Birth story - Mum and baby boy

*Trigger warning* - late baby and induction being pushed, use of word contractions

Our little boy was clearly happy in my tummy and didn’t want to come out! Due date came and went and no sign, it was quite challenging mentally waiting for him. I found this the hardest part of the whole pregnancy! But looking back he just needed time and came out when he was ready!

Contractions started on the Saturday, I went for a long walk, did some art, watched nice films, saw some friends, etc. By Sunday evening contractions really ramped up & I was having 3 contractions in 10 minutes, on my birthing ball at home getting excited and breathing through each contraction. I got to the point I couldn’t talk through them so we went to hospital at 1am but we were sent home after monitoring as contractions were not regular enough. Sometimes they had a 30 second break sometimes a 5 minute break. We went home to get some sleep and contractions had died off by the morning. I was gutted!

This continued Monday & Tuesday. I’d been having check-ups every 2 days from 41 weeks onwards (standard procedure in France) but these took place in the emergency department, so different midwives each time, 30 minute monitoring, internal exam, etc. I asked for a stretch & sweep each time (had declined this at every previous appointment). At 41 weeks my cervix was ever so slightly open but the midwife could not do a full stretch & sweep. At 41+2 was 1cm dilated but cervix not very favourable. At 41+4 I was booked in for an ‘induction’ appointment - I had no intention of being induced, but agreed to go to the appointment for a check up.

The hospital was very adamant that they do NOT let anyone go past 41+4 and that they had to induce today. After the internal exam, my cervix was at 2cm so I felt this was a really positive advancement and I was so pleased! But they were insistant that protocol is induction and it wasn’t a choice…. I was on my own at this point as my partner wasn’t allowed in with me (covid protocols….) so it was hard to fight my corner on my own… I did not agree to the induction but agreed to discuss options on the labour ward with the midwives there. I was so grateful to feel empowered with knowledge to make these decisions thanks to the PBC course.

There was no room on the labour ward so I was told to come back in 2 hours. I went for a walk, a coffee, tried to stay positive and had a laugh with my partner power walking up & down the hospital stairs. I went back for my appointment and my cervix was 2cm but short and fully effaced, head fully engaged and 3 contractions in 10 minutes!! (I wasn’t even feeling them but the came up very clearly on the monitor!). They sent us off to the labour ward, my partner was allowed to come with me now, and we got there for about 7pm. They still had the idea that they would be inducing me but I knew I would discuss options with them but that inducing wasn’t what I wanted as I felt things were advancing on their own and my little boy just needed time!

I arrived at the labour ward and was shown to our lovely room, had a large Velux window, nice set up, the midwives were really lovely and had remembered me from the previous appointments and even remembered I didn’t want the epidural, etc. Very different atmosphere on the labour ward compared to in the emergency department. My midwife said she could give me an hour and they’d see if there was any advancement but if not she would break my waters. I told her I didn’t want that, I was also in contact with my own midwife who had followed my pregnancy and also one of my best friends who is a midwife who both agreed things seemed to be going well on their own. The midwife said that it’s ok & that we’ll discuss in an hour!

We got settled in the room, music on our speaker, using the birthing ball and moving around, changing position, my partner gave me back massages throughout every contraction, (in France you have 7 preparatory sessions with your midwife and our midwife focused on teaching us different techniques like pressure points and massages, as well as theory, so this really helped alongside the hypnobirthing course!) and when the contractions were getting stronger my partner counted the breathing for me which really helped me focus.

By 8pm I was 3cm, so the midwife confirmed we wouldn’t need to induce! 10pm I was was 4.5cm, contractions started getting more intense but between each one I was still laughing and smiling with my partner. The midwife could see that the contractions were becoming a lot more powerful so she suggested a bath! I didn’t even know they had one - it had only been installed 2 weeks ago! I absolutely LOVE baths and don’t even have one at home so instantly accepted! It was the best thing ever, I felt SO relaxed in the water, we had our speaker, phone torch on as the only light in the room and breathing through each contraction. I felt so in tune with my body and present in the moment.

I decided to (reluctantly) get out after an hour as my contractions were coming further and further apart and after all the false hope of labour starting and stopping the last 4 days I was worried it would stop. I got out the bath and was 5cm dilated at around 11.30pm, so even though the contractions were further apart things were progressing just fine! I had some more monitoring, my waters broke whilst having an internal exam during a contraction, then I did more labouring on the birthing ball and pulling down on the hanging fabric - it really helped.

The sounds started coming out and I was making more noise with each contraction. I became so focused, my partner still helping me through every contraction, but it was quite a surreal feeling as I was so absorbed in my own body, becoming less responsive almost to the outside world as I was so in the zone! I think around 1.30am I had another internal exam and was 6cm, since I had advanced slowly but surely they said they will break protocoles and let me carry on without continuous monitoring (normally its continuous monitoring from 5cm onwards!) so I went back in the bath. The midwives left us to it and were not intrusive at all, they were very supportive and kept telling me how amazing I was doing, and were so impressed with my partner who was really getting me through each contraction.

Things were powerful/intense and I was really making a lot of noise! My contractions were very close together. It got to a point my partner was getting concerned and reminding me of the breathing, all the sessions we had done, in for 4, out for 8, but I was starting to loose control of this and I could not breath in for 4, but I could breath our for so long! I had a few contractions like this, really not managing to stick to the breathing - then realised - this was probably it! Down breathing - I was pushing! I don’t know how I hadn’t realised this change, I was expecting a ‘transition’ phase and also did not expect it to happen so quick - less than an hour ago I was 6cm! I told my partner that I wasn’t sure but I thought I was pushing! I felt a lot of pressure. He pulled the cord and the 3 midwives came in, quickly witnessed a contraction and did a quick internal exam to confirm - 10cm and baby was on his way!

They said we’d move back to the room - but they quickly realised I was not getting a break between contractions and that this would be near impossible!! They said we’d try for 30 minutes in the bath… no one had given birth in the bath before and they were not technically allowed… but they were amazing and adapted to the situation. They quickly took all the inserts out the bath so I had more room and I was on my side pushing on the top of the bath with my hands and the bottom of the bath with my feet. I was REALLY making a lot of noise but it just helped.

After about 25 minutes the midwife suggested moving positions and I went onto my hands and knees. She told me to focus all my energy in and try to push as hard as I could, that making noise was ok but not to waste energy on the noise but focusing all my energy down. My partner was by my head being my biggest support. The change of position really helped and within 3 pushes my baby was born! They quickly brought him to my chest and it was just magical. We had a few minutes of skin to skin and my partner cut the cord.

There were actually six midwives in the room, I think partly because it was quite a spontaneous pushing stage and no one had planned for it to be in the water, it was also the first time someone had given birth in the bath, but I think they also really admired a natural birth and really wanted to see! They wanted us out the bath quite quickly so we didn’t get cold, so they then took baby with my partner for his quick checkups and I got out the bath, wheeled to the room and delivered the placenta within a few minutes and had baby back on me in no time.

We had a lovely 2 hours, baby fed for at least an hour! We video called my family in the uk (even if it was 4am!!!) and my partners family, it was just amazing. I had no tears, just a little cut that had to have 2 stitches as it just wasn’t stopping bleeding, they used a numbing spray for this. As soon as they told me I needed a few stitches I suddenly felt really faint - I think it was just the idea of it that made me feel squeamish! I was quickly put on a drip and my partner looked after baby until I felt ok again - it was over with very quickly! I was glad to have had the needle put into my arm right at the beginning of labour at 7pm as this meant it got me feeling better much quicker and back with baby quicker too.

We eventually left the labor ward - and I nearly cried leaving the midwives. They had just been amazing and so supportive and respected every decision, never offered me the epidural as they knew I didn’t want it, they really encouraged and supported me at every stage, and were not intrusive at all… I am so grateful to my partner and also this course for teaching us both how best to prepare. I’m so proud I managed without any pain relief, as a lot of people had doubted my decision beforehand!! It was a very surreal experience and a dream birth. Thank you for the hypnobirthing course!!!