Birth story - Margherita and baby Isabella

It took me some time to decide if to share my story or not. The final decision was based on realising how much the stories from other mothers have helped me to prepare for labour and also understand how different everyone’s experience is.

The PBC really helped us with the labour but I think we underestimated the post natal period. Labour is seen as such an intense and amazing event, some even fear it a bit, that a lot of antenatal preparation is focused on it. However, now that I had my child and she is 3 months, I can say not only to prepare for the delivery of the baby but also be informed on what’s going to happen next. Oddly enough labour will last only for a short time, your body will know what to do and if things don’t go to plan you will be in expert hands. The post natal period on the other hand becomes your new life, with a body that is recovering and a baby to look after. But lets start from the beginning of our birth story.

My daughter Isabella was due on the 2nd November. I went on maternity leave mid October giving myself a couple of weeks to finish things at home and starting to prepare for her arrival. I found very helpful the PBC advice on keeping out stress and anxiety caused by the many people that were asking daily updates on progress. I tried to rationalise this thinking that they were asking because they cared about us but unconsciously they were stressing me out a bit. I remember repeating to myself: ‘Isabella will arrive when she is ready.’ I was offered a sweep the week before the due date which I refused and an induction was booked at the last midwife appointment.

However, I knew I would meet my daughter at the right time and, as if by magic, the waters broke at 7.15pm at 40 weeks +5 days whilst something very special was happening. My husband was cooking some dinner and my mum and I were sitting on the couch. My mum was telling me her positive birth story of how I was born. How many of us know our own birth story? I think as mothers we should tell this to our kids. It’s so empowering and eye opening. I felt like a burst of warm water in the middle of my legs and ran to the toilet. It was clear that the waters broke. I heard my mum telling my husband and when I joined them into the kitchen I gave him a big hug. I then said: “no panic! I want to have my dinner first and then go to the hospital. I need energy!” I am glad I did that because little I knew I had to wait more than 18hrs before my next meal!

We quickly ate dinner and then I called triage. No response. I tried again without luck. I decided to call the birth centre and finally someone picked up the phone. After some initial communication issues I am put through to someone who understands what’s going on and advises that I should go to triage directly if they don’t pick up the phone: they said it was likely because they are busy. This statement knocked a bit my confidence not knowing if they would have enough resources to look after myself and my baby once there.

Anyway, we get onto the cab with all our stuff packed and arrive at the hospital where we are sent to triage. The usual checks are carried out in quite an impersonal way which made me feel a bit lonely in what is supposed to be a special event. I didn’t have any contractions yet so they gave me two options: start an induction or go home, monitor if the contradictions start and then come back either after 12 hrs or once the contractions are 3 minutes apart lasting 45/60 seconds each. My husband and I took our time to make a decision, using the BRAIN technique. On one hand we felt quite rushed on the other the idea of getting back on a cab, go home and then jump on another cab later was not that appealing… however, we wanted to give Isabella a chance to arrive when ready so we picked up our stuff and headed back home.

Conscious that it was going to be a long night ahead, I put my PJs on and settled myself in the living room whilst my husband and my mum were getting some rest. At 10.20pm the contractions started like a mild period pain coming and going. I used the Freya app to monitor the timing and breathed through each contraction. The contractions were coming as waves each time a bit stronger. Breathing and counting helped me to know that they were coming but also going. My dog was lying next to me. My husband arrived and sat nearby counting softly. I felt the hand of my mum on my forehead when a strong contraction arrived. I was in the zone. The perception of the surroundings and time was altered from then onwards. It was just me with my body and Isabella, supported by who I love most.

We got to established labour at 2am. My husband called triage and they were surprised I was already at this point. Not sure why?! We collected our bags again (that in the meantime my husband rearranged in bigger and fewer bags following the lesson learnt from the dry run we did earlier: you can’t carry 5 separate bags and look after your pregnant partner!!!) and then we hopped on the cab.

At 2.30am we are admitted to triage and by 3.30am we were settling in our birth centre room. I spent the first couple of hours in the pool. The warm water really helped to soften the strength of the contractions. I was starting the pushing phase. At 5.30am the midwife asked me to leave the pool so she could assess my progress. I was well dilated but I was starting to feel tired. I asked for some gas and air. The midwife informed me that if by 6.30am we haven’t made enough progress she will start some coached pushing. Despite my body was wanting to go to sleep I realised that I had to gather my last energies if I wanted to welcome Isabella into this world. I then decided to move to a more active and engaged position on all fours and help each contraction by consciously pushing.

My husband was next to me counting and offering words of support. I remember waiting for each contraction holding onto the bed headboard and towards the end saying: ‘come on Isabella!’ I then felt the “ring of fire” and started to to do small and quick breaths. The midwife was pushing my perineum to try to avoid tearing. With a final push Isabella was born at 8.26am. I felt her warm and slippery body against my legs.

I remember finally sitting on the bed with my back against a massive pillow. A burst of emotion hit me but I quickly focused on Isabella who was being put on my chest. I started asking in repeat mode: ‘is she ok?’ whilst the midwife was rubbing her back to wake her up a bit…Isabella finally started crying and the midwife said: ‘of course she is fine! Yes!’ That’s great, we did it!

I was really tired by then and Isabella was there in our arms. I really struggled to keep feeling the contractions to my uterus to release the placenta and a bit exhausted I asked for the injection because I was at the limit. The placenta was finally delivered, Isabella released meconium on me and started breastfeeding.

The Positive Birth Company hypnobirthing course gave us the knowledge and tools to live the labour experience with confidence.

As mentioned at the beginning, I personally found the weeks after the birth quite challenging. I thought I would settle into motherhood naturally when actually it’s a whirlwind of emotions and challenges. A new balance needs to be set with a new totally dependent person in your and your partner’s life. Your body is also recovering and unfortunately I had a second degree tear, some bladder issues and Covid which made that period very intense. Luckily I had my husband and my mum there to support me and I will be forever grateful to them for being my perfect team…I couldn’t have done it without them.