You matter and so does your mental health
At a time when the world is getting back to ‘normal’, the kindness we’ve learnt to appreciate so much over the last couple of years is still very much needed. It's simple, priceless and more important than ever to others - but also to yourself.
It may seem obvious, but kindness and mental health are innately connected. Being kind can improve others’ wellbeing as well as your own, reducing stress levels and improving mood, self-esteem and happiness.
Before I get into how to be kind to yourself, here are some simple ways you can spread kindness in your day-to-day life, to improve the mental health of those around you:
Offer someone a cup of tea and a chat (I always say that a cup of tea is like a warm hug!)
Check up on your friend by sending a simple text or by picking up the phone
Share your knowledge and offer support to those who are struggling if you are able to
These things may seem really simple, but the power they hold is great. Your simple text message could be the highlight of someone’s day.
Now, being kind to yourself is immensely important. It will allow room for happiness, positive feelings about yourself, and even productivity. Be kind to yourself by taking breaks when you need them, recharging and resting, especially when you have children around. As parents, we put everyone’s needs first. But guess what? It’s ok to put yourself first sometimes. In fact, it’s crucial.
Having time to do your own thing is really important, even if it’s only for 5 minutes every day. Whether that’s reading, exercising, napping, playing games, cooking, having a hot bath, or doing absolutely nothing (my favourite) - make the time, and do one thing a day that is just for you. It can be pretty difficult or disheartening to see others taking up new activities that are just for their enjoyment - meaning that it doesn’t involve their children or them being productive. As mothers and parents, we want to do it all. It's important to remember that all of us are different and will have our own self-care journey whilst being a mother/parent. We can sometimes lose ourselves and our identity because we're wearing so many hats (being a parent, sibling, friend, partner, employee) that we often forget about ourselves, which plays a huge impact on our mental state. Here are some ways to help with your mental well-being;
Exercising regularly - Whether it’s a pilates class or a walk to the local park, a bike ride with a friend or an early morning swim, moving your body is healthy and important. Move your body in a way that makes you feel good.
Removing toxic relationships - Got a friend, colleague, or perhaps a neighbour that is causing you more worry than happiness? Remove that relationship from your life. It might feel really difficult, but you’ll feel a weight almost instantly lifted.
Focusing on healthy relationships - Take that energy you spent on that toxic relationship and focus it on relationships that bring you joy. Spend more time with your friends, partner, and family members. Be around people who make you feel good.
Taking up hobbies and sticking to them - Find a hobby that you love and stick to it. It could be something active, something craftsy, something in a group or something on your own. It doesn’t matter what it is - if it brings you joy, do it.
Focusing on your career - Spending time focusing on your career goals, then achieving those goals, is simply a fantastic feeling.
Setting yourself goals and targets - Write down your goals and give yourself a time frame. Revisit them every so often to check in with yourself and see how you’re progressing. Trust me, you’ll feel incredible once you’ve reached one of your goals (or two!).
Start meditating and mindfulness - It might sound a bit ‘woo-woo’, but taking the time each day to be present and grounded does wonders for your mental health. If you don’t know where to start, download a mindfulness app, or watch some youtube videos on meditation.
Learn about your triggers and how to avoid them - Think about things that make you have negative feelings. What are they? And how can you remove these from your life?
Self-care and self-love go hand in hand. You need to love yourself to know you deserve self-care. So, what is self-love?
Loving yourself is many things. It’s to stop trying to label yourself as ‘good’ or ‘bad’ and simply accept yourself with an open heart. It’s being able to treat yourself with the same kindness, care and compassion we would show to a good friend or even a stranger for that matter. It’s accepting things about yourself that you would consider flaws and seeing them as unique, special parts of you. It’s recognising your needs and being able to prioritise them. It’s knowing that you're doing an amazing job raising your children and that they love you immensely.
Written by Christina Brown, founder of The Motivational Mums Club and Young Positive Minds. Christina is passionate about mental health and aims to empower all mothers and parents through motivational talks from panels of parents speaking about mental health, self love, body image, domestic violence, careers and more.
