Birth story - Abigail and baby Atticus

When I found out I was pregnant I was adamant I didn’t want my past history of health anxiety to make the experience a negative one for me full of stress and worry. As someone who meditates to help with stress and anxiety I knew hypnobirthing could potentially be really helpful for me for pregnancy and labour.

I was bought the PBC hypnobirthing book for my birthday, at which point I was 5 months pregnant. It instantly changed my perception of labour. Something I once viewed as painful, scary, uncontrollable and traumatic I could now see as empowering, positive and dare I say, an experience I was really looking forward to!

My birth preference was to have a water birth at home. Something I would never had considered before reading the book. I did my research and and felt this was the best option for me.

Before I knew it 40 weeks came, and subsequently went. I had decided that I didn’t want any ‘interference’ before 42weeks, believing my baby would come when they were ready.

At 41 weeks discussions about induction were had and I was keen to avoid this scenario, so opted for a sweep at 41+4. Nothing happened.

42 weeks came and I again had another sweep, this time it was a lot more aggressive and I remember going home still being only 1cm thinking I never wanted to have that again! After a discussion with a consultant I had agreed to an induction at 41+3 but I knew it was something I didn’t want to go ahead with.

Then on Sunday morning (42+2) at 2.30am my waters broke and I instantly started having quite regular surges. I’d been having them all week but these were a lot more intense. My birth partner called the hospital to let them know and they said to call back when they were closer together. I used the Freya app to breathe through the surges and my partner ran around setting up the pool and making the space beautiful for me. I was so excited this was it, and my baby had chosen their birthday it wasn’t decided for them!

After a few hours the surges increased & when I went to the toilet I noticed my waters had changed colour. Concerned, I called the labour ward who asked me if I would go in for checks and monitoring. I agreed (knowing I likely wouldn’t have the home birth I’d hoped for).

When we got to the hospital they confirmed I had meconium in my waters and asked to check to see how I was progressing. By this point Freya said I was in established labour. The midwife checked and said it was difficult to tell how dilated I was due to the position of my cervix. I didn’t really understand this and asked what they suggested. They mentioned putting me on the syntocinon drip to see how I got on.

From my research and talking to many friends I knew that I didn’t want to go down that route. It was at this point we thought about having a natural cesarean. I’d been in labour for 9 hours by this point and I felt I was losing control of the situation. After discussing with my birth partner the options I decided to go for the cesarean. I was able to speak to the lady who would perform it and said I wanted it to be as natural as possible with the head and shoulders being released and me and my partner watching our baby make their way into the world.

So, within an hour I was gowned up and ready to go. I used my breathing to keep me calm and focused, and I really can’t believe how relaxed I felt, knowing I was about to have major surgery. We put our soundtrack on, and got in the zone. As we had asked, the surgeon released baby’s head and shoulders and then lowered the curtain for us to be able to watch our baby make their own way into the world. This was the best moment of my life. Peter, my partner got to reveal the gender and as Atticus let out his first big cry, we too cried. I later found out that Atticus had pooped on my placenta(!) and the cord had also been wrapped round his neck twice.

For something that was so far from the birth we had hoped for, it was a truly magical and positive experience that will live with us forever. I genuinely believe that reading the PBC book and birth stories gave me the strength and power to use my BRAIN, believe in myself and make my own decisions and to embrace the whole birth experience.