Birth story - Kayleigh and baby Freya

*Trigger warning* - mention of contractions (not negative for me) use of word pain (again not negative and a reality for me)

I wanted to share my birth story after reading so many on here, and to show how birth can still be really positive even if it doesn’t go remotely as you had planned! I genuinely can’t wait to do it again already, I absolutely loved my birth.

Early labour:

I had a lot of Braxton Hicks (BH) from around 37 weeks on and off. These ramped up in the days leading to my due date and I had many false alarms of thinking it was time. I decided to accept a stretch and sweep on my due date as I felt it might push things along, but was told my cervix was still pretty closed and posterior so it couldn’t be done successfully. It did lead to me losing my mucus plug, however. At 40+3 I had another sweep which was successful, but I was still only around 1/2 a cm dilated. I started to have periods of contractions that felt more like period pains than the BH I had before. I timed these on a few occasions but they always fizzled out to nothing. I used the PBC knowledge of due dates being a total estimate to stay calm in these days, kept busy around the house and tried to boost oxytocin.

It’s also worth mentioning that at my 40+3 appointment I had high blood pressure and was sent to the hospital to be assessed. My midwife told me I’d likely be induced which I wanted to avoid but if there was a medical need I agreed. When we got to the hospital I was monitored for 5 hours but my blood pressure was fine and I was sent home with no mention of induction!

Labour:

At 5am on Wednesday (40+6) I woke up to much stronger period like pains. I went into the lounge, bounced on my ball and started timing them and they were coming anywhere between 10 and 15 minutes apart. At times they increased to around 7 minutes. My partner woke up at 7 and I told him I didn’t think he should go into work as I felt this was it, as they hadn’t fizzled out. They were completely manageable and I stayed home, had a shower and headed to my midwife appointment at 11am to check my blood pressure again. Whilst there I asked for a sweep as I really didn’t want the contractions to ease off again. I was 2cm dilated and my cervix was very soft and stretchy so good signs. After this we went for a walk near the hospital and I had to stop several times as the intensity and frequency of the contractions really ramped up. This continued when we got home so I had a bath and used my tens machine until around 5pm when I felt it was time to go to hospital as we had a 40 minute drive.

On arriving we were given a lovely room on the birthing centre and when I was examined I was a “good” 3, nearly 4cm and got told I could stay! We went for a walk and had dinner in the cafe as things were still manageable. After 3 hours I was assessed again (10:30pm) but was still 3cm. As they needed the room we were offered to go home or go to the ward so I chose to go to the ward as I felt things were getting quite intense. When we got to the ward, things shifted and I started to feel intense pain in my lower back and bum which felt totally different to my contractions. I tried having a bath on the ward but this ramped things up further and at 1am I was starting to struggle. I asked to be examined again and was still 3cm which was gutting as I felt things had got so much more intense. I asked for some pain relief and was given the pethidine. For me this didn’t really relieve the pain but it allowed me to relax and doze off in-between contractions for around 2 hours.

Once the pethidine wore off I was struggling to sit still at all so we were walking around the corridors and I was stopping and breathing through my contractions leaning on my partner for support. I asked the midwife a few times to re examine me as I felt the pethidine had allowed my body to progress but was repeatedly told I was in “early labour” and probably had days of this yet. This was the only negative part of my labour and I couldn’t believe she was telling me this, I thought she must be blind to not see that I was having contractions almost solidly with little break and was really struggling. I think because I was using up breathing she underestimated how intense it was.

At 4:30am a different midwife came in and agreed to examine me - I was 7cm! I was so relieved as she said she would get me to the birth unit as I needed more pain relief and wanted to try the pool.

Due to my previous high blood pressure they told me I had to go to labour ward but was still able to have the pool room which was fine. By this point I thought I didn’t care as long as there was gas and air! The midwife took over an hour to come and get me and the walk there felt as though it took forever, but we eventually made it around 7am. The midwife filled the pool and I started trying the gas and air but it made me feel very sick and I didn’t like the feeling. By this point I’d been in labour for 27 hours and was still having such strong pain in my bum that I said to my partner I really felt I needed an epidural. He was brilliant at checking that was what I wanted and using BRAIN I definitely did as I was really starting to panic and thought there’s no way I could be relaxed enough to push. I told the midwife and it was arranged so quickly which was brilliant and the anaesthetist was lovely. I was told I was likely 10cm by this point and asked if I wanted the epidural still but I still felt as though it was the right choice for me.

The epidural took about an hour to work properly and there was a shift change at 8am. To my delight one of my community midwives walked in who had given me the sweep the day before! It was so lovely to have a familiar face. Things were so calm from here. We all had tea and toast and sat chatting whilst we gave the baby 2 hours to descend naturally. At 11am I was told we would push for 2 hours and see where things were. After 8 contractions and around 30 minutes of pushing with the most amazing encouraging midwife, our baby girl was born! I couldn’t believe how quickly it happened. It was the most amazing feeling of my life and so emotional. We asked another midwife to take photos and she made a video which I still can’t watch without crying!

I had a 2nd degree perineal tear and two labia tears which needed stitching but as I had the epidural I didn’t felt a thing. We had delayed cord clamping and about 2 hours of skin to skin and a first feed which was amazing

I would encourage anyone to listen to their body and advocate for themselves. I was told after the birth due to the position of baby’s head when she came out that she was twisted in the birth canal and pushing pressure back into my bum and the midwives said it was no wonder things were really painful for me. I knew myself something didn’t feel right hence asking to be examined and needing more pain relief. My partner was brilliant at speaking for me when I couldn’t as he knew my preferences too. Don’t be afraid to deviate from your birth plan, mine was the total opposite of what I planned but my decisions allowed me to have a positive experience that I’d do again in a heartbeat