Birth story - Mari and baby Llewelyn

My little boy was born at the height of the COVID Pandemic (yes, I'm very late sending this story through, but hoping my experience might help some expecting Mamas out there!)

My waters began to slowly leak at 35 weeks, which I initially ignored - I honestly assumed I was just weeing myself! I was also experiencing mild back ache and cramping but nothing that seemed unusual for so late in pregnancy, so I wasn't too concerned, although I had been telling my husband for a while the baby would be coming soon. Gut instinct!

At 36 weeks, the leaking had increased so much that I started to suspect it was my waters after all, so I phoned the ward and drove myself to the hospital. Once there, I sat in the waiting room for at least 2 hours before a Health Care Assistant noticed me and ensured I was seen. (I had rung the bell a few times, but been told to wait.) When I was eventually let in and examined, it was determined that the fluid was amniotic, and that I was experiencing mild contractions. Unfortunately, due to the baby being earlier than 37 weeks, I was sent to another hospital an hour and a half away, as my local hospital doesn't have provisions to deal with premature birth. I was absolutely gutted about this - the hospital I had planned to birth at has lovely birthing suites with dimmable lighting, birth pools and bluetooth speakers for music; they were sending me to the most clinical and cold environment I can describe!!

Luckily my husband works in the hospital, so I dropped him a message and let him know what was happening. We had a quick hug (in the corridors, he wasn't allowed into the ward at this point due to COVID restrictions) and then off I went by ambulance. I asked if I could go in the car with my husband (obviously I had driven myself there and was feeling mostly fine!) but they were concerned that I could give birth en route.

I had been told that the hospital I was being sent to would want to induce me, so I looked up NICE guidelines and armed myself with all the information I needed to refuse an induction, preferring to wait for things to happen naturally. Once we arrived, however, the consultant said they wouldn't induce before 37 weeks, so I needn't have gotten myself so riled up!

My husband brought my hospital bag to the door, but wasn't allowed any further, so I spent the rest of the day and all night by myself. Perhaps because I had now accepted I was in labour, I began to feel more surges, and knew the baby would be coming before too long. I tried my best to sleep that night, but didn't manage a single wink - I was all alone in an unfamiliar hospital anticipating a premature baby, so despite feeling as calm as I could have under the circumstances, I was too filled with adrenaline and excitement to sleep.

Early the next morning, I felt a pop and my waters properly broke. That's when the surges really ramped up! I used the Freya app to manage my breathing and time them for a while, but eventually they became too intense and I had to put my phone away and focus. Luckily, I was just about able to phone my husband to let him know we were approaching active labour so that he could come back to the hospital.

I hadn't managed to eat, as although they'd brought toast at breakfast time, I was entirely alone and hadn't managed to butter it or take a bite between surges! I was also exhausted from having had no sleep the night before. I had planned to decline internal examinations, preferring to just be left alone, but I ended up consenting without protest as I was told I couldn't have my husband with me until it was established that I was in active labour, and having him there as soon as possible was my priority.

My husband arrived and the staff offered me a wheelchair to move to the labour ward but the idea of sitting down was horrendous to me, so I walked, stopping to squat through each surge on the way. We met the midwives and set up in a birthing room, which was everything I hadn't wanted - white, clinical, filled with medical equipment and staff wearing face masks. However, the breathing techniques and affirmations I'd learned through the Positive Birth Company meant that I was able to put these things to one side and just focus on birthing my baby. I listened to the music on Freya the entire time, and repeated two of the affirmations to myself right through (I'm not sure why those two had stuck with me specifically!) I didn't make a sound, other than to ask my husband for water every now and then between surges. I found I was drifting off and dreaming between each surge - this might have been the gas and air, or the sheer exhaustion of having been awake for around 30 hours by this point! I had two more internal examinations, which I consented to because I had already had one and thought "what's the odds, I don't have the energy to argue." However, I'm now in the third trimester with baby number 2, and plan to prime my husband to advocate for me on this one - lying on my back for each examination was uncomfortable and difficult, and being told how dilated I was and how much longer we had left felt unnecessary and deflating - I would have preferred to just get on with it!

When I reached transition, I began to panic and feel I was struggling, so I asked the midwives to talk me through pain relief options. At this point, I asked my husband's advice and he reminded me that I hadn't wanted anything and was doing really well without, so I agreed to carry on with just gas and air. I realised afterwards that the panic was entirely down to transition - my midwife had warned me this would happen, but in the moment it feels very real!! The downstage began and I changed my breathing to match, and was grateful that the midwives hung back and didn't coach me to push or say anything at all really. I definitely felt the urge to poo, and then suddenly my baby was born!!

I had no tearing (only mild grazing) and the midwife told me I was the most 'calm and in control' person she'd ever seen!!! This is incredible as I'm usually quite a drama queen! I felt empowered as I'd essentially birthed my little boy myself, swaying with each surge and breathing my way through. Despite a premature birth and COVID restrictions making everything more difficult, I entered labour feeling calm, confident and excited - I couldn't have done it without The Positive Birth Company! I'll be utilising all these techniques to birth baby boy number 2 this summer, and will hopefully manage some rest before hand this time to give me the strength to refuse examinations.