Birth story - Katie and baby Jesse

*Trigger warning* - Contractions (I don't personally find the terminology unhelpful) 2nd degree tear

I work as a Perinatal Mental Health nurse and so spent a lot of my pregnancy hearing the absolute worst birth stories and talking to women about their losses and birth trauma. I love my job but found this incredibly difficult, especially as I had wanted to be a mum so badly for so long but it hadn't been the right time previously. I knew I needed to work hard to get my head into a place where I was able to have the birth experience I wanted. Hypnobirthing and the Positive Birth Company Course definitely without doubt helped me challenge my mindset and shift my head space.

I really loved being pregnant, aside from some low level sickness and indigestion on and off throughout I had no complications. I was overjoyed to be carrying our first baby, and we found out as early as we could we were having a boy. I had a fantastic midwife Reena, who I saw for every appointment - can't stress enough how important this was in my journey and the birth we had. I say this with a heavy heart as I know it isn't the same for everyone. Reena suggested a home birth like it was nothing at our 3rd appointment. I'd always hoped for one but wasn't sure I could with my first baby. My partner was very supportive and also really wanted us to have a home birth, his unwavering support throughout really helped me feel it was possible. I do a lot of wild swimming and swam throughout my pregnancy and so knew and hoped I could have a water birth.

We were all set up for the birth a few weeks in advance. My partner and I had completed the Positive Birth Company Hypnobirthing course and this really gave us both the confidence in having the birth at home as it helped us to understand my body and the processes of labour. I did the birth affirmations daily for months several times I day and I truly believe this to have played a huge part in having the birth we wanted. I was so excited to give birth and remember Siobhan saying this at the beginning of the book and hoping I'd feel this too!

I wanted ylang ylang oil burning as I found that relaxing and had two playlists for the up and down stages of labour. One with Leon Bridges vibes, the other with Beyonce telling me to get in formation. We had hired a birth pool and had our birth box ready from the home birth team. We were all set! I declined the sweeps offered to me from before I was due but had one booked at 41 weeks. I didn't find it terribly helpful focusing on a due date and looked at past 40 weeks being my due period which did seem to take the pressure off.

I was booked for a sweep with my midwife Thursday 02/03/23 but had booked and cancelled three sweeps booked before that as I felt something was telling me to wait. I remember feeling such a strong connection to my body in those last few days before he arrived. On the Wednesday my partner and I went for a walk and a coffee at our local farm shop. I felt uncomfortable and tired but so excited!

We relaxed and watched a film that evening and I started to get low level contractions around 9pm. I had had them on and off before so didn't think too much of it. By 11pm they had intensified but I put on my tens machine and got into bed with my birth affirmations and relaxing music in my headphones. I remember encouraging my partner to sleep, which he did without question 🤣.

Over the next few hours the contractions started to progress and get shorter and shorter. I used the Freya app to time them and called the midwife when the app advised I was in established labour. They advised they would get someone out to me but to get the pool up. I woke my partner up and he got the pool ready whilst I continued to breathe through the contractions using the up breathing methods and the tens machine. We lit candles and our essential oils and got my birth bag into the living room.

I remember getting into the pool at 6am so vividly and made sure I took a video to remember the moment. I burst into tears feeling the most incredible sense of relief and excitement whilst listening to Bonny Light Horsman - Deep in Love. I'd made it this far and I was so excited to meet our baby, I felt so sure in that moment I would have him in the pool in our living room.

The midwives arrived about an hour after I had got in the pool. They were wonderful and made me feel safe. They asked if a student midwife could come, I happily said yes. It was her first birth! The midwives immediately read my birth plan and I felt reassured that they understood my wishes and that I wanted limited monitoring and as little involvement as possible. I encouraged them to take pictures using our phones as I wanted to remember Jesse arriving. Over the next 10 hours I stayed in the pool, I started using gas and air a few hours in which I absolutely loved! I felt euphoric but full of emotion, listening to my music, breathing Jesse down the birth canal, knowing nothing would be the same again.

I asked for a VE at around 2pm and was exhausted by this time so sent Daz off to get fresh mango and was fed spoonfuls of honey by the midwives to keep my sugar up. My midwife Sarah did the VE whilst I was in the pool like a total pro! I remember thinking "what a woman, I love her" 😂, I was 6cm. I was pleased and told myself I just had to keep going. The midwives swapped over shortly afterwards and things started to progressively ramp up after this. I knew I was getting closer. The gas was no longer particularly helpful (the midwives joked afterwards that I'd got through 6 canisters!😂). I asked for another VE and was full dilated by this time 😊😊

I remember feeling Jesse crowning (the midwives took some particularly graphic pictures of this with a mirror 😂), it felt incredible, like nothing else. I apparently shouted out "my arsehole" in panic although this thankfully was fully intact. The next bit is a total blur but he was suddenly there and everything was still. I scooped him out of the pool and lassoed the chord that was wrapped around his neck and held him to my chest. I remember the midwives just smiling and saying congratulations, no fuss, no panic. He was here, I'd done it!!

I had the most magical 40 mins in the pool with Jesse still attached to me. There's some beautiful pictures and videos taken by our student midwife. I will treasure them forever.

The midwives helped me out of the pool and after a few changes of position I naturally delivered the placenta. Following this I had a few stitches, some more gas and Chaka Khan I'm every woman whilst Jesse fed and I lay on the sofa.

The midwives left after completing their checks around 2hrs later. I was amazed. I remember seeing them walk down the path and thinking how incredible it was that my body safely had him at home, as naturally as I'd hoped and that neither of us had to go to hospital for any reason. Just as I'd hoped. Just as my affirmations had told me.

Jesse is now 6 months old and is starting to crawl and grow teeth. My birth experience was magical, powerful, life affirming and I'm so so grateful for the Positive Birth Company Course and my incredible NHS midwives. I can't wait to give birth again and hope I get the chance to have another home birth. I would strongly recommend it to anyone.