Birth story - Jani and baby Louis

*Trigger warning* - Back to back contractions, 2nd degree tear, baby in distress.

* 01:45, a feeling of wetness - found my mucus plug on my pad, put a towel on the bed and went back to sleep

* 01:45 - 05:45, period-like cramps in the non-pregnant uterus area, and frequent trips to the loo to gently release waters. There was never a slush or anything.

* 05:45, two loud pops between my hip bones on the back (not painful at all) and first intense surge

* 05:45 - 07:00, intense surges back to back

* 07:00 - 08:30, down stage and delivery

Firstly, I'd like to say that reading through this group before my first birth was motivational and helped me have realistic expectations. After the birth, I now only manage to skim the birth dates and check out the cute pictures, but it's so hard to keep this short and sweet. So I'm writing this in chapters with titles!

My baby arrived very safely and positively (no interventions whatsoever), but very fast. This gave me hardly any time to process and get acquainted with the idea that I was giving birth and that I was going to be a mother and have a newborn to care for.

However, I had a *very empowered birth* and here's why:

THE ONSET

Monday was my last day at work, 2 work weeks before the due date. Tuesday morning, the OB/GYN told me I was 2cm effaced and all we needed was for contractions to start. I left in shock as I'd really counted on those last couple weeks to spend with just myself. Thursday early morning, my baby was on his way out and arrived within 2h 45min from the first intense contraction.

ARRIVING AT THE HOSPITAL

Up stage lasted just over one hour and then I could hear myself moo before even leaving for the hospital. Once in the maternity ward, things progressed quickly. I was 9.5cm dilated when the midwife first checked, and within 5min I was 10cm, so she told me I could start pushing. I wasn't really actively doing anything beforehand, just responding to my body. To be honest, I didn't really know what I was doing so I was happy to go to the hospital for this stage as I felt reassured to have experienced people around me to help baby through the birth canal.

THE ROOM

The room was quiet, with only the midwife who walked me in and a second midwife to assist her. My OB/GYN arrived soon after.

I was very aware throughout, and because I didn't have time to print out my birth prefs, I announced them out loud when they came to mind as I laboured.

Midwife was accomodating but only insisted that she'd need the doctor's permission when I refused cintocinon (fake hormones injected to accelerate the delivery of the placenta/afterbirth). I didn't have it in the end. Placenta was pulled out with a gentle tug and a cough.

BREATHING VS PUSHING

Baby was in distress when I arrived, but then settled down. I was trying to avoid pushing and to breathe baby out instead, but it felt like it was taking a long time, so I gave in to the midwife and doctor's cheering me on to push, and just followed their instructions. I remember thinking that I was betraying what I learned on the course, but this is such a difficult exercise when you've never done it before. In that moment, I decided that it was best for me to push while down breathing. I mooed and howled like a wolf throughout haha

POSITION

I instinctively wanted to try to give birth on all fours but this seemed unproductive. Midwife said that when she had me on my side to check dilation (which I don't remember feeling at all), it seemed to her that baby was better able to move down, so she convinced me to try this position and we could go back to all fours if it didn't work. I ended up giving birth lying on my right side.

STRETCHING

The team told me when the head was out that I could reach down and feel it, so I did. This was such a relaxing and grounding gesture. I always respected the contractions and didn't push unless I was on a wave. The feeling of my skin stretching was surprising. I thought I'd only feel it stretch round the perineum, but I could feel my clitoris stretch too. I asked the midwife for olive oil to help. Not sure how much of a difference it made but I had to have stitches on a second degree tear on the perineum. It's much less tragic than I thought!

CORD

Baby eventually got his head through and I can't remember the body coming out, as all of a sudden they were placing my baby on my tummy and wiping him down. I wanted to pull him up to my chest but the cord wasn't long enough. I asked to wait for optimal cord clamping and they did. The father, my partner, cut the cord although he had previously been scared to. So I guess I wasn't the only one feeling empowered!

EMPOWERED

I got to see the placenta and it's amazing. I got the golden hour and had my baby with me 24/7 in the hospital room. I got to say what I wanted and feel heard and respected. I got to decide where and how I wanted my baby to arrive.

BREASTFEEDING

I'd like to add a word of advice on something I felt completely powerless about, and which I deeply regret. I intended to exclusively breastfeed, but things were more complicated for my baby and I, so I just followed other people's advice in the moment. But I regret not having read into BF beforehand so as to know what to expect. It's work. It's not as automatic as it sounds. I recommend La Leche League website and meetings as well as seeing an IBCLC (lactation consultant) before birth!

I wish everyone a great experience!