Birth story - Francesca and baby Goldie

My first daughter was born 2 years prior via planned C-section at 39 weeks due to being breech (I have a heart shaped uterus). I spent most of this pregnancy expecting the same situation again and was quite glad of this as was very scared of labour and my C-section had been a good experience. As the pregnancy progressed, it was appearing much to my surprise that this little lady was head down. I secretly wanted to opt for a C-section as this was what I knew but also felt that the right thing to do was a VBAC as I had no medical reason to have a C-section. Plus, I knew I wanted a third child and did not fancy three C-sections under my belt (literally haha).

In order to help me come to this decision I decided the best thing to do was educate myself on birth and try to take away my fear... hence why I started hypnobirthing. I did a £50 course at the hospital which was not great. It was quite cringe and my husband couldn’t take it seriously (and I didn’t enjoy him stroking my face with sausage roll smelling hands in front of a load of strangers). I did however read the provided Katherine Greaves book during the last week of the course and started to understand the importance of a natural mammal birth. I forced and nagged my husband to read it and then he was the one that actually directed me to the positive birth Instagram page and kept encouraging me to download Freya like he already had. I enjoyed the Instagram posts and then when the special £12 birthday offer was on, I purchased the digital pack. I was so so glad I did and enjoyed discussing it with anyone that would listen and stocking up my labour bag with room spray, candles, eye masks and oils. By this point I knew I had decided on a VBAC and actually became quite determined. I am very grateful to the digital pack for that.

So the birth! Having booked in a C section for 12 days ‘overdue’ I was feeling really fed up at 40 weeks.
I had been having pre labour symptoms for a while including painful Braxton Hicks so was convinced she was going to come early. I also had one night of really painful cramps and braxton hicks which I thought was the start of surges for a few hours and was then very disappointed to wake up several hours later in the morning with nothing. I had a midwife app that morning and accepted a sweep (I never planned to) mainly as I was intrigued to see if it had been the start of anything. It potentially had as my cervix was far back but she thought 1cm dialated.

Then 7pm it started. They were every 10 mins apart and I used Freya. We thought not much would happen until the next morning so debated whether to get my parents around to take my daughter for the night before she went to sleep. We decided to...I’m glad we did! We both headed to bed early after she had left hoping to get some sleep before it ramped up. Weirdly my surges slowed a bit and I managed about half an hour sleep between a couple. Then I woke my husband and asked him to call the hospital at 11:30pm when they ramped up in intensity and were every 5 mins. They said I could come in now or wait... I decided to wait... an hour later, and after several dodgy stomachs and 2 water gushes and lots of vomit, I decided to call my mum to take us in.

Not going to lie, my hypnobirthing went a bit out the window from here and it took us over a hour to leave the house due to my bodily functions and being very slow and wanting to keep lying down. Sick bowl and towels in place in my mums (new!) car, we eventually headed in. I was pretty collected at this time which I think was down to focusing and timing my surges which felt like a big job but gave me a distraction and purpose. I took it very seriously!

We arrived and everything happened so fast yet so slow at the same time. I had to be monitored to begin with, for at least 20 minutes, and I ended up lying on my back very uncomfortable for this. I didn’t think to ask to change position or anything as just kept thinking that this is half an hour of my hours and hours of labour ahead. Once monitoring was deemed ok they examined me and said I was 4cm dilated and in established labour (last gush of waters popped in her face at this point too) and said they would prepare me a room in delivery suite. Apparently this took a while but I don’t remember this.

We arrived in there about 2am, I think, so without even realising I was labouring for all this time on my back thinking it was just a brief in between time. I should have been more assertive but I also wish they’d read my birthing preferences. They said we’d discuss pain relief when I got to deliver suite. I said I just wanted gas and air but would maybe consider pethidine if it gets me some sleep. Well, there was no time for that. As soon as we arrived I started the need to push and the midwife said no time for anything. My back was really hurting now, from my awkward lying on the bed, so I lent over the top of the bed for ages pushing. This went on for a couple of hours overall and I got tired, my lanky weak legs simply couldn’t handle it much longer and the midwife kept encouraging me to go on back where I could push better with the counter pressure of foot plates.

Baby’s head had been bulging for a while and her heart was starting to struggle a little. I wasn’t happy about it but was an obedient patient and went with it. To be fair, it did help me start doing some big pushes and my husband said it helped. In hindsight I realise I was holding off pushing with all my might. The midwife then asked if she could give me a small cut and I said do whatever you need to do. Then it was only a matter of time before she came out at 4:10am. I remember thinking it felt really weird when the shoulders came out

Apparently she was born with her hand across her face (just like my husband was!) I didn’t feel overwhelming emotional or powerful like some people speak of on here, but in shock. I was very dehydrated from my sickness and exhausted from an all night labour and felt out of it and all I could focus on was how rough I felt. We had delayed cord clamping (something I was so sad to miss out on with C section) and skin to skin. I opted for the injection for my placenta, due to family history of haemorrhage, and I got through the placenta delivery and my stitches with gas and air which I went to town on now and realised I hadn’t been using it properly before! I was then very sick again and nearly passed out getting in the bath. To be honest I found the time after the birth the hardest as I felt so odd and far from euphoric.

My birth felt so quick (I guess it was fairly quick for a first time labour) and I didn’t even get a chance to touch our hospital bags until after she was born so no candles, room spray or labour outfit change and I am not sure how much hypnobirthing I actually used in the end... it all happened in such a quick whirlwind I never felt I had a spare moment to get myself in the zone! However, I am SO grateful for how hypnobirthing educated me and changed my attitude to birth completely. I found my experience of birth overall positive and feel even more educated and empowered for (hopefully) next time.

Things I learned and would like to pass on:
-birth plan and asking your birth partner to be assertive are really important as when your body takes over it’s hard to communicate and easy to just go with what the midwife advises.

-it’s ok if you don’t feel euphoric or like a superwoman straight after giving birth.

-Be proud of your birth whatever the outcome and for your own reasons. I’m proud of my VBAC not because ‘I did it the natural way’ but because I made an informed decision and went into birth educated and as ready as I could have been.