Birth story - Louise and baby Molly

I was umming and ahhing about whether to share my story as it wasn't quite what I had hoped for - in fact it was the polar opposite - but I've come to the conclusion it's still positive as I was still in control and didn't feel like it was just happening to me.

A day before Molly came, I felt out of sorts. I couldn't place my finger on what was wrong, I just felt off. The next day I still felt a bit off but figured a good night's sleep would sort me out. Then at 1am I got woken up by a big pop. I wondered what on earth it was until I moved to go to the bathroom and it became really obvious that my waters had gone - there was a lot of water! As it was still 2.5 weeks until my due date, I hadn't packed my hospital bag and the bedside crib for the baby hadn't even arrived! In fact, I'd only just finished work the day before I went into labour. As Molly is my first, I genuinely thought she'd be late as so many first time babies are. So I ended up packing my hospital bag in between contractions.

We stayed at home timing the contractions until about 6am. They were pretty regular and pretty intense from the outset but up breathing and using my birthing ball really helped get me through them. When the pain started to get unmanageable, we called the hospital and were told to come in. When we got there, I was examined and told I was only 1cm dilated. I was absolutely gutted as by this point it was getting incredibly painful. It turned out that Molly had moved and was back to back, which is why it was so painful. After the examination, things really kicked up a notch. The contractions were coming one on top of the other and the only position I found I could stay in was on all fours on the floor. I had to be helped to move onto the bed or onto the ball and that just made it worse. The midwife suggested going home at which point I got a little bit sweary! She then suggested going for a walk until she realised how close the contractions were and that I couldn't actually get up off the floor. My husband and I were fairly insistent we weren't going anywhere and in the end she agreed.

I originally had said in my birth plan that I wanted to use a birth pool but by the time they offered me the opportunity to go into the pool, I was already pretty exhausted having been up most of the night. I recognised that I needed a break so used my BRAIN and asked for an epidural. The relief when they put it in was immense and absolutely what I needed. At this stage, one of the community midwives took over my care and was absolutely brilliant - she stayed with me and my husband the whole afternoon. It was like having our own personal doula. At about 3pm, she examined me and told me that I'd reached 10cm. She said that we'd give it two more hours to let my body keep contracting and keep moving the baby down, then she'd start getting me to push.

Pushing without being able to feel anything was very weird! I had said in my plan that I didn't want to be coached to push, but I 100% needed that help as I couldn't feel anything. My husband and the midwife, were brilliant at coaching me through each contraction. The midwife also helped me get in a position to help create as much space for baby as possible despite being constantly monitored and being unable to move from the bed. After two hours of pushing, the baby started to get stressed. She had shifted into the right position, but her head was a bit swollen from being back to back and struggling to come down. The midwife decided I needed some help and suddenly the room was full of people. The doctors decided that they needed to do an episiotomy and use forceps to get her out. It was at this point I started sobbing and got really scared, even though I knew it was for the best. The midwife was amazing at getting me to breathe through it and helped me to calm down and focus on the fact that within minutes I was going to meet my baby. And then before I knew it, there she was. Molly was born at 7pm exactly. We got to have delayed cord clamping. My husband cut the cord and then we got to have three or four hours of golden time and skin to skin, which was just incredible.

Molly's birth was the polar opposite of what I had wanted but I still felt like I was in control (well, until the very end!) and that the hospital staff, particularly my midwife, were really supportive. Without her support and without knowing I had choices and could express what I wanted, I think it would have been a very different experience.