Birth story - Abbié and baby girl

I realised I was pregnant a month into starting my masters degree, my partner had not long lost his job and we'd recently been served notice on our tenancy. Needless to say, what the actual fuck, but the universe works in weird and wonderful ways and it was the biggest blessing we couldn't have even imagined.

First trimester fatigue absolutely bloody floored me but I was grateful not to have any morning sickness, which I put down to my incessant ginger shot habit I'd developed around 6 months previously. The rest of the pregnancy was a dream and I absolutely adored the magical process of growing new life. After the initial fatigue wore off, I had an abundance of energy that lasted until the last few weeks when baby dropped and the infamous waddle kicked in.

I knew from the get go that I wanted a home birth as I've always been of the opinion that birth and death aren't medical events. After a lot of research, I was solid in this decision and had the support from the community midwives. I had no complications and everything was groovy. My partner and I did the hypnobirthing course, attended a local home birth group once a month, read some fab books and I started following some great birthkeepers in Instagram, including Kemi Birthjoy Johnson - I will sing this woman's praises until the day I die, check her out!

I raided TK Maxx's candle aisle, spent hours curating the perfect Spotify playlist and painstakingly stuck all my birth affirmations to fairy lights, only to end up labouring in total silence either in the bathroom in darkness or in the bedroom with the lamp on. Regardless, it was a lovely process that really got my oxytocin going and gave me space to manifest the birth I wanted.

On the 28th, I really fancied an Indian takeaway. I enjoy spicy food anyway but thought it would be funny to see if the old wife's tale was true, so ordered a vindaloo. To our humour, I woke up the next morning having lost my mucous plug and having a bloody show. That evening I started feeling pressure in my lower back, and having not experienced any back pain throughout pregnancy I wondered if it was the beginning of things. I went for a long walk and went to bed feeling nice and relaxed. The next morning was my EDD and the back sensations started ramping up a little. The day progressed and the sensations in my back started getting more intense but I did my best to ignore them as I was sure I was still in early or pre labour. It wasn't until my partner came home from walking the dog (possibly around 4pm ish?) and I was mooing rather loudly that we decided it was probably best to call our friend to set up the birth pool in the living room. I was surprised at how calm and present I stayed throughout - I felt so in control.

This whole time I was convinced the weird back sensations were just from me needing a poo, so I went to the toilet and started pushing. I started losing fresh blood, which at the time I thought was because I was trying to poo and I was doing myself damage (???? duh I was just transitioning) so thought now would be a good time to call the midwives. They arrived around half an hour later, assured me the blood was just because I was dilating nicely and asked if I wanted to hop in the pool.

As soon as I was in the pool and knew it was my baby I was pushing out, not a poo, I really went with the surges and let my body push. Initially the pressure on my bum was so intense I was adamant I was going to 'shit them out of my arse' (I so eloquently shouted at the poor midwives) but then baby moved down and I started to feel them coming through the birth canal. Which was surreal and so amazing, feeling my body stretch in this way! Apparently, I was in the pool for just over an hour when our beautiful baby girl was born. I was in awe (and still am!!!) at how perfect she looked. My partner announced the sex and cut the cord after delayed cord clamping.

I didn't want the injection to birth the placenta but the midwives thought I lost more blood than I did because it can be hard to tell in the pool. In that magical post-labour headspace I feel like I would have agreed to have my arm chopped off if someone told me it was a good idea, so I agreed. In hindsight, I wish I had waited a little to birth it on my own, but I can see why the midwives thought it was a good idea.

I didn't tear, which I'm sure is because I was so relaxed the whole time. My partner was absolutely brilliant and I felt like we were birthing our baby together. He was really present with me throughout the entire labour, and applied pressure on my lower back until I got into the pool which really helped. I felt so confident in my ability to birth I don't think I would have even thought to call the midwives if the bleeding I had in the bathroom hadn't concerned me.

I didn't time any surges or have any idea how long I was labouring for which I think also kept me in the right headspace. My birth notes said I was in labour for 9 and a half hours, though, which sounds about right.

For anyone considering a home birth, especially other first-time mamas, I'd sooo recommend it. It was utterly psychedelic and intense and beautiful and all encompassing. Not going to lie, I'm still in awe of what my body did!!!

Thanks for reading, you wonderful women have all got this! Best of luck, love love loveee xx