointment at 40 weeks (again without any real reason). I said at my 40 week midwife appointment that I'd rather wait and she was completely supportive. But I couldn't believe that I was even offered these and without watching the digital pack I would not know any better and probably would have agreed to everything. I was also booked in to talk about induction at 41 weeks as I was told now the advice is to have induction no later than term +12 days to have baby by 42 weeks. I agreed to meet for discussion hoping I might convince them to wait if I still hadn't had my baby by then.

The birth.

I was having Braxton Hicks from about 38 weeks, the due date, 1st of April, came and went and none of my friends or family were bothering me because I told most people due date is around the middle of April (nice white lie).

At 40+2 at about 10pm I could feel my surges starting as they felt different to the Braxton Hicks. These were in my back, not the front. I immediately moved into UFO position and sat on my birthing ball telling my husband that I thought something was happening and I would let him know and then I went to bed. He was sleeping separately to get some sleep as our toddler sleeps with us and my husband couldn't get any sleep for weeks. We agreed he needed to sleep in the living room, to be nice and fresh for when birth begins. I slept very well overall btw.

At 3am I woke for my usual toilet trip and felt that surges were definitely still there and saw a plug come out. This kept coming out quite a few more times during the night and there was no blood at all. I tried to sleep, but by about 5am I couldn't and came downstairs to have a cup of tea. My husband was already up and our toddler woke up too. Surges were coming regularly and as soon as I started timing them on Freya app, it said I was in active labour. This was a little confusing as I wasn't sure if it was really time to call the hospital. We called the hospital at 7am as I knew this was not going away and they advised me it was up to me if I want to come in to be checked. I waited another hour, tried to have a bath (with my toddler joining) but I wasn't comfortable in there. We arranged for my sister to come babysit for us and went to the hospital just to check my blood pressure and make sure it was all ok ready that we might be sent back.

8.40am

Already in the car I knew we would be turned back to go home as the surges almost stopped and I arrived there smiley as if I wasn't in labour at all. This is when I met a real life angel, or midwife, Helen who saw us then and throughout the labour and even stayed an hour after her shift to complete my care. She examined me saying I was 3cm and soft, but that baby was quite high and the waters were blocking his way. We stayed at the hospital for 1 hour, the surges came back but nothing else progressed. I was advised to go home and come back when surges were so strong I couldn’t talk through them at all and take all my concentration or when the water breaks.

12pm

I came home to meet my sister and toddler, it was a very hot Easter Sunday. We sat down to have a coffee and a hot cross bun in the garden. Surrounded by my family at home immediately the surges picked up so much I didn't even touch my coffee. I kept breathing through using Freya app which is a godsend. I didn't manage to listen much to relaxations in between as I just had to press my app all the time. After a while my husband was pressing it for me on my signals to him. Side note: You do need a remote battery charger for your phone as my phone would have run out really quickly running this app. So after about an hour I went upstairs to the toilet and got stuck there, my husband brought me water and my sister took our little girl for a walk to give me space. I walked to our bedroom and the waters broke no drama, we wanted to change the carpet anyway). We thought the water was clear, there was no smell, but later in hospital they said from my pad they could tell it had a meconium in it.

Now my husband called the hospital saying we were coming back and again requested the pool room. It's good he said this every time we spoke to them as each time they had to take note of this. Well this was a totally different car journey, I was in UFO position on the back seat feeling every bump and my surges were non stop. Luckily it's only a 10 min drive.

1.30pm

It took me ages to walk from the carpark to the ward as I kept stopping and breathing. My husband kept trying to get me in to the hospital as quickly as possible but I said it was impossible for me to do anything during a surge we just had to wait. I had my eyes closed pretty much for most of the birth from this point onwards. As soon as we arrived we were directed to the room and it was an amazing, big, spacious room with a birthing pool and a disco ball haha! My husband turned on the disco ball and was chatting with midwife about what music she liked at which point I thought - is it really relevant at the moment??? Haha anyway he got it all set up and then the Midwife realised from my pad there had been a meconium in waters. Because of this I was not advised to use a pool unless I really, really wanted to as they wouldn’t stop me. I was fine staying on dry land at this point and only thought it was a shame we are taking up this lovely room if I couldn’t use the pool anyway. I got examined and was 4 cm. I knew from other birth stories that this was just a number and honestly I didn't take any notice of this just concentrating on my up breathing. I had wireless monitoring the whole time. After knowing I was not going to use the pool I asked if it would be too early for gas and air and then she said she was so sorry and should have offered me this and of course I could have it ! From starting gas and air it was all much easier and I kept biting on it and didn't feel giggly but didn't feel sick either. So we stopped using the app for up breathing, I just used gas and air.

5pm

The midwife said my surges sounded pushy. I didn't think that was the case as I didn't feel any grand transition or feeling of giving up at all like I read about in so many birth stories. I just kept breathing through using gas and air. At some point she examined me and said I was fully dilated but I still did not take any notice I just didn't have any of the feelings I was expecting to have (no burning pain as that's what I imagined would happen) and only felt like I needed a loo and that the baby was nowhere near the exit .

After letting me breathe through my surges, which were a bit pushy but not actively pushed by me, the midwife said that the doctors would start coming in soon as they would start getting involved if baby isn't born within 2 hours from starting to push (so I had 1 hour left). The midwife was so patient with the wireless monitor which kept cutting out and said at this point it might be a good idea to stop using the gas and air and so she can encourage me to push if I want to. I agreed and she just gently encouraged me to actively push. At one point my husband said to me "so much for not pushing hey?" But the time was ticking. They also attached a wire to baby's head for monitoring as the other monitor kept cutting out. I could not believe they could actually reach the head as I still did not believe baby was anywhere near. I had no pain!

The doctor came in with a student even though I said no students on my birth preferences. She examined me and asked when I'd been to the toilet to empty my bladder and I hadn't at all but had been drinking water all day (my husband was relentless with this!). I tried to do a wee and couldn't, but on the toilet I realised the true meaning of pushing. I came back and they manually emptied my bladder. I asked to use a birthing stool and on that did the biggest and LOUDEST push in the history of the world haha. The 2nd midwife and the doctors came back in. My husband now said - no students please and the poor student left and the midwifes got rid of the doctor too. They all were really fighting my corner to avoid any intervention. This gave me the push to push ( no pun intended . I did most of labouring in UFO positions, but now the best position for me surprisingly was being on my back with supports for the feet and as I was surging, I pushed my feet in the supports. Half of babies head came out, next surge and it was the head and they asked me to pause and rest and the next surge the whole body came out. I still didn't have any of the pain I'd imagined, it was so different (I even thought of telling the doctor earlier that there was no pain and was this normal?)

7.10pm

The moment this very soft, warm bundle came out I said I can't believe we have done it and I could do it all again tomorrow! We had delayed cord clamping and long skin to skin. My husband cut the cord and baby boy, River, latched on feeding like a champion. He is a very content and calm baby. I refused injection and placenta came out very quickly and easily.

I did have 2nd degree tear and got stitches but I felt and still feel like a goddess. I could not be happier and, after this birth, my husband now is also up for another baby

I truly believe what was so important was the preparation and mentally feeling confident before birth as during it I was completely in the zone already and didn't read or listen to any relaxations. They were already settled in my mind.

My daily routine a month before birth:

1 X birthing relaxation MP3 a day

1 X birthing affirmations MP3 a day

I listened to these on headphones every morning in the garden, before my toddler woke up. If not then on an evening walk after bedtime or if the weather was bad then I'd have a bath after bedtime and listen to these.

Reading 1 positive birth story a day.

Perineum massage almost every evening.

You got this mamas. It's such an incredible experience and remember: your birth will be easy because you will be so relaxed!