Birth story - Virginie and baby Cassiopée

*Trigger warning* - genetic disorder, NICU

I found the positive birth stories really inspiring so I wanted to contribute. My story might scare some as it deals with stuff I didn't want to think about when I was pregnant, but it is important for me to tell this story because I didn't have the opportunity to talk about it much after my daughter's diagnosis, but also because having had a positive birth experience was really important. It gave me strength to navigate the first few days and weeks of NICU.

A positive birth experience is not just about having a better time just before you meet your baby. It's critical to your postpartum and it may be vital when things get more complicated after birth.

I discovered the Positive Birth Company during my first pregnancy. I read the book, watched the videos from the pack and used the Freya app. It helped me tremendously and I had a great birth experience for my son Léopold. Labour was slow but I was able to manage the surges at home for a while before heading to the hospital and opting for an epidural. I felt proud that I had been able to "ride" the surges on my own thanks to the positive affirmations.

So, when I got pregnant a year later, I decided to use the same tools. I had a great pregnancy, as easy as the first one. At 36 weeks, my obstetrician diagnosed a mild intrauterine growth restriction, so I got extra monitorings, but nothing really worrying.

At 40 weeks, the contractions I had been feeling for a few weeks intensified and I started to get the feeling of a liquid leaking intermittently. I went to hospital where I was told I had ruptured membranes and needed to be induced. This was not what I had in mind since I wanted a natural birth but there was a risk of infection as they didn't know when my waters had broken, so I agreed. And I knew deep down that labour had already started, so I thought it would just accelerate the process… and accelerate it did: less than an hour after I got the pessary, my contractions got stronger and stronger.

In the hospital room, I managed to ride the waves with the positive affirmations playing in my headphones, moaning powerfully through each one. Until it was just one massive tsunami-like wave. I was rushed to a birthing suite. I clung to my headphones for dear life. My husband was great, talking to the midwives and ensuring my headphones were plugged in at all time. By the time we arrived in the birthing suite, I was overwhelmed and asked for an epidural, but there was no time for that. As I was transferred to the birthing bed, I felt the need to push. I pushed two or three times moaning deeply and my daughter, Cassiopée, came out.

I felt so much power, so much primitive strength. All in all, labour lasted two and a half hours with the positive affirmations once again being a great help. I felt so proud to have been able to give birth naturally, and this positive birth experience was a great help for what came next.

We had a great time the three of us huddled together, but as she was checked three hours after birth, the midwives noticed something was not quite right. She couldn’t regulate her temperature and sugar levels, and she was in great pain whenever she was touched. She was admitted to NICU.

I can't stress enough how important my positive birth experience was to navigate this first few hours. I was able to stand and visit my daughter almost immediately. I was able to tend to her with the nurses, to attend to all the medical appointments the first few days. When she was transferred to a specialist hospital, I was able to go with her and visit everyday. This experience gave me the courage to pump my milk in the midst of all this. It gave me the strength to survive the anguish and the horror of being separated from her and coming back home with her still in hospital. It's been three months now. Cassiopée is still in hospital. She has been diagnosed with a rare genetic condition affecting her skin and digestive system.

She was downgraded from intensive care to a specialist paediatric ward 10 days ago and she still has a long road ahead of her before going home, but I still think back to my great birth experience and it still gives me strength. A positive birth experience is not just about having a better time just before you meet your baby. It's critical to your postpartum and it may be vital if things get more complicated after birth.