Birth story - Mum and baby boy

Sorry its a long story I didn't want to miss details which I felt were important! I had a very normal and ‘low risk’ pregnancy and knew from the start that I wanted to explore hypnobirthing. After buying the PBC course. I listened to the positive affirmations almost every night as I went to sleep, would burn a lavender scented candle in the evening, sat on a birth ball as often as I could etc.

We decided that our local birth centre would be the best option for us, and I wanted to have as intervention-free a labour as possible. Everything was going really well, I felt prepared and excited and had various bits and pieces like my tea lights, lavender essential oil, relaxing sound tracks etc ready to use for the labour!

A curveball came when I was 38 weeks + 2 days on new years day 2020, I had my midwife appointment and when the midwife measured my bump with the tape measure, it hadn’t grown since my last appointment at 36 weeks. They sent me for a precautionary but routine growth scan. The ultrasound measured our boy as small – in the 5th percentile for growth, and around 5lb. At the time I didn’t understand the measurements and this didn’t mean anything to me. The ultrasound clinic then sent me up to maternal medicine. I really didn’t know what was going on at this stage. A doctor told me that as our baby was measuring small, there was an increased risk of stillbirth and stress during labour, so birth in the MLU was now off the cards as baby’s heartrate would need continuous monitoring and he offered to book me in for an induction for the following Monday (in just 3 days!). Now you can imagine what a shock this was for me at this late stage in the pregnancy when everything had gone so smoothly, I point blank refused as I really wanted time to use BRAIN, understand what was happening and think through my options. They sent me for CTG monitoring and booked me in for monitoring again on the following Monday. I wanted to discuss this with the midwife and got an appointment for the following Tuesday. The weekend was an anxious one which I spent researching accuracy of growth scans, induction of labour and how to make an induced labour still a positive one if that’s what I decided to do!

On the 6th Jan I went in for the monitoring, after that was done I had a consultation with an obstetrician- much better than the doctor who I had seen on the Friday! In between the monitoring and seeing her, I used BRAIN to write down a list of questions which I asked the consultant. She explained to me what the measurements meant and what the concerns were. By the end of it she asked me if I had exhausted my list of questions- I don’t think she was expecting me to be quite so prepared! I decided that I still wanted to talk to my midwifes before making any decision. The doctor advised that I get a sweep at the midwife appointment and come in again for monitoring on Wednesday.

The following day I went to my midwife appointment around midday, and chatted through everything with her. She helped me to weigh up my options and the various risks and benefits. She measured my bump which HAD grown. She point blank refused to do the sweep, as I was only 39 weeks + 1 day she said that my body would probably not be ready for it so there was no point. We decided that it would be best to wait until my due date in a weeks time to have a sweep and in the mean time I would continue to go for monitoring and we would reassess induction when I reached the due date.

I felt super reassured at the appointment and like a massive weight had been lifted off my shoulders! I went home and after about 45 mins I felt a warm wet sensation in my pants- I was pretty sure that my water was breaking! I tried to ring the birth centre but no one picked up, so I ate lunch and put on gardeners world because I knew it would relax me! Once I had eaten I tried to ring the birth centre again and explained to them the most recent developments, and that I wasn’t sure at this stage whether I was still able to give birth in the MLU or whether I had to be on the labour ward. They advised that I go in for CTG monitoring as soon as I could and that we would take it from there. At this point I don’t remember feeling any surges or pains, just the constant trickle of water. I remember experiencing a contraction or two in the car on the way to the hospital- the first time I noticed any sensations, but they were comfortable. When a room was available they set me up on the CTG monitor. I played one of my relaxation music tracks to keep me calm. From there, things started to intensify quickly and my memory becomes hazy. Upwards, Forwards, Open was constantly on my mind and I remember asking if I could be in a more comfortable position whilst being monitored, rather than reclining on the chair. The CTG came out fine, once done things started to intensify, contractions felt like they were around 5 mins apart (I had downloaded Freya just weeks before when the android version was released but never got round to using it because things sped up so quickly it didn’t even cross my mind to use it!)

After that the midwives came into ask me how I was, whether I wanted to go home or would prefer to stay in- I said definitely stay in! However there was still an uncertainty around where I could give birth- the CTG had come out fine and I really wanted to go to the birth centre. We waited for what felt like ages as they couldn’t decide where I should labour. Quite quickly things intensified and I told one of the midwives that I didn’t care where they put me, I just wanted a room asap! Eventually, around 6.30pm, we were taken to the only pool room on the labour ward. After that, they put the monitors around my bump- this was the most annoying part of being on the labour ward because they had to keep adjusting them to get the readings properly. From then, I spent all my time trying to find a comfy position that also allowed them to monitor properly. I had relaxation tracks playing but all of the other things we had brought to create a relaxing atmosphere were completely forgotten as I just tried to focus on comfort and up breathing through the contractions, and my husband stayed by my side making sure that I ate and drank and encouraged and comforted me. At some point my midwife measured my dilation and I was 4cm- hooray eventually I wanted to try the pool, so I got in but the monitors didn’t work properly so I had to come out pretty much straight away, that was really unpleasant because I felt cold! A few times I needed to use the loo, I remember one of those times I came back from the toilet and I had a contraction which was different to the ones before- it felt like a pushing contraction, I was leaning over the pool and as the contraction happened loads of water came out involuntarily- at the time I thought I was peeing myself but I realize now it was my waters leaving my body in a massive gush. At some point I started using the gas and air as well, which helped me to focus on breathing a bit and take my mind off the contractions, though I cant say it relived any pain. Eventually I found a comfy position leaning over a birth ball, but unfortunately they said the babys heartrate was dropping when I was in that position and they asked me if they could attach a probe to his scalp to monitor instead. I asked what the risks are, they said none, I said ok! So I got on my back and before they inserted the probe she checked my dilation- I was 10cm!

Eventually I found a position where I was leaning over the bed kneeling on the floor. This was the last stretch, the pushing phase, which lasted around an hour. It was the hardest thing and really painful. I tried to use down breathing while my body pushed. Eventually the midwives started to see his head showing, and it bobbed down and back up with my body pushing for what felt like an eternity. I had done my best to use down breathing while my body pushed but eventually the midwives asked if I wanted to be coached through the pushing to help him out. I obliged. I spent the rest of that time making what I can only describe as roaring screams as I pushed to try and get his head out, squeezing my husbands hand very hard, and at one point even biting it during a contraction! When there was only a minute or so between contractions I barely had the energy to drink water and at one point I felt I couldn’t do it any more and asked Meg if she could put her hand in and just pull his head out! But eventually his head did come! All of the pain of the ring of fire went away and they asked me if I could hear him crying- I did! Then with just one more push the rest of his body came out of me and my body was strangely empty. They passed him underneath my legs and I held his wet and slippery body for the first time. I can only describe seeing him for the first time as completely surreal.

We wrapped him in our towel and the 3 of us spent the next hour and a half together quiet and just looking into each others eyes, touching his soft skin and taking it all in. My husband cut the squidgy cord after around 10 or 20mins and I only birthed the placenta after an hour when Meg emptied my body with an in-out catheter.

At the time it was the most painful and intense thing I have ever experienced. But I look back on it with wonder and amazement at the miracle that occurred on that day and what my body was capable of achieving. Thank you God, In a strange way I crave to experience the beauty of childbirth again. My experience taught me that being relaxed and at ease is crucial to allowing labour to be a natural process- after I was able to let go of the anxiety of making a decision about induction my body was ready to birth our baby. Hypnobirthing definitely helped me to make the right decisions at the end of pregnancy and during labour and gave me tools which helped me to keep calm through it, thank you PBC!