Birth story - Emma and baby Finley

Pregnancy:

When I discovered I was pregnant, it was one of the happiest days of my life. I had suffered with tokophobia for years and at times thought I would never have a baby due to my fear. When I found out about Positive Birth Company, it opened a door for me and made me realise that the fear could be overcome. Knowing there was a resource such as PBC gave me the confidence to pursue my dream of being a mother, so thank you for this. Knowledge is power as they say and it couldn't be more true.

My pregnancy was textbook, after a few weeks of nausea I felt great, other than the odd ache and becoming a bit anaemic towards the end. After all my worries, I actually loved being pregnant! The development of my baby was just fascinating to me - it was just the most wonderful experience.

The first and only "bump" in the road was at my 38 week check up, when my midwife couldn't find the baby's heartbeat in my lower abdomen. I was sure baby had dropped so it was clear when I was checked that baby's head was not where it should be. The midwife suspected baby was breech and referred me for a presentation scan. We had to wait until the next day and I was worried sick. Sure enough, within a few seconds of scanning me the following day, it was clear baby's head was very much still up against my ribs (this would explain why I was still struggling to breathe at 38 + 2!). Baby was Frank Breech, so we were referred to a consultant to discuss our options.

The presentation scan also indicated that baby was 8lb 12 oz. I am pretty small, so this was a surprise. During my discussion with the consultant I was advised they could try an ECV to turn the baby at 39 weeks, which if successful would be followed by immediate induction because of baby's estimated size. I did not have the option of a breech vaginal birth because the local hospital do not have the required team. The other option would be to proceed with an elective caesarean.

Using my B.R.A.I.N it was clear to me that ECV at 39 weeks carried far too great a risk to the baby and to me. Induction, if the ECV was successful, also carried the risk of an emergency c-section due to baby's estimated size. In the end, I determined that the elective c-section was the safest option. At the end of the day I just wanted my baby here safe and well. The c-section was booked for 39 weeks to ensure that I didn't go into labour, as this could have been problematic. I then went home and cried my eyes out. I had spent so many weeks preparing for a natural birth, it hit me quite hard emotionally and there was definitely a surprising feeling of grief that I would not have my planned birth, but in the end, I needn't have felt that way.

The big day:

My husband and I had a nice relaxing evening the night before with a good movie for our last night on our own. It really was lovely. It is true what they say, because you know when baby will be born, it is like Christmas x1000. The day of the c-section was surreal but equally amazing. I spent the morning listening to some of my favourite music to keep me in the zone. We arrived at 7.45am and were taken into the recovery ward. The elective c-section team were incredible, they could not do enough to put me at ease, they were warm, friendly and relaxed, it really helped me keep my cool.

When the time came, we were fetched by a wonderful midwife called Cara who walked me into theatre. Due to the rules of the local healthboard, we were not allowed dimmed lights, or tea lights etc, but they did keep the radio on for me. I honestly didn't mind by this stage. I did find the brightness of the theatre triggering and did find myself in a bit of a panic as I was worried about being numb from the anaesthetic (loss of control freaks me out), but using up breathing and with the support of Cara I was able to keep calm for the spinal. Once they were sure the spinal had taken effect the procedure was really quick, just a bit of sensation of the surgery, no pain at all, and before I knew it, I heard my baby cry. It was both surreal and incredible - I had done it, I was finally a mum!

Daddy got to hold baby first while the team worked to stitch me up. Although everything went smoothly I wasn't feeling great and they explained I had suffered a 2.5 pint blood loss with the detachment of the placenta, but it had been resolved so quickly, if they hadn't told me I'd be none the wiser. I can't help but wonder what would have happened if I'd given birth naturally, and it reinforced that my decision was the right one for me. Once I was stitched up I was transferred on to a bed and baby was placed on me for skin to skin. It was just amazing and I quickly felt so much better. We then returned to the recovery ward for the best cup of tea I've ever had! All done in just over an hour.

The postnatal team were quick to get me up on my feet later that day and I was discharged with baby 24hrs later. We have now spent 3 wonderful weeks at home together and my recovery is going amazingly well - I sometimes wonder if I really gave birth! Despite things not going as planned, the PBC course helped me to ask the right questions so I could make an informed decision and it helped me feel calm in the heat of the moment. For that I am so grateful!