Birth story - Sugar and baby Pharaoh

*Trigger warning* - First degree tearing

Pregnancy:

My pregnancy was pretty standard: nausea and the usual aversion to all smells. A strong craving to eat a bucket of sand or soil due to Pica (Don’t worry I didn’t indulge.) Around 33 weeks my back pain kicked in as he was sitting very comfortably on my sciatic nerve, insomnia at night, and violent urges to pee every 15 minutes.

When I hit 39 weeks, I decided I wanted to induce due to a few factors:

1- I was very very uncomfortable.

2- We were about to be in between insurance companies, which means this delivery could easily cost me over $20,000 if I did not have him before our other insurance lapsed as my husband was taking a new job.

That and I also wanted to ensure that I got the doctor I had been seeing since I found out I was pregnant as she is only at the hospital on certain days.

The main reason, however was my insurance fears: a TERRIBLE reason to have to induce your labor. Welcome to the healthcare crisis of America.

Labor + Delivery:

For a few weeks, I had been having some painful surges, but they never got steady enough to warrant a trip to the hospital so I logged them but generally ignored them. I knew I had been dilated 1cm with a soft cervix for at least two weeks, but the baby’s head was not putting enough pressure on my cervix to open it up. I tried walking, bouncing on the ball, drinking Raspberry Leaf tea, and walking.

The week before induction, when I was 38 weeks, I let fear in, thinking that the use of Petocin and breaking my water would make labor pain unbearable. The following week, we went in at 7:00 am, and I was jittery They began the Petocin drip at 9:00 am. I was in my zone and listening to Air (my absolute hands down favorite band when I need to calm myself down and just get lost in music.)

The surges were beginning to get more regular and quite painful within about 45 minutes, and my doctor decided to break my water at 10:00 am, as I was still only 3cm dilated at that point. They ramped up and hit me at around 3 minutes apart and very strong, for about 2 hours after that. During this time I leaned heavily on the Freya app meditations: particularly the one reminding me of how strong I am and how to embrace the golden light. It really helped me through each surge but it was approaching unbearable.

I also moved around a lot; kneeling on the bed on all fours, hanging from the bar in a squat at the edge, squatting facing my husband on the ball, leaning forward on the bed. The only position I liked was the bar squat, and I sat on a pillow between surges.

I still refused any medications and they were good about not asking. Doctor then asked me if I wanted her to check my cervix and I said yes. I was now 7cm so I felt like if I could make it to 7, I could make it to 10! I stayed focused and about 30 minutes later, I felt that need to poo. I knew that was time to push so I asked her to check again and she did: we were at 10cm.

At this point the nurse suggested I lay on my side and put my knees together but open my ankles with a ball. This was the only time I made any loud noise at all. Having to relax your muscles during a surge at this point in labor is already barely fathomable but this position was pure despair for me. I remember yelling “I HATE THIS POSITION! Sit me up! Sit me up!” They got me into a forward leaning position at the edge of the bed for pushing.

I hated that side position, BUT it opens your pelvis, and after that, three more surges hit me, back to back, with the need to poo, and I pushed really hard, breathing down each time. Push one, I felt his head emerge, (the doctor said “His head is out, can you feel that?” And I suppressed an urge to kick her and blame it on a surge : of course I could feel it! Hahah)—-push two, his shoulders, push three, the rest of him slid out. Then the pain was over for about five minutes and I just stared at him. We named him Pharaoh Lael

I had a first degree tear, and I think her sewing me up, and them pushing on my belly to expel the clots and such, was the worst part of everything to be honest. I had one natural birth before but it was a while ago, the other two I had the epidural so I was not mentally prepared for that part and I was a little whiny about it haha!

I am so proud of myself for pushing through this but I COULD NOT have done it without the Positive Birth Community and that wonderful Freya app, along with the stories I read every day on this page. I am so grateful for this community. You can do it!