Birth story - Jayli and baby boy

*Trigger warning* - Pain, contraction, sickness, induction, injection

A little back story on our chosen birth:

We live in Kent and unfortunately our local hospital currently closed the birth centre and on top of that, after a terrible experience of lack of cleanliness and lack of care from my midwives with my options on where I would like to give birth, I self referred to St Mary’s hospital in London.

So due to this we would be travelling to London from my home which was a two hour journey while in labour.

3 days had passed since my due date and we had our 40 week birth centre check up.

From 37 weeks I had been expressing colostrum, using the Aniball (this definitely works), drinking raspberry leaf tea and using clary sage in the bath, having sex and eating spicy food too. I was positive that the baby would come naturally and had been having lots of little signs that labour was imminent from the tiny period type pains.

On the check up, the midwife asked if I would I like to see if my cervix was ready for a sweep, which would be one of a total of 3 over the course of 5 days, and if that failed then at 42 weeks I would have to be induced, so I decided on this to move things along to avoid induction.

She went in and said I wasn’t dilated and she couldn’t do the sweep as my cervix was not ready so they booked me in for the following week which would be my 41 week check up.

I was heartbroken as I felt my body was ready and my instinct was telling me my baby was well and truly on the way.

That evening, I did my routine again, we ticked all the ‘to do’ boxes and I bounced on my ball watching a movie and used the Aniball again; which I highly recommend, we went to bed and I woke up at 2am with really uncomfortable cramps low down on my tummy. Coming in waves starting at 4 mins and I had my bloody show.

Our midwife advised us to come in when contractions were 2 in 10 and after 3.30am I woke up my partner and we grabbed the Tens and I called my mum.

We set on our two hour journey, and luckily at 3am we managed to get to London in 1 hour and 45 hitting no traffic.

When we arrived at 5.45am she did an examination…and good news was I was 1 cm dilated. I was quite happy with this as the day before she said it would be at least a week before my cervix was ready.

The midwife on the other hand was not happy…”your not in active labour, but as you live so far away and we are empty lets keep you in, go for a walk and here are two codeines.”

So off we set on our stair walk and every 4 mins stopping through contractions.

We decided to head to Tesco for supplies and I started to feel nausea and threw up outside the store reliving my drunken teenager days, so I was then given an anti sickness injection when we came back to labour centre. Around 10am my contractions stopped so I tried to sleep but every hour they kept coming in and checking blood pressure, baby’s heart and I didn’t get much sleep.

5pm we set out to go for a walk around Hyde park to get things moving along, and it seemed to work, but they came back 7 mins a contraction, but continued into the night and I only managed to get 2 hours of sleep. During that time I just imagined meeting my baby and manifesting an easy labour.

8am came and the midwives changed over, I had begged the previous midwife to check how far along I had dilated but she just wouldn’t check and kept saying “You shouldn’t be here till you’re in active labour, we should be sending you home” if you think this hurts now, wait until later” real shitty comments and my partner went out and said “you clearly haven’t read her birth plan, as the first sentence was ‘we would like only positive words to produce oxytocin.”

Then the new midwife came on duty, and it was like meeting an angel, she was immediately positive and wanted to check me which I was so grateful for and she said I was 3 cm dilated and my cervix was paper thin ready to dilate further.

Due to not sleeping for nearly 24 hrs we decided on pethidine so I could get some rest, so every 10 mins I would have a contraction and fall asleep between each one and I slept for 2 hours! it was bliss and exactly what I needed. On waking up and be coming around I felt a pop and, yep, my waters had broke

I was so excited, so it was time to move to the birthing pool room and it was about 5.30pm, the room was magical, I asked if I could get straight in the pool and they said I should wait a little, this is when I used my BRAIN and said my instincts are telling me I need to be in the pool so they popped in some clary sage and for 1 hour I was listening to my zen jungle meditative music from my Spotify list.

My partner managed to capture me meditating through each contraction like a Buddha floating in water.

Within the hour and a half my groans turned to baring down, full on mooing! And the midwives couldn’t believe it, as my active labour had only started an hour and a half before.

‘Change the music please’ it went from meditative to full on girl power music! (Fyi I’m a DJ, music was very important)

I begged for more pain killer aka the epidural like most women do as they get closer to the pushing stage and they convinced me that I could do it and I apparently dropped this and just said ‘ok’ and instantly forgot about it. I can’t remember that part as I was in the zone and just trying to breath down like we had been taught but all the comments “she has a couple of hours” made me think I had to endure this for much longer and I wish no one would have said in front of me.

They were adamant it would still be a few hours, and sadly my midwives had to swap at 8pm and I really wanted them to stay as I was in a groove, however I had a new midwife who had been there for 20 years and she was so experienced, looking back this was a beautiful blessing. She was definitely more relaxed, my partner had to tell her to come over and stop looking at my “damn notes!” The baby was coming and she didn’t need to look at any notes at this point

Within 15 mins looking down at the mirror through the water she saw the head! Omg the baby was coming and fast. And like Siobhan says it felt like pooping literally!

During this time my new midwife directed me to focus and listen to her when to push a little and when to hold a little so I wouldn’t rip or tear. Apparently, my partner said I went from mooing to engaged and shaking to control the birth and within 4 pushes my baby came through the water and I met my little man. Birthed to Music ID:

‘I’m a survivor - Destiny’s child’

After the birth they checked my perineum which was all intact and I only had a tiny graze.

Through positive affirmations, the Freya app and my Aniball, I was able to practice breathing. It was without a doubt the most magical first birth I could have imagined to be and thank god for my angels, my (Midwives).

I am so glad I got the birth I wanted and that I didn’t listen to my first midwives who told me I couldn’t transfer and have the birth that I so desired. You are entitled to the birth you want and this is proof of that!

May you all have a positive birth!