Birth story - Rachel and baby Freya

I never ever imagined I would be giving birth during a global pandemic, but here I was. The weeks leading up to my due date were a surreal blur. Social distancing was a thing, lockdown was looming and schools were waiting for a date to close. Every time we went shopping, the shelves were bare. We couldn’t get nappies, wipes, or paracetamol. Loo roll?! No chance.

Home births up and down the country were being suspended by different trusts. I could feel my dreams of a healing homebirth disappearing and fast. Like sand between my fingers. Pandemics do that, you know? They steal big things and little things and everything in between as they drain out of the space between your grip without your consent or prior warning and you’re left holding nothing but the spring air.

It’s no secret that my first labour and delivery was absolutely horrific. I was induced at 37 weeks for medical reasons. Everything that could have gone wrong, did and it left me with PTSD. My perfect baby boy was here and safe, but I bore the physical and mental wounds.

I had spent time researching how to heal from a bad birth and how to make the next time something positive - how to regain some control and autonomy over my body, so I bought the online birth company digital pack. I was a little apprehensive about hypnobirthing at first, it sounded a bit far fetched and dreamt up by hippies. Nevertheless I worked hard and felt empowered by my choices throughout my pregnancy.

When I reached my due date, the pressure was on to be induced. I KNEW that I would never ever accept one again. Supported by THE most amazing midwife, I was able to make informed decisions that were right for me and my baby. She reassured me at every appointment that I knew what was right for me. She made me feel like a queen.

The weeks went on and I was convinced I was going to be pregnant FOREVER. Researching the longest human gestation (375 days if you were wondering) I went in to hospital for monitoring and a CTG at 40+11. I also had a chat with my consultant. She ironically was my consultant the first time around and she never thought she’d be seeing me back there again! She supported me in my choices and was respectful despite me going against the grain.

✨ Now for the exciting part...

I woke up at 0430 on the 15th. Nothing new here...I was needing a wee approximately 39 times a night. I had a little “niggle” that took my breath away but nothing more than the sensations I had been having for the past two weeks. I went back to sleep and woke up later in the morning, lazy Sunday routine! I felt better that morning (I had an EPIC meltdown the day before and basically told everyone I hated them and that my body was broken and didn’t know how to go into spontaneous labour.) I cheerily asked everyone to “place their bets” as to when this elusive baby would eventually grace us with their appearance. My son Daniel said “maybe today in the day time?” My husband Gary bet that is was going to be that evening. My Mum bet on the 16th and I bet on the 18th.

I carried on my day as normal, but was aware of gas pains every now and again - I felt like I had trapped wind. Gary helped me put on a tens machine because I had read that it was good for aches and pains even before labour, I had it on the lowest level in the background from around 1730. It helped the aches in my pelvis that I had felt since about 38 weeks from feeling so heavy. Around 1730 mum and Gary said that my “gas pains” were more regular and that it would be an idea to call a midwife out. I snapped and said “stop being so blinking optimistic will you?! this isn’t the real thing and it’s a waste of time”. I begrudgingly let them call, and a midwife was sent out.

I was SO relieved when another fabulous midwife I already knew came out. I felt very safe in her capable hands. By this point, I was in my bedroom with the lights down low with candles flickering to get the oxytocin flowing. I also had THE most amazing room spray. I consented to an exam and sure enough I was only 3cm. The midwife reassured me that my body was doing as it should and I should continue to rest and go with the flow. She arrived at 1800 and left just after 1900. After she left I belligerently said to Mum and Gary “TOLD YOU SO. I’M NOT EVEN IN LABOUR, I’VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS AND IM GOING TO BED. IT’LL BE ANOTHER COUPLE OF DAYS YET. I’VE GOT ANOTHER BUSY DAY BEING PREGNANT TOMORROW. ”

I went off to bed in a strop and managed to sleep until 2030. I listened to the Freya app which I enjoyed doing every night throughout my pregnancy. I woke up a bit disorientated and in a trance like state, feeling like I needed the toilet. Around 2045 I called Gary and mum up from downstairs because I felt a lot of pressure that I was needing to breathe through. Mum came in and woooooosh, my waters exploded all over her, the wall and the floor. Mum enthusiastically said “right, NOW can we phone the midwife?! Do you finally admit that you’re in labour?” I finally admitted that things were starting to happen, but I thought I would labour through the night and have at least 8-12 hours left. I told Gary to hang back from filling the birthing pool downstairs because it would absolutely go cold and I didn’t want to waste water. I’m as stubborn as an ox if you haven’t already gathered!

As soon as my waters broke, my surges ramped up and were pretty much back to back with less than 30 seconds between. It was taking all my strength to breathe - the pressure was intense. Less than 10 minutes later at 2052 a call went into the midwives because I had started rocking back and forth on the toilet seat and started making uncontrollable low grunting noises. They sent out two midwives and instructed us to phone 999 as well. Oh, and they also told me to get off the toilet which was easier said than done! I fell forward and crawled about a foot onto the landing. Gary made the call and two ambulances were scrambled. The operator was on handsfree and had THE most annoying voice that was really getting in my “zone”. Mum politely asked her to stay quiet in the background which was much more diplomatic than me telling her to “&*%# off”...still on speakerphone.

Daniel was excitedly waiting out the front with Gary for the ambulances. Blues and two’s?! AMAZING in the eyes of a 4 year old! The paramedics arrived at 2110 and came running upstairs with gas and air in hand, holding the mouthpiece like the Olympic torch. I absolutely love gas and air so I happily had a few glorious minutes making the most of it. Up until this point, I absolutely bossed it with just breathing through each surge. I felt a strange tranquillity and felt completely in control.

Not knowing when the midwives were going to arrive, mum was preparing to deliver the baby herself with the paramedics and Gary assisting. Eventually the midwives, Leanne and Liz came at 2114 just 3 minutes before baby was delivered. The atmosphere was euphoric. Calm and quiet with an excited buzz. There was no time for an examination because the baby’s head was there. They said “can you give me this hand so Liz can get the baby’s head out”. I recoiled in complete confusion and said “Wait, what?! I’m not even in established labour. What, right NOW?!”. I didn’t consciously push, my body just took over and did what it needed to.

Our beautiful baby had just been born at 2117, only 25 minutes after calling triage. We had had a surprise GIRL! She was perfect. Guess what we called her?

We had instant skin to skin, but struggled due to a ridiculously short cord. Daniel got his gloves on and the midwife encouraged him to feel it pulsing, he found this fascinating. After it had gone white, Daniel cut the cord with the help of Daddy. This was his goal throughout my whole pregnancy and he was DESPERATE to do it. Mission accomplished.

Within 30 minutes we were tucked into our own bed, as a family of four. It was utterly magical. The midwives were sat on the landing writing up their notes with a well earnt cuppa and biscuits, and the paramedics were dotted around the house doing the same. They thought it was hilarious that I had a beautiful birthing room set up downstairs that wasn’t even touched due to my pig headedness and complete denial.

Baby was weighed after a golden hour of cuddles and nursing, it was now time to part company. Dean the paramedic said something I’ll never forget. “Thank you for allowing me into your home to witness something so beautiful”. Wait...You’re thanking ME?! When YOU were the one that deserves the thanks?! Liz also said “I’m sorry we got here so late, you made it look easy”.

With the ongoing support and unwavering belief from my wonderful Husband and my Mum, I was able to succeed with the birth of my dreams. Did it go to plan? No. It was better.

Snuggled into my Husband and both my babies, this was the moment that I believed I could, because there was no other option but to believe it. I was holding the proof.

The face of “Did I? I did.”

Oh, and we named her Freya. Yep - just like the app!