Birth story - Victoria and baby Ramona

Although I’m not sure that anything could have completely prepared me for the transformative and overwhelming experience of having my daughter, the ethos of the Positive Birth Company enabled me to remain calm, focused and relaxed throughout my labour. I wanted to write about my birth story because - throughout my pregnancy - I have been inspired and reassured by the stories of other women via the PBC Instagram account and blog.

Like so many women, I was scared of labour and began to worry about it after the initial joy of finding out I was expecting had lessened. I had heard negative stories about birth - people unintentionally saying things like ‘take all the drugs they offer you in labour’ and ‘women forget how bad it (labour) is - otherwise they wouldn’t go through it again.’ I was determined to be more positive about my birthing experience, whatever shape that might take. I had heard of hypnobirthing via a friend and felt skepticism at first thinking that it sounded a bit ‘new age’ or ‘hippy dippy’ for me. I ordered the Positive Birth Company book around 20 weeks and couldn’t have been more wrong. I was fascinated by the chapters explaining the physiological and scientific processes of birth. The ethos of hypnobirthing - remaining relaxed and calm - made absolute sense to me when i understood that oxytocin would progress labour and that adrenaline would hamper it.

I read the book quickly and then tried the MP3 free digital download. At around 30 weeks I paid for the MP3 pack and listened to positive affirmations on my walk to work. I pinned up positive affirmations around our house.  I tried to do ‘up’ breathing (which I found easier than ‘down’ breathing) and tried my best to change the narrative I had about birth. Everyday I thought about the things I had achieved in life that had been a challenge (from the physical to the emotional) and I kept trying to reinforce to myself that all those ‘versions’ of me had been strong enough to get me to the present and that they were behind me and would support me through labour. 

By 38 weeks I remember feeling frustrated and hoping that the baby would come soon. I was tired, uncomfortable, swollen. In hindsight I had just finished for maternity leave and should’ve enjoyed my time off more! I was experiencing some period-like cramps and the odd upset tummy. I also felt very emotional (almost weepy!) at points and then actively decided that I needed to relax, allow myself to watch lots of bad tv and eat some chocolate. I kept thinking of Siobhan’s voice saying ‘my baby will come when my baby is ready.’ Turned out my baby was ready at exactly 39 weeks!

I woke up that day about 5am feeling uncomfortable and restless. I didn’t want to wake my partner and headed into the living room with a blanket to try and rest. I dozed slightly but kept waking with period-like cramping in my lower back. I had read that these sensations might disappear with movement, so I got up and bounced on my birthing ball while watching tv. The feelings got stronger if anything and by 7am  I decided to wake my partner. He made me tea and toast as we watched the morning news. I still wasn’t entirely sure that I was in labour (!) but remembered a midwife telling me that the TENS machine was most effective when used from the start of labour. I was starting to experience surges so we decided to use the Freya app to time them (which I’d purchased a few weeks prior). It helped me to count and breathe through surges as I used the pulses of the TENS machine as a distraction. I had the ‘show’ and also felt the urge to have a complete clear out of my bowels. By this point - 10/11am - my partner phoned the Community Midwife Team as the Freya app was telling us that I was experiencing surges every three minutes. I talked to a midwife who said that I sounded calm and that I should ring back when things had advanced. By 12pm I knew that things were moving on, despite being reluctant to go to hospital for fear of being sent home again. This was a big lesson for me - trust your body as you know best!

Upon examination by a midwife, I was told that I was 9cm dilated (!) and was immediately taken to the pool room. The midwives were surprised that I was so calm and said after that they thought the labour was not advanced because I had been breathing calmly through surges with the TENS machine.

The hot water of the pool provided some relief although the labour seemed to slow as my waters wouldn’t break. The room was quiet and calm with low lighting and minimal chatting. In the rush to be admitted I’d left my bags in the car and completely forgot about my birthing playlist. I wanted my partner with me at all times and I remember using positive visualisation (although not consciously!) - thinking of favourite holiday locations and trying to remember how it felt to be by the sea, etc. 

By 6.30pm the midwives told me they could see my bag of waters bulging and that it hadn’t broken. I remember asking them to break it for me as I was now experiencing the overwhelming need to bear down. My waters were broken (painless and such a relief!) on the bed in the pool room. Very quickly my surges were coming a minute apart and I felt I couldn’t move back into the pool. My body told me to get down on to all fours - at first on the floor - and then on the bed, after help from the midwives. Honestly I don’t remember breathing through this stage - which lasted about 1.5 hours - and instead I was coached to push by the midwives. I felt the baby’s head descend and come out slowly which I was told was a good thing as I was gently stretching the skin. The baby’s heartbeat was monitored intermittently and remained stable - a relief! At 8.24pm our amazing girl, Ramona, was born weighing 8lbs 4oz. The placenta followed naturally 20 minutes later. I needed two stitches and finally got the opportunity to use gas and air which was brilliant! At the same time we had asked for delayed cord clamping and we enjoyed skin-to-skin. Ramona had instinctively latched on. I was shaking a little with shock and adrenaline and felt ravenous - that first tea and toast tasted amazing!

To any women out there who feels afraid or uncertain about birth, know that you have the ability and the instinct to do what’s best for you and your baby. You will be amazed at how you can cope with almost any type of development during labour. Thank you to the wonderful midwives and to the Positive Birth Company for giving me the support and tools to stay calm and focused for the birth of my wonderful daughter.