Birth story - Jenan and baby Neda

I came across hypnobirthing while watching pregnancy related vlogs on Youtube. Sounded strange at first but I looked into it and loved what I was reading. I went on to buy a couple of books including the positive birth book and mindful hypnobirthing, and the idea of having a home birth just made so much sense to me. My husband and I then watched the PBC videos on YouTube and I thought Siobhan explained things so simply and concisely so I purchased the digital pack which we listened to together every night. I put my positive affirmations up in my room and listened to relaxation tracks every night. We were ready and excited, and although we received a lot of raised eyebrows and ‘omg you’re so brave’ ‘is it safe?’ ‘But why?’ Etc etc re our decision to have a home birth, it didn’t phase us at all and we were confident we were going to have a positive experience no matter what happens.

A couple of days after my due date, I got a bad cold, blocked nose, feeling awful. I started getting anxious that if I went into labour I wouldn’t be able to cope with a blocked nose and no energy as so much of my prep was based on deep breathing through the nose. I hadn’t had any signs whatsoever yet so expected (and sort of hoped) I’d go into labour after 41 weeks. I had a midwife appointment 40+4 and she reassured me that my baby will come when I’m ready and not to worry etc. She offered a sweep but I declined as felt there was no need so early on.

That night around 12am I was in bed watching a video with my husband Aimen and felt a very mild abdominal period type pain twice. I mentioned it but dismissed it and we both went to bed. The sensation kept coming and I felt uncomfortable so couldn’t sleep, figured I’d go to the toilet and that might make me feel better (I thought it was gas haha!). On the toilet before I had let anything loose, I felt a little pop inside and something trickle out. I thought it was my waters, it all appeared clear (phew!). I noticed the sensation developing into a lower back pain, coming in a regular pattern and couldn’t go back to sleep so thought I’d run myself a bath to try and relax as this phase might take a while. I left Aimen to sleep and ran a bath and tried to watch an episode of ‘Would I Lie To You’ which always makes me laugh. Halfway through the episode I noticed I couldn’t really concentrate and the surges were coming initially every 20 minutes and then soon (maybe 2 surges later) every 15 minutes and then soon after every 10. I got dressed, went downstairs to see if I can relax and bounce on my ball for a bit and do some up breathing. I called the home birth team and they advised that what I felt was likely my plug and not waters as I hadn’t had anything trickle since, they advised I put a pad on and keep doing whatever I was doing and to keep them updated if the surges ramped up. The lower back pain was getting quite intense so I went upstairs to wake up Aimen so he can put the TENS machine on my back. This was around 2.30am.

We then went downstairs and Aimen said he’ll start getting the pool ready (I remember thinking naaah it’s way too soon but looking back I’m so glad he did!). Things quickly started to intensify and I kept feeling the urge to do a poo, kept going upstairs but not much was happening (poo wise!) but I found being on the toilet was the most comfortable position to be in at that point.
I then felt a sudden urge to push, panicked a bit and called Aimen back up who brought some towels just in case but nothing was happening although we knew things were progressing pretty quickly.

I managed to get myself downstairs (even this was a mission and I remember thinking good thing I don’t need to go into hospital!) and Aimen was on the phone to the midwives telling them I felt like I wanted to push so to bring someone over as soon as possible.

This pushing feeling kept happening and it was very confusing to me as I didn’t know what stage I was at. I’d put in my birth plan that I didn’t want any internal examinations as I felt they don’t mean much in terms of time and I didn’t want a number to dishearten me.

Speaking of time, I had absolutely no concept of it! Time just flew by and I was just in my own world the whole time. Aimen was timing my contractions for me whilst setting up the pool, calling the midwives, lighting the candles, dimming the lights etc etc (poor guy was running around not able to catch up with it all haha).

Midwives came at around 7.30 am, checked my BP and baby’s heart beat and then said I could get in the pool.

The pool was awesome, I just did my thing, trying to breathe through the surges whilst on all 4s although I admit it was hard at times and Aimen was great at reminding me to lengthen my breaths. I tried gas and air which in all honestly didn’t make much of a difference but I felt the mouthpiece was useful at helping me to control my breathing!I kept repeating the positive affirmations in my head and kept saying out loud ‘I can do this! I am a strong woman!’ And thinking my surges cannot be stronger than me because they ARE me. This made such a huge difference.

At one point the midwife was sneaking a quick peek at me down below and then said ‘oh there’s a head there, where did that come from!’. This was such a massive boost for me. From then on the midwives helped me with the pushing stage. Initially I wanted to just breathe the baby out but the urge to push was so strong I just had to go with it and I did push in the end! I changed position to my side after some time..

I did feel a burning sensation when she crowned but breathed through it and I knew I was so close. 11.57am her head was born in the water which felt like a huuuuuge relief and such an incredible feeling seeing my baby for the first time. 12pm her body was born. The midwives picked her up as I couldn’t reach her, unraveled the cord around her neck and handed her to me.

I cannot tell you how much of a superhero I felt at that moment. Such an overwhelming feeling of happiness, love and felt so empowered!

I had an hour skin to skin, delayed cord clamping and ended up delivering the placenta naturally on the toilet. I had a small 2nd degree tear which to be honest I didn’t care much about (and it healed totally fine, didn’t even burn afterwards). I had gas and air whilst they stitched me up (this was so fine I was cracking jokes during this process!). Within a few hours all 3 of us were in bed together thinking ‘what just happened!! We have a baby!’ 😮

I’m so grateful to have had the most amazing birth experience that I can look back at with a smile on my face. It was so so beautiful. Very intense and hard work but so so amazing!

Thank you to all the lovely ladies here who shared their stories as well and to Siobhan for the amazing course.

Good Luck to all the ladies still expecting, just remember our bodies were built for this. Believe in yourself, you can do this!!! If I could do it, anyone can!

Oh and amazingly, my blocked nose cleared up completely during my labour but annoyingly came back after I had given birth. Funny eh!