Birth story - Mhairi and baby Beau

*Trigger warning* - Miscarriage, TMFR, D&C, Anxiety, PTSD, PPROM, NICU

Our baby boy just turned 3 months and I am finally gathering my thoughts to pen his birth story! It’s long, I’m sorry. I tried to edit it I swear 😆

Learning through the Positive Birth Company has allowed me to have 2 wonderful births. The first in Melbourne, in May 2020 during the early months of Covid lockdowns. In my opinion, the biggest impact of the PBC course, was the ability to advocate for myself and my baby. Knowing what was happening in my body during both births allowed me to take control of the situations. My second birth, to our baby boy, ended with a NICU stay which, to be honest and frank, could have been a million times worse if I hadn’t had the ability to stand up for myself. For that, I’ll forever be grateful to the PBC for arming me with those tools. My baby is happy and here and I’m not quite sure he would be if it wasn’t for the PBC 🤍 I fully see this birth as positive and hopefully others will too.

Quick wee history - first pregnancy/birth in 2020 - Lucy Laura ⭐️ I then had 3 pregnancies after this before I fell pregnant with Beau. A missed miscarriage resulting in a D&C in August 2021, a rare type of ectopic pregnancy called a Cornual pregnancy which resulted in a termination in order to save my life in December 2021, and a miscarriage in March 2022 which required no intervention. I then fell pregnant within weeks of the March ‘22 loss and it stuck. My husband thought I was joking when I showed him the positive test 😂 turns out it’s not the falling pregnant part we were having trouble with!

My birth preference was our local birthing centre - was 5 minutes away and the plan (LOLS) was for my mum to head here from France at the start of December. This would give Lucy time to adjust to spending time away from me, and allow me to finish getting organised and hopefully rest (again - LOLS) before bubba came. We had friends locked in as a backup plan, and then a worst case scenario which would be to ask my MIL to fly down and watch Lucy until my mum arrived. With regards to the in-laws, I made it clear in my post partum preferences that in order to protect my space I needed at least 2 weeks home and settled with bub before they visited. Husband agreed…We all know where this is going, right?!

Friday 18th around 8pm I felt a trickle. I knew instantly that this was go time. I shouted my husband in from outside and told him to which he asked “are you sure you haven’t just weed yourself?!” I lost count the amount of times I was asked that same question from multiple people in the hours following…ridiculous 😂 anyhoo. I showered, packed the hospital bags (was on my to do list!) and rang my midwife. I met her at the local women’s hospital where she discovered my cervix was closed and still at the back - she swabbed for fluids to be tested, but before they could be sent off for analysis, there was a change in consultant who said no need to test - it’ll just be ‘secretions’ 😑 least favourite word ever. I internally disagreed and knew I’d be back but off I skipped (there was no skipping…I waddled) back home.

Overnight, tightenings increased, as did water flow and back to the hospital I went the next day. I was admitted after a few hours when they finally agreed that I wasn’t just continuously weeing myself. Obviously the concern here was how early bubs was trying to head earthside. Lots of talk of waiting 48 hours to see what happens, as well as ‘let’s keep bubs in there as long as possible’ chats…meanwhile I *knew* bubba would be here by end of the weekend. Also MIL flew down that afternoon. I had to let it go as, without her, I wouldn’t have my husband with me for my birth and for that, I will always be grateful for her presence.

After an evening of increased tightenings and fluids leaking, I managed to finally fall asleep. I was woken at midnight for OBS to be done and as soon as I stood up out of bed to go pee, there was a huge gush. Once in the bathroom I discovered blood and jumped in the shower as my tightenings quickly turned into full on surges and were pretty powerful. I got back to bed for the nurse to pop me on the CTG monitor - this went on for 2 1/2 hours.

I had previously handed over my birth preferences but it became quickly apparent that no-one had checked them. I asked for a birthing ball to try and move more comfortably, I was told to - and I’m not even joking - “lie still on the bed with my legs together because we want to keep bubs in there as long as possible…” 👀 I laughed at this point. I was also told my surges were “just wee ones” as they were not being registered that strong on the monitor. I *politely* suggested that something was amiss as I was relying on my upbreathing for each surge, and my Freya app did not lie - labour was established by 2:30am.

I asked them to remove me from the monitor as I needed to move as this baby was coming in a matter of hours. They were extremely reluctant and repeatedly left to ask for advice. When they returned and said they wanted to keep bubba in for another few weeks I swallowed my anger - I very clearly explained what was happening in my body, that not only had I done this before but I had complete faith in knowing that my body knew what to do, and was doing what was necessary. My husband was waiting in the car and they needed to get the ball rolling to admit me to the delivery suite asap. By now it was past 5am. They finally relented, contacted my midwife and helped me pack my stuff and brought me a wheelchair. We were off.

I began to wobble ever so slightly at this point as I was still by myself - midwife was on her way, and my husband was in the car waiting to meet me in the delivery suite. At 6am on the 20th I arrived at the delivery suite, where my husband was waiting with a 6 pack of chicken nuggets 😂 my hero. The smell made me want to vom so in the bin they went! My midwife arrived at 6:15 and by that point things were in full flow. I was moving and swaying with my husband putting pressure on my back and reminding me that these surges were only a minute of my life. The best way to work through them and it worked so well with my last birth too.

Due to bubba being so early, I was given a dose of antibiotics and steroids in the hours leading up to him arriving. By the time I got to the delivery suite they insisted they try and get another antibiotic dose but more importantly, a final steroid dose to support bubs lungs. I’ll skip over the majority of this part as its all a bit of a blur as it’s still in my brain being processed - but I agreed to another cervix check only because they were trying to get a cannula in my hand whilst I could feel bubs head descending. Through surges I managed to tell them to hurry the eff up which resulted in the check. They backed off instantly when they saw how close he was. The NICU team entered the room and began prepping for when bubba arrived.

Everyone was pretty calm and relaxed at this point. Next thing we knew it was just myself, my husband and my midwife in the room when a surge brought bubbas head down and out. As bubba was early, NICU were required to administer immediate assessment but at this point they had all decided to pop out the room as they thought I still had time as I was acting so calm 🤣 damn hypnobirthing haha! So bit of a panic then where my midwife had to ask my husband to hit the emergency alarm to get staff back. Another surge and down breathing and I birthed our boys body. I was beyond exhausted, the time was 6:49am.

I was so grateful that I had spoken up when I did or I’d be labouring in the ward without the necessary team. The rest is a bit of a blur from this point. I was hanging over the back of the bed on my knees and just kept asking if baby was ok. Husband got to cut the cord - no delayed clamping obviously but BRAIN being in play we knew it was best - and tell me it was a boy. He was taken over to the other side of the room and I honestly didn’t notice any chaos at this point. Everything seemed calm and under control and they were feeding back to me with snippets of information when they could, asking about his name etc (we had no name!) and telling me what he looked like. My midwife was beyond amazing (and teary I may add!) as she supported me to birth the placenta. I told my husband to stay with bubba which we had previously agreed, but he also kept popping back over to check on me. Due to the speed of the birth and a long skinny baby, I had no tearing which I became grateful for when the NICU visits started!

After a little while Beau was ready to be taken to NICU. He needed a bit of help with breathing which we were pre-warned about so it didn’t come as too much of a shock. The communication from the NICU team was incredible. I got to see him and touch his wee face very briefly before he was taken up to NICU, with my husband following. I had PPROM - Premature Pre-Rupture of Membranes - no apparent reason as to why but at this point the why doesn’t matter.

Beau spent 3 weeks as a “grower and feeder” in the NICU. He started off in room 1 with the highest level of care - surrounded by the most incredible nurses and doctors who went above and beyond to support us in our journey. Leaving him in hospital was the hardest thing I have ever had to do but I knew he was in the best place. Our little warrior smashed all his goals and was allowed home 3 weeks later, with his nasogastric tube which he promptly pulled out several days later. He has just been weighed today at 5.2kg so definitely no issues with his appetite!

Having the skills and knowledge to speak up for myself means that I now get to sit and watch my sleepy boy twitch and smile as he dreams. The sheer existence of the PBC means that we have him home with us, and that is the most positive, magical thing of all ⭐️