Birth story - Gretchen and baby Carmen

*Trigger warning* - Use of the word ‘contractions,’ discomfort.

PREGNANCY

I had a great pregnancy, pretty nauseous until 20 weeks but we got through it and kept moving forward. I listened to thousands of hours of birth stories and podcasts and read several books in preparation for birth as I am one who likes to have as much information as possible. I was a little fearful of birth and live in the U.S where when you tell others you’re having an unmedicated birth they are often pretty unsupportive and incredulous—but I used the information I was learning and daily affirmations to stay strong and my husband believed in me 100%.

LABOR

On 40+2 I went for a beautiful hike and spent some time with my thoughts wondering who this little girl would be. I felt something in my body shift and contractions started coming but pretty far apart. I spent the rest of the day bouncing on my ball, watching Scrubs, eating popsicles and doing spinning babies with my husband as baby had spent most of 3rd trimester nestled diagonally under my ribs and I felt she needed some help engaging in my pelvis.

I went to bed around 11 and immediately upon lying down contractions ramped up. I couldn’t sleep so I bounced for a while and breathed and woke my husband up around 4 when I felt like I needed a little more support. He helped me time them on the Freya app while I sat in the shower and he let his work know it was baby day! Around 6 am contractions had been 2-3mins apart lasting a minute for an hour so we called the midwife at the hospital and she said it was my choice whether to come in or not. Being a first time mom I didn’t know how I should be feeling so we called my doula (who is my amazing cousin who has had 7 BABIES herself) and headed to the hospital.

I was only 4 cm dilated when we got there so I accepted the plan for a sweep before sending me back home when all of a sudden *POP* the midwife accidentally broke my waters while she was doing the sweep and there was meconium so they had me stay instead of sending me home. I labored for 10 more hours staying UFO until I started to feel her coming down and only pushed for about 30 mins. It felt so good to bare down and move toward my goal of holding her in my arms. My husband stayed by my side through it all and I couldn’t have done it without him believing in me. He caught our daughter and passed her to me and later told me “I had no idea. I didn’t know that’s what it takes to be a mother. I’m so proud of you”)

I think having my waters broken early increased my discomfort—it was a difficult mental game and I felt a lot of shame for how much I struggled. My cousin/doula later told me that on the outside I appeared really calm as I breathed and mooed through each wave but inside I was hurting and comparing myself to all the beautiful, peaceful birth stories I’d listed to.

But guess what

I did it! And I know now that I can do it again. I know that my experience won’t be, and doesn’t need to be, like anyone else’s and looking back I can see how much PBC helped me mentally and physically.

I’m so in awe of each of you powerful women as you share your stories. Thank you for inspiring me with your strength.

Our little glow worm is 3 months old now and just keeps getting better and better.