Birth story - Jennifer and baby Rose

⚠️ Postpartum haemorrhage, hospital transfer, blood transfusion, neonatal sepsis and TCU/NICU stay.

I look back on the birth of my baby with so much happiness, it was the most incredible experience of my life and I genuinely cannot wait to do it again! ❤️

I woke up at 4am feeling like I had an upset stomach, so rolled out of bed (like a whale) and waddled to the ensuite. The feeling passed so I waddled back to bed, where my husband was now awake asking if I was okay...then the feeling came back, so I lay there and my husband asked 'is the baby coming?' - I told him probably not (ha) and to go back to sleep. I felt odd, so I got Freya out to time the 'cramps' and soon realised they were coming regularly! Woke hubby back up...and all systems go!

Things soon ramped up so I contacted the home birth team around 6am who said they'd come see me in a few hours. I stayed sitting on my bed with Freya doing her thing in the background and using my TENS, whilst husband went downstairs to set up the lounge.

Around 8am I made it downstairs and sat rather uncomfortably on the sofa, I think at this point I started to panic at the strength of the surges and wondered if 1) I could even do this 2) had I been silly to plan a drug free homebirth 3) was baby going to be BBA - born before arrival...🤯 but I listened to the positive affirmations and got back in the green.

Not long after I *thought* I felt like pushing, and out of the increasing panic I asked my partner to call the midwife again. Two of them turned up within 15 minutes around 9:30am and I felt such relief upon seeing them - one of the midwives I recognised from when she scanned me following an episode of reduced foetal movements, so that was nice. I consented to an examination and could have cried when she informed me I was 2cm, 'just 2cm' I thought. Apparently my cervix was like paper and babies head was extremely low which is why I felt that odd pushy feeling. The midwives carried out the rest of the observations and then told me they'd leave me to it as I wasn't 'established', but that they were only a few minutes down the road. This was around 10:30am. I felt a sinking feeling as they went 🥺

I continued to labour on the sofa, letting Freya and her positive affirmations wash over me like I'd done almost every day since 33 weeks. A few times I went in to the red but my husband helped me with my breathing and got me back to green.

Suddenly, I felt a 'pop' and then the gush of my waters breaking. This heightened my anxiety about baby coming before the midwives returned. I carried on for a few more contractions then asked husband to call them about my waters breaking, it had only been around 50 minutes since they'd left, I remember saying 'just get one of them back here, I need to try the gas and air' 😂. The TENS was brilliant for early labour but it was starting to not quite cut the mustard... I asked my hubby to start filling the pool. I continued my 'up breathing', and got back in the zone.

Midwife returned around 11:50, second and final examination found I was 4cm so she would now be staying for the long haul. Wahoooooo! Despite not wanting to use the pool too early for fear it would knock my surges off, I dived in there quicker than an Olympic swimmer on illegal substances 😭😭🤣🤣 the instant relief was incredible. I floated around until I felt less comfortable and asked to try gas and air - which unfortunately didn't do anything for me. Bummer. I remember seeing my midwife reading my birth preferences so knew she'd be 'on my level'. I closed my eyes and relaxed in between the surges, I started to anticipate them coming and welcomed them. I breathed through my surges. I realised 'I can do this', I got excited. I remember looking around the room (which was filled with the afternoon sun - not the dimly lit room I'd imagined, but still comforting) and thinking....my baby will be here soon, surely?

Then boom. Another contraction. But this one was noticeably different. I felt an urge to bear down, the power moved in a different direction. I told my midwife 'that last one felt different' and she just told me to go with it and trust myself (what an angel that midwife was ❤️). I had a few more surges and started the typical 'moo'ing. Freya carried on quietly in the background, I zoned in to the counting and focused on my breathing. In between the surges I heard the midwife calling her second, I think I smiled, I'd soon be meeting my baby, how wonderful.

The pushing stage was my favourite. The discomfort of the surges was wiped out with the uncontrollable urge to push (I remember thinking I must be hurting babies head - it felt like bearing down on a coconut!!🥥. I could feel baby moving down which was incredible. There was no coached pushing as per my birth preferences, I didn't actively 'push', I just went with it.

Then.... Oh my gosh, the ring of fire. With each surge came the need the bear down, I could feel the babies head stretching things and knew I could quite easily use everything I had to get the baby past that point...but during the next surge I remember mumbling 'gently, gently, slowly, slowly'. This carried on for a short while, and with one surge and what I can only describe as a roar 🦁...babies head appeared 👶🏼

I think my zen head lost itself a bit here, as my husband tells me one of the midwives asked if I wanted to fell babies head, and I replied 'no I don't actually, just get it out!!!' 🤣🤣🤣🤣 I could feel baby squirming inside to release their shoulders and then with the next surge my perfect baby Rose entered the world in to a pool of calmness ❤️

I did it. I had my first baby at home, with no unnecessary interventions, no drugs, only love and mother nature ❤️ I felt like a champion.

After a short while floating in the pool, I asked to get out (getting a bit chilly) and made it over to the sofa again. Baby latched whilst they checked for any tears - only 2 grazes. Such a relief. Delivering the placenta was an experience, I hadn't lost any blood still at this point which was explained as the placenta came away - it was all in the membranes like a water balloon 🤣.

The midwives stayed for 4hrs after the birth as things started to go a bit sideways...my heart rate was in triple digits and my blood pressure was in my boots. I didn't feel awful and felt sensible enough to call for help if needed. I was desperate for my birth not to become another transfer statistic. So the midwives, after many rounds of observations and discussions with labour ward, agreed to leave and would call me in 2 hrs to see how I was. Unfortunately, about an hour and 50 mins later I began to haemorrhage clots like tennis balls so called 999 for an ambulance.

The next 3 days consisted of many blood tests, and eventually a blood transfusion. On day 3 of our hospital stay Rose developed severe jaundice requiring phototherapy, then over night went septic. She eventually had a platelet transfusion in NICU and we had a 9 day stay on TCU.

But I'm glad to say she's home, happy and healthy.

We'll never know what the infection was, it's a mystery. But what I do know is that nothing could taint my amazing homebirth and despite the bleed, I will absolutely look to do it again next time, even if it's against advice 🤷‍♀️. The positive birth companies digital hypnobirthing course supported me in making decisions which felt right for me and my baby. I birthed without drugs or interventions. I breathed my baby out. I felt like a queen. I used my 'tool box' to help me achieve the birth I wanted, and then to navigate the rollercoaster afterwards.

Having my baby at home just made sense, my previous midwifery experience gave me the confidence and the PBC helped me achieve it ❤️❤️