Birth story - Jo and baby Sophia

I’m a doctor - GP and sexual health doctor and I’ve worked a lot in obstetrics and gynaecology. I was always against home births and thought an active third stage was routine and used to say I would want a C-section as soon as I hit 40 weeks because I was scared of the risk of a still birth. Unfortunately many doctors may still feel like this because of our training and we don’t get to see many “normal” births and I certainly had not heard of hypnobirthing.

I went to the baby show in Birmingham and bought the Positive Birth Company’s hypnobirthing book “Practical ways to make your birth better” and the online hypnobirthing course which I found amazing and very informative. I also met the Naked Doula and I spoke with her about my fears. I also read Sarah Wickham’s books on “Inducing Labour” and “In your own time” which are very informative. The information I learned was incredible and I am so grateful to the Naked Doula, The Positive Birth Company and Sarah Wickenham for spreading the word about birth, as without them I wouldn’t have just birthed my first baby, an amazing little girl Sophia, in the most beautiful way. I feel so empowered and will look back at my birth with so much happiness. I felt so powerful that day and the memory and feeling I had will stay with me forever. Thank you so much.

On 15th Sept at 2330 I had a show - thick clear-blood tinged (this kept coming out in bits over the course of the next day). I then started with surges every 6-7 minutes but mild enough to lay down on the couch and close my eyes but not sleep- I did the up breathing - in for 4 and out for 8. I used the Freya app on and off to time surges. Around 7 am I noticed they were getting stronger but still about 6-7 mins apart. I could get on with normal things in between and they would resolve after each set of up breathing x 4.

That day I ate and drank as normal and I was having a few loose poos. I knew that the prostaglandins softening my cervix can give you loose poo. I went for a couple of walks. Walking helped and I have two lovely dachshunds who helped with oxytocin. I found I needed to be upright and holding onto my partner Paul or a unit/table top and swaying side to side with my surges. I just listened to what my body wanted to do. I followed my instincts. I used a TENS machine, paracetamol and continued with the up- breathing technique. The TENS machine offered me a distraction but also a sense of control as I could turn it up and press boost with each surge so I felt I had something to turn to to control the surges rather than them control me.

I updated the midwife led unit throughout the day and night and we agreed as I was coping well to remain at home. Originally I planned for a home birth but currently there is an extreme shortage of ambulances and midwives in our local area and the community midwife team did not feel supported to deliver home births. The midwife lead unit felt the right choice for us. Being a doctor and having worked in the obstetric department it was very familiar so I felt relaxed in this hospital environment. I also knew many of the midwives and felt confident they would deliver the care I wanted and follow my birth plan. I’d planned to get in the bath during early labour but I didn’t want water at this point so just listened to my body and continued to be upright with surges - holding onto Paul and swaying and using my TENS machine and up- breathing.

Around 130am on 17th the surges were stronger and I felt ready to go into the midwife lead unit. I wanted to get there and get into the pool and I was also waiting at home until the pool was available. I didn’t want to be offered pain relief because I didn’t want to feel that they thought I wasn’t coping and needed help. I did not want to doubt myself. I also did not want analgesia that would prevent movement or a water birth and didn’t want anything that could make the baby drowsy that could effect skin to skin and breastfeeding.

The warm water in the pool helped with relaxation between surges. I relaxed instantly in the water. The contractions continued every 5 minutes. On my birth plan I didn’t want any vaginal exams because I didn’t think they would be useful, however the midwife didn’t believe I was in active labour as they were 5 mins apart and I was breathing well through them and she felt I was too calm to be in active labour for my first baby. I took some time between surges and spoke to my partner and used the BRAIN mnemonic to decide what to do. At that point I felt mentally I needed to know I was in active labour so I would have a goal to focus on. I felt the surges were strong so I was convinced I was in active labour. I had been having contractions building in strength every 5 minutes for over 24 hours so I needed to know that this was now active labour as I was concerned if it wasn’t how much more lack of sleep I could manage as I hadn’t slept properly when pregnant and hadn’t slept at all since having an afternoon nap on 15th.

I asked for a vaginal exam. She examined me and I was 5cm dilated so in active labour. I was very happy with this and so got back in the water and continued to breathe through them. Occasionally I felt I needed to stand up and move through a couple of surges and went for a wee in the toilet. I vomited a lot - I think that’s my body’s reaction to strong surges and also it’s normal to happen in labour so I accepted anti-sickness injections twice which were a massive help…… I used the BRAIN mnemonic when deciding whether to have the anti sickness medication also.

The midwifes had handover so I had two different ones during my Labour - both lovely and they both gave Paul and I space to be by ourselves throughout, and stepped in to help when needed. I asked for this in my birth plan and I asked them to talk outside the room so I wasn’t distracted, as even though I felt I was in my own world during surges, I was still able to hear everything going on around me. I asked for quiet and I played relaxing piano music as I struggle to listen to lyrics when concentrating or relaxing.

A few hours later I wanted to know where I was so asked for another vaginal exam as the surges where more powerful. I was 9cm dilated so this gave me the confidence that I was nearly there….. I got out of the pool for the examinations and then got back in the pool after. The surges were getting stronger and I felt like I needed something else to help- I was worried to use gas and air until this point as I was worried it would make me sick and didn’t want to vomit again but I tried it and absolutely loved it. I wouldn’t let anyone take it out of my hand after this. It helped me mainly with my breathing when the surges where more powerful. I kept thinking, ‘just breath for 4-6 times and it will be over and you’ll meet your baby soon,’ and reminding myself ‘this is my body doing its amazing thing’ and it’s not a pain to worry about but it’s my body helping my baby move out.

I held Paul for every surge and he kept reminding me to relax my face and would rub my face and touch my jaw and push gently my shoulders down to help me relax whilst I was breathing. It really helped that he touched my face and shoulders rather than just told me to relax. Having Paul there with me was the biggest form of pain relief for me. He was very supportive throughout. The midwives intermittently listened to my baby’s heart rate every 15 mins. I tried to remain relaxed so baby remained relaxed.

I had read about the “transition point” and I think that’s when I wanted the gas and air as felt I really needed help with surges. I think being aware that I may have a wobble during this “transition period” prepared me and I remained calm. I then noticed the involuntary down surges where my uterus started pushing my baby out. It was a completely different feeling. They were strong but holding Paul and using gas and air helped and I switched to down breathing. My waters hadn’t broken and I felt something between my legs- the amniotic sac was buldging out still intact!!

After a while we were not sure if my baby’s head was moving down much so even though I didn’t want to actively push/hold my breath and push down with the surge as hypnobirthing tells you not to, the midwife suggested I switch positions and try pushing with surges just to get some movement of her head down. She also said I should pass urine or she could put an “in out” catheter in to remove any urine in my bladder incase this was making it harder for her head to come down. I thought about my options. I did not want an “in out” catheter because I did not want to get out of the water and lay down for this. I asked her to examine me again in the water this time to see if she could feel the baby’s head. Fortunately she could and so told me the bladder was not the issue and advised a change in position so I stood in water and leant over Paul and I pushed down with each surge rather than just doing down breathing and it really helped.

I felt her head move down. It’s an odd feeling as I could feel her head moving all the way and I had a few wobble moments but Paul kept me relaxed and focused and told me positive affirmations. I then sat down in the water and I could feel a burning sensation of her head starting to come out which was stingy but I just breathed through and tried to relax which Paul helped with by touching my face, forehead, jaw and shoulders to remind me. I still pushed with contractions but as soon as it got stingy I reminded myself to do this part as slow as possible to try to not tear so I did lots of tiny pulsed breaths out like panting and felt her forehead come out…. I waited for the next surge and the same again…. Nose out….. waited for the next surge and then I felt the chin slowly move out…. Waited for next surge…. and the shoulders were half out and with the next surge she was out in the water!

My baby was so alert that when she was partly out between surges she started moving which was an odd but incredible feeling. I think because I did lots of little breaths and did not push at the end of this stage and allowed her to move out slowly I did not tear. I took my time with this stage. I grabbed my baby out of the water and at first they didn’t cry so I gave lots of rubs and she gave a cry and was very alert and it felt incredible. I checked between the legs and Paul and I could see it was a little girl!! I felt amazing. I held our little girl. I had wished for her for so long and she was here and in my arms. She was born on the 17th September at 1315 and weighed 9 pound 3 ounces.

The whole thing was hard but absolutely amazing. It was very empowering. I wanted delayed cord clamping so I stayed in the water with her until the cord was white and not pulsing and then Paul cut the cord. I then got out of the water onto the bed and began to breast feed. We had skin to skin which was uninterrupted for over an hour before they weighed her. I kept her on my chest the whole time. Paul had her on his chest for skin to skin when they moved me out of pool.

I asked for a physiological third stage, so no drugs, and they recommend allowing an hour to deliver the placenta which was ok as it took 55 minutes for me to deliver my placenta so I didn’t need any drugs to help with this and I lost a normal amount of blood- only 350mls. I consented to them giving my baby a vitamin K injection in her leg.

The experience was amazing. I hope anyone reading this feels positive leading up to theirs. I tried to ignore all the negative stories and believed I would give it all I had and trusted my body and my baby. I felt excited leading up to it.

A few things to mention-

I pood a lot in the pool in the second stage while baby was moving out. It’s not glamorous but I didn’t care at this point. I read that it’s much better for the perineum and not tearing if you eat and drink normally and have a full rectum as it allows rectum and perineum to stretch better so I didn’t care that there was poo in water. Paul said at one point Midwife was looking for the thermometer in the pool but pulled out a bit of poo instead. Sorry if that’s too much information- Paul and I look back and laugh about that!

The role of the birth partner is absolutely massive. I needed Paul with me with every surge. He was helping me relax and reminded me to relax my shoulders and face and touched them to help me - this was so good for me. I wouldn’t let him leave me to go to toilet at one point because I would hold him and it helped me get through surges when they were strong. Paul was incredible.

Sweets were best thing for me when the surges were powerful and lots of drinks. A straw in a bottle was important for my partner to keep giving me sips. Glucose gel sachets may have also been useful but I hadn’t got any.

Trust your instincts and do whatever your body is telling you to help you through…… our bodies are made to do this ❤️❤️❤️❤️

I was having rubbish sleep leading up to Labour. The day I went into Labour I had headed out shopping to look for nursing clothes and a changing bag but when I got there I thought- I need to go home and sleep which I did! I am so glad I did. Listen to your body and instinct xx

Don’t worry about stuff you have not got yet. You don’t need much. I haven’t left the house yet other than to see the midwives. Relax and get yourself in a positive mind space about birth…I hope the above is a bit helpful to anyone reading it.Stay positive and remember our bodies are incredible and made to do this ❤️