Birth story - Grace and baby Finn

I am so thankful for my birth story and know how different things might have been in the midst of Covid lockdown no.1 and without hypnobirthing. Dear friends of mine have gone through labour, days on post natal wards and also tragic miscarriage in hospitals all alone. To say I feel blessed is an understatement and I don’t take it for granted.

At 38 weeks I had an ECV procedure as my baby was breech. This was a very stressful time as I was desperate to avoid a cesarean. Thankfully it was successful and I am so glad I decided to have the ECV after a week of all sorts of horrible exercises to try and turn the baby naturally.

3 days after my “due date”, with not one hint of labour being imminent, I woke in the night with pressure and discomfort in my lower back. In the morning the pressure continued and started to feel a bit more like period cramps.

By 11.30am I told my husband, Toby, that it felt like it could be something! I started using Freya to time the cramps whilst sat on the downstairs toilet. It told me I was in established labour pretty much straight away, I couldn’t believe it! I also had Freya play the head and face relaxation and positive affirmation scripts repeatedly throughout labour. The continuity and familiarity really helped me stay focused, relaxed and in the zone.

Toby chatted to the midwife who said it would likely be a while so to just keep going on our own and call when surges were 1 min apart.

Cramps became surges and quickly ramped up in intensity. I reminded myself about what my body was doing, how the muscles were moving up and doing a great job.

I had to hold onto the towel rail on the really big ones! Breathing was sometimes easy to control, other times so hard but I managed to get back to green in between pretty much every surge. I am very proud of myself for this as I was alone and coping pretty darn well!

I really needed Toby after a while but he was whizzing round sorting the dining/birthing room! He started filling the pool early thankfully.

I managed to stagger to the dining room and lean over the exercise ball as the surges continued.

By this point Toby was thankfully by my side. He rubbed my back, which was lovely, and just kept saying nice things and timing the surges for me. It all felt very intense. I just remember thinking that things better be progressing as fast as it felt, because I defo couldn’t do 24hours + like this!!

Toby kept calling the midwives to update them, I knew they needed to hurry up!

I felt the transition just before the midwife arrived. It was a moment of glorious peace and stillness, longer than the normal gap between surges. Then it was over and my body changed to bearing down, not pushing so much but just felt very different to the up stage.

At this point I urgently said, as Toby was on the phone, “where are they I’m starting to push!!”

Finally the midwife arrived. She wanted to examine me. I thought, if I’m not ready to push something has gone wrong and I won’t be able to keep going much longer...

She said I was 8cm, I was pleased but thought hmm I reckon I’m 10!

She asked if I wanted to get in the pool and I said YES!

The relief getting into the water was amazing. Everything I’d hoped it would be.

I got on my knees and leant over the side of the pool. Toby was saying super supportive things and I remember he said  “we’ll get to meet our baby soon”, that was wonderful and spurred me on.

The surges were different and pretty intense right away in the down stage. As with the up stage, some were manageable and controllable, others were SO hard to mentally stay strong through. I could feel my body starting to push but couldn’t feel the head bobbing down and up right away which I remembered would happen.

The midwife told me not to push, to use my breathing and send the breath away. I tried to imagine a balloon being blown away. Some surges this was fine, some it was tough to say the least. It is probably the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do mentally, everything in my body just wanted to push!

After what felt like so many surges, but probably wasn’t actually that long, she said I could follow my body. Eventually I could feel the head coming down then back up followed by the grim ring(s) of fire that felt like they would never end! Eventually the head was out, the oddest feeling everrrrr. And they asked if I wanted to touch it, nope. And then with the next surge or two he was born!!

My eyes were tight shut through every surge. And still shut after he was born, they had to say quite loudly, “Grace look down and pick up your baby!”. One of the most surreal moments of my life, watching this tiny baby float towards me. I scooped him up, he was nowhere near as purple as I’d expected haha!

We had delayed cord cutting and I delivered the placenta naturally, not very pleasant but over quite quickly. Skin to skin was lovely and he latched straight away which was a relief.

I asked the midwife if we’d have to go to hospital and she said why on earth would we need to do that?! I was chuffed.

The midwives left us to it for a bit then which was lush. I could also take in how lovely the room was as my eyes had been shut through most of labour! We gave him his name, Finn James, and were in blissful shock at what had just happened.

Thankful to say no tears, just a few small grazes. I am still feeling incredibly blessed to have had such a wonderful, gentle and quick labour and feel so proud of what our bodies are capable of. I can’t quite believe I had the home, water and natural birth I had hoped for. No pain medication or gas and air, just joyful hormones for the next 48hours.

Having a shower and getting into my own bed was amazing and that’s when I noticed how stinking cute Finn is!

My husband did an absolutely wonderous job at sorting everything practically and also supporting me. He truly was my hero! He also felt so pleased to have a proper role in the labour and didn’t feel lost or clueless.

The only thing I wish I’d felt more prepped for was the blood loss. Possibly made worse being at home rather than in hospital because it was all our towels etc. I didn’t lose anymore than is expected but suffered pretty badly from anaemia for the first three weeks of Finn’s life which was grim and a real shame.

I also wish I’d thought through how I’d make myself comfortable once out of the pool after the birth because I was lying on the floor for a fair while afterwards very uncomfortably.

You’d never have known there was a global pandemic going on outside!! I felt on cloud 9 and am incredibly thankful to the Positive Birthing Company. Without you I’d never have considered a home birth or understood what labour really entails and I am certain it would have resulted in a completely different birth experience. I credit hypnobirthing (and a huge amount of prayer!) to how I stayed so calm, in control and rational throughout labour and the weeks leading up to it. Thank you SO much!