Birth story - Emily and baby Luna

This will be a long one, so pull up a chair, grab a cushion and cup of tea. I loved reading everyone's birth stories and supper excited I can share mine.

I started to hear more and more about hypnobirthing 2 or so years ago. I knew when we decided to have another baby that hypnobirthing was something I wanted to look into. And loved the fact the positive birth company had an affordable online course.

My first pregnancy and labour was hard and not a pleasant experience. I ended up in therapy and doing Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) due to my anxiety, depression and Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). My daughter (Aurora) was diagnosed with a condition when I was 12 weeks pregnant with her. I got in to a bad place mentally from then on, and as I was told I would have to have her in a specific hospital etc, I never realised I could have had more say in the birth or at least how I could have laboured a little differently.

I purchased the online course at around 34 weeks (during the £12 sale a bl**dy bargain). I was eager to start ASAP to really get the most from it and set my anxiety at bay. I had watched all the videos within a couple of days. My husband listened along to a few, and then had them playing in the background while doing some baby home bits so he ended up listening to them all. He couldn’t be singing hypnobirthing praises more to everyone since the birth. I started listening to the mp3s at night and found these really helped me feel calm and positive, and I had much better nights sleep when I played them. I noticed a difference if I had forgotten.

At 38+3 I went into the latent phase of labour. But had my second episode of reduced movement. (baby was a keen wriggler from the start, like something out of Alien). I was assessed and advised I was having mild surges and was around 2cm dilated. They offered a sweep and using BRAIN husband and I talked about it and accepted as we were advised if I had a 3rd reduced movement this would mean induction. We went home after and tried to help things along in all the well known ways, walks, hot food, sex. The next day 38+4 I started loosing my plug but it wasn't bloody.

At 39+4 I started having surges in the morning, these were manageable but I was being sick. By 10pm I hadn't managed to keep anything down, and was in hospital with a IV drip for exhaustion and dehydration. I was told this had stopped labour progressing. By morning my hydration levels were back up and I was given another sweep (this resulted in more show this time bloody) to try and help my body get started again.

At 40+4, after days of on off surges, and backache. I spent the day bouncing on my ball with my tens machine on. Baby was moving lots, and I had to keep reminding myself that baby would come when she was ready.

At 40+5, during one of my many in the night wees, I noticed that I couldn’t feel baby move as much. By morning she was still not kick boxing me. I had a sugary drink and food and did the things that normally resulted in a kick or a nudge telling off, like bending over. Still nothing by noon, my husband at this point decided it was best to call the triage. This was episode no 3 of reduced movement, and I had had a bloody show, along with what I called very mild irregular surges. We were asked in and this time to bring bags and a car seat.

Once at the hospital I was popped on the monitor, baby’s heart was perfect, she had a few movements and I was told that I was experiencing more surges than I had realised. The Dr came and we were advised that they wanted to induce me, the midwife was so good and had been asking me all about my previous birth, and about my hypnobirthing. I was examined and found to be 3cm dilated, with a thinned cervix and bulging waters. My husband and I used BRAIN with the midwife and came up with an induction plan. She knew I really wanted to keep away from the drip induction and had my heart set on labouring in the water with a waterbirth. And minimal pain relief.

We opted for a 6 hour pessary to be inserted and to wait to see how this did and then go with breaking waters and have 2-4 hours to get labour progressing more if need be. After this the consultant would want to use the drip.

12pm the pessary was inserted. Husband and I went for walk and something to eat locally. Things were going well, I could feel surges coming a bit more frequent and walking was definitely more of a slow waddle. We then went back to the ward, I bounced on the ball and this helped ramp things up. I had to pop my tens machine on, and use my up breathing during the surges. Having head phones and being able to block out other people really helped, I started listening to songs that made me want to dance and be happy, and would bounce to the music. I then got bored and had 2 hours left until my examination and waters being broke. So my husband and I went for a walk. We aimed to go rather far around the hospital grounds, but only managed around 10 minutes as the surges were now causing me to stop for a moment to up breath through them until I was good and could walk on.

The sensation had moved from my tummy to deep down in my vagina. Then I had a very intense heavy period feeling, and struggled to stay standing upright through it. Comically my husband had been deep in conversation, and in the mission for us to keep walking to help me get the labour I wanted. He hadn't noticed I had stopped and I wasn't able to say anything through two surges that came back to back. I remember him turning and calling back "come on we need to keep moving" then seeing the realisation on his face and him running back to my side. I had another surge clinging on to him and he said we had to make our way back. This took longer as the surges were coming closer and closer together and we struggled to monitor them as there didn't feel like a start or end.

Once back in ward I noticed a lot of heavy bloody discharge in my pad but the midwife was not concerned. I now couldn’t sit or bounce on the ball and was standing swaying with my tens still on at the end of the bed. I had to alternate listening to the positive affirmations and spa music.

I did this for around 20 mins and then my 6 hours was up and I had to get on my back for my waters to be broken. This was not enjoyable and by far the worst part for me. I was only 4 cm dilated and at this point I cried as I was very disappointed that I felt I was struggling with my surges and only 4cm. I also worried that I may end up on the drip. My husband was soo supportive and calmed me down from Red to Green.

Once my waters were broke, I really needed a wee, and had back to back surges on the way to and from the toilet, while on the toilet I had a moment when I thought I need a poo.

Our baby needed to be monitored, I tried to perch on the bed but this was soo uncomfortable, I found some comfort in bending over the bed with my head resting on pillows. This meant my pour midwife had to crouch down under me holding the monitor in place as they couldn't get baby heart beat any other way.

This is when things ramped up. It was 7.20pm (hind site I was transitioning) my surges were coming think and fast there was almost no rest. I kept saying how I couldn't do this. That I was struggling. I was sweating and just couldn't find any comfort or moment of release. My husband started telling me positive affirmations. My breathing started to go out the window. I couldn’t keep to the 4in and 8out so just went with what felt good. My track of time goes here, I remember hearing someone say the bath was being run and once ready I would make my way round.

It couldn't have been long after this that suddenly my body took over I let out the most primal noise I have ever heard and my legs squatted on their own accord. I then shouted I'm bearing down! I heard midwife on knees with monitor say "she way just examined and only 4cm correct" to my husband. I then had another primal noise and heard "get the midwifes now" my husband stumbling over our bags and in seconds I'm bend over a wheelchair backwards and being taken to my birth room.

The bath was only filled to the ankles at this point so I wasn't able to get in. I asked for gas and air, and was asking for my husband who was running around the room making it darker and putting out tea lights, I didn't notice these during birth but was very thankful he had during our golden hour.

I birthed on my knees leaning over the back of the bed, and just went with my body. I had struggled with down breathing during my poo practices at home, but had no problem in birth. I felt my baby going down and bobbing back up a little. I had a few surges like this, then midwife who had been wonderful at letting me just do my own thing said that I had to push. (turns out they couldn’t find baby heart beat on the monitor) Lucky another surge was coming and I used this to down breath and then continued to push as hard as I could. With this her face appeared and she let out a little cry (apparently this isn't common) which my husband saw. Then on the next surge her head was born (I asked if that was all of her our yet, gas and air taking over) and I commented on the ring of fire. On the next surge she was out and passed through to me. At 8:27pm. I had skin to skin for 20 or so minuets, I then past her to her dad for skin to skin as I birthed the placenta.

As her hand was by her face I ended up with needing four stiches to the labia via local anaesthetic. It's true what they say you don't feel it until your told.

I am in awe of women and what our bodies do, the feeling of birthing my daughter was amazing and I wouldn't describe as painful just intense and out of this world. I'm soo thankful for the positive birth company and hypnobirthing. I will be recommending it to everyone.

Aurora is chuffed and couldn't be more smitten with being a big sister and loves her little sister "so much I don't no the way to say it mummy". She even makes up lullabies to sing to Luna.

Luna is such a chilled, calm and peaceful baby and has been from the moment she was born. I can only put this down to the clam and positive way she was brought into the world.

Thank you positive birth company, I may not have gotten my waterbirth but I still had the most amazing positive birth experience and look back and can't believe I did it without fear or anxiety. I would do it all again even though we only plan on having 2 children... I'll never say never after this experience.