LGBTQIA Birth Story - Kate and Baby Jude

We started the digital pack at around 28weeks. We had already done a lot of reading around positive birth and attended local positive birth groups. We decided at about 24 weeks we would like to plan for a home birth and the digital course worked well with that.

I was very lucky and had an easy pregnancy. I felt physically strong and well throughout (after the first 14 weeks of nausea were over). And even managed to cycle to and from work (2.5miles each way) until 35 weeks pregnant. In addition to feeling physically well, I was also very relaxed and positive throughout, which I think was due to the hypnobirthing techniques from the digital course and the many positive birth stories we surrounded ourselves with.

I stopped work at 40weeks + 1 and hoped I wouldn’t have to wait too long to meet my baby. At 40weeks + 6 I went for some complimentary therapies (acupressure and aromatherapy massage) offered at my maternity unit and had an internal examination. I was 1cm dilated and cervix was thinning. At my next midwife appointment at 41weeks + 2 there had been no change in my cervix and I was asked if I wanted to provisionally book a date to be induced. I agreed but knew I was under no pressure to go ahead, if on the day it did not feel right. I booked to be induced at 42weeks exactly.

To try and encourage spontaneous labour I walked a lot, up some steep hills and around the local park. I also visited a herbalist recommended by my midwife and nct teacher and got a herbal mix that is supposed to help labour to start. However, I barely got chance to try it as at 11.55pm on Sunday 24th February I woke up to strong lower back cramps.

I waited in bed for about half an hour to see how they progressed. At about half past midnight I woke my wife to tell her, I thought things may be starting. I found the upbreathing to be really helpful during surges. And at about 1.30am I called the labour unit to tell them I thought I was in early labour and I had already text my primary midwife to let her know. The on call midwife arrived at our house at about 2.30. She monitored my surges for a while and I had an internal examination. I was about 2cm dilated and she was happy to leave me to labour at home and for my wife to start setting up the birth pool. That was perfect for me as all I wanted was to be left alone.

After she left I used the tens machine and my wife began setting up the birth pool and our living room. At 8am my midwife arrived and the surges had become much more regular and intense. Even the tens machine was not helping as much as it had. Once she arrived she monitored the babies heart beat, and timed my surges. After about 45 mins we moved downstairs (which looked beautiful). And I wanted to get in the pool.

I then spent the rest of my labour in the pool from 9am to 12.45. I started using gas and air at about 11.00 to help with the intensity of the surges. I began to get a need to push with the surges, but did not seem to be progressing. On examination I was 9cm dilated but had a small part of the anterior lip of the cervix still blocking the babies head. My midwife was happy for me to carry on in labour and see if it would move of its own accord. At about 12.45 nothing had changed in a while so she suggested trying to sit to the toilet before continuing in the pool. I do not remember how we made it upstairs to the toilet. But once we were in there everything started to happen. As I was sat on the toilet my midwife said the baby was coming and I felt the strongest need to push. I genuinely thought they were going to be born into the toilet. I moved to lean over the bath tub and my midwife quickly got some pads and towels to cover our bathroom floor (we had not planned for the baby to arrive upstairs, so everything was set up in the living room!). I pushed through 2 surges leaning over the bath, with my wife sat in the bath holding me. A change of position was suggested so I turned around and squatted down. With the next surge I pushed and my baby was born right there. It was incredible. He gave a loud cry straight away. And the placenta followed shortly after him.

Overall it was an amazing experience to do it all at home. And we have had the most wonderful start to being a family of three. I genuinely think I would not have had such a beautiful pregnancy and birth without being in this positive birth community and mixing with local positive birth groups, plus the support of our incredible Midwife, who was the first to suggest a home birth.

Thanks so much! I definitely recommend your digital course to all my pregnant friends.