Birth story - Holly and baby Oscar

*Trigger Warning* - long pushing phase, second degree tear, mention of pain and brief panic during transition.

I’m due with my second baby boy next month so I’ve been revisiting my first birth story to get prepped, and I thought it was time to share! Reading these PBC stories last time really helped me 🥰 It's a long one but a positive one!

My pregnancy was wonderful, the only worry was that scans/measurements/midwives kept telling me that I was having a huge baby! I was worried about going overdue, so we started sweeps and acupuncture at 37 weeks to encourage baby out. He was obviously ready as I went into spontaneous labour at 37+6.

At 3.40am on Friday morning I got up to pee and felt my waters break on the toilet. I stayed in bed and tried to sleep (no luck!), then in the morning texted my midwife and she told me to meet her at maternity at 9am to see what was happening.

At maternity she put me on the monitor and took the baby’s heartbeat. She said that I was already having contractions, but all I could feel were very mild period like cramps. Then she said, “you’ll have a baby tonight” which was very exciting to hear! She told me to go home and rest since I would need the energy to push later on, and to watch a sappy movie like The Notebook to get the oxytocin flowing.

At home I tried to sleep, which was hard because I was so excited. I lay in bed and did hypnotherapy and meditation, trying to ignore my very mild contractions. At around 1pm I got up, mainly because I was bored! I pulled the curtains and watched The Notebook on the couch under a duvet, I used about 50 tissues it was so emotional! 😭 I felt very happy the whole time, with a calm kind of happy anticipation. My partner Oli made me a platter of fruit, nuts and lollies and encouraged me to keep drinking. I put lavender oil in the diffuser and kept rubbing clary sage on my belly. The afternoon passed easily, with my contractions slowly ramping up to become more noticeable, but not painful. I remember that I needed everything to be quiet and calm.

At around 5pm we put the TENS machine on and Oli set up the house with electric tea lights, putting lamps in the bathrooms and keeping everything nice and dark. I started a playlist and began to breathe through my contractions, pressing the Boost button on the TENS when each one came. I didn’t find them particularly painful or intense, but as the night went on they did ramp up and I found that I needed to be prepared, ready with the Boost button and my Freya app to count out the breathing. I liked to be sitting on the couch or kneeling on the floor by the fire. Oli did light touch massage on my back too which really helped.

We kept in touch with the midwife, but she told us not to come in until I couldn’t speak through a contraction. She had said that I should be wanting to throat-punch Oli when we arrive at maternity 😂 and I definitely didn’t feel like that! The app said that I was in established labour a couple of times, with 3 solid long contractions every 10 minutes, but then I would go to the bathroom and I wouldn’t have any for 10 minutes or so. I called to tell her this but she said that I shouldn’t be having any breaks for a good few hours before I could come in. This was a little disheartening and made me feel like I still had a long way to go, and I worried I was only a 1 or 2cm dilated after so long. But I think deep down I knew I was progressing and my body was just handling it well.

By now it was completely dark, just the flickering of the fire and the candles and the calm music which was all lovely. I went and showered to see if that would get things moving, I remember feeling scared to take the TENS machine off as I got in, it was helping so much. The water on my back and belly was magic, I really loved it in there and the water really did feel like it was taking the pain away. The contractions were powerful and quite painful now, but still manageable with breathing. I felt calm and in control, like I could do this. Each one came like a wave, starting as a slow steady intensity in the pit of my belly, and rising up to envelop my entire body. Closing my eyes with the breath really helped.

After a while I got out of the shower and had a contraction without the water or the TENS, and it definitely was a lot harder. Sometime after that I went to the toilet and there was bright red blood which was a bit scary. We called the midwife and she said that it was just my cervix getting ready, and to meet us in maternity. We got everything ready and left home around 11pm.

The drive to maternity was calm, I had my TENS and just kept breathing. We went into the birth room, it was warm, the bath was full and the lights dim. The midwife arrived and gave me a VE, and told me I was 7-8cm dilated! 🥳

I was so happy and relieved when I heard that! I felt like I was progressing, that my body knew what it was doing, and that all the hypnobirthing and breathing and TENS machine were working. She told me baby was sitting sideways, facing my side and not my back, but said that he would probably turn, and when I had contractions I needed to lift one leg to help him.

She asked me if I wanted to get into the pool and said she would run some antibiotics through a drip as it had almost been 24 hours since my waters broke. A nurse came to put the cannula into my wrist, then I stripped off to get into the pool and we took off the TENS machine.

I climbed in and at first the water felt glorious and relaxing on my skin. Then I started to panic (I think this was transition!) at how much the pain was building, it felt SO much more intense than anything up until that point. I had an urgent need to poo and told the midwife I needed to push. She told me to resist the urge, and I remember my body starting to push involuntarily, so she said I could. She told me to remember my breath as I was spinning out, so I tried to focus on that again.

I tried pushing with one foot forward in the pool to help him turn, like a lunge. The contractions kept rolling and she said we needed to get in three good pushes with each one, that I should snatch a breath and then go again, pushing hard while holding the exhale. I reached down and I could feel his head, it felt like it was so close! She kept checking baby's heart rate and saying he was fine, and that was so reassuring. Then she put a bag of fluids through my cannula, and Oli held a cold facecloth against my forehead.

After a while she said we should try pushing on the bed. They asked if I wanted the TENS machine back on and I said YES!! and they all laughed 😅 I tried pushing on the bed for a while but when nothing was happening we moved to the toilet. I kept reaching down to feel his head and thinking that it was still in the same place, but in hindsight he was definitely moving down.

At some point the midwife said that if he wasn’t out soon they would need to start preparing the ambulance to take me to Rotorua (the nearest hospital), as I was approaching 2 hours of pushing time. I think this gave me a burst of adrenaline, and my pushing really stepped up a notch. I definitely found the pushing the hardest part, I read lots of stories from women who enjoyed that stage, but for me it was definitely a challenge!

Then there was a big rolling contraction where I felt the his head move down, and instead of letting him suck back up inside me again I kept pushing: I remember thinking no you don’t, out you go! I pushed with all my might and finally felt his head push through!! Then the midwife told me I needed to walk to the bed and I remember looking at her in disbelief, but I managed to walk to the bed with his head half out of me 🤯

I lay on my side for the last part and definitely felt the ring of fire! Finally she said that his head was out, and with the next push he would be out and up on me. She warned us that he had a bit of a conehead from the long birth process. I pushed one last time and he slid out of me at 2.26am. I looked at Oli and the awe on his face was amazing. He kept saying ‘you did it! You both did it!’

They put Oscar up onto my chest and I couldn’t stop looking at him. I felt so relieved to finally have him in my arms, my main emotion was relief that it was over, and that he was here, safe. I had the injection for my placenta and birthing it felt a lot easier than birthing the baby! I told Oli it was like giving birth to a squid 😆🦑 After he was out I felt total relief.

I had second degree tears which my midwife stitched up after an injection of local anaesthetic. Oscar lay on my chest for an hour and at some point I had a cheese toastie and a milo (I guess that’s the NZ version of the NHS tea and toast!). After a shower I was cozied up in bed with Oscar, clean and dressed in warm PJs, with a massive pad in my undies, and it felt like utter bliss. I was exhausted and happy that it was over, and so in love with my little baby 💗

I found out later that he completely circled my cervix to turn the right way, hence the long pushing stage (2.5 hours), and all of the maternity staff said I did so well to have birthed him vaginally. He also had a 98th percentile head! Oli also told me later that the TENS machine goes up to level 12 and the highest I went was level 3, and I also completely forgot about asking for gas and air!

I really believe that going into it with such a positive mindset and so many hypnobirthing tools allowed me to have such a positive, empowering birth.

To all the mamas-to-be, you’ve got this!