Birth story - Elsa and baby Olga

Berlin, Germany

*Possible Triggers* - Quick birth without medical assistance, mention of previous birth

Pregnancy & birth preferences

I am only five days post partum as I write this. I feel that I have just gone through one of the most incredible, healing and empowering experiences of my life.

There is not too much to mention about my pregnancy. It was uncomplicated, besides an infection followed by a bleeding in the first trimester. The big difference from my first pregnancy is that this time I spent a considerable amount of time educating myself in all possible ways about child birth. In 2019 I had a 24-hour birth at hospital with epidural and oxytocin drip. Post partum I suffered epidural migraines. The experience of my first birth made me dedicated to having a very different second one.

I live in Berlin with my husband Alex and our son. Almost immediately when I was pregnant, I started the search for a midwife who could attend my birth, whether at home or at hospital--what is known as a Beleg-Hebamme. I discussed with Rike, my midwife (the one who does perinatal and postnatal care) fears stemming from the previous birth. She suggested I look into a home birth as she thought this might suit me. At first I wasn´t sure, but then my best friend had a lovely home birth in March and now my courage grew!

Preparations that I loved were: the PBC online course, spinning babies exercises and a book on hypnobirthing by Katherine Graves. I also found bi-weekly acupuncture sessions and daily meditation very helpful. In May I finally found a midwife who does both hospital and home births and she was open to help us do both, whatever would feel right to us on the day. However, we soon tended toward a homebirth, hiring a birthpool and tens machine. And the closer I got to due date, I felt strongly that a home birth was what I wanted.

About four weeks before due date, I started to get regular contractions, stronger and more regular than Braxton Hicks. They were often accompanied with frequent loo trips. I hardly gained any weight in those last weeks due to so much bowl movement. To start with (the first week), I found these contractions + emptying of the bowls most confusing, but I came to accept that this all might continue for up to 5 weeks, and I must relax and see each day as a "staycation". In my first pregnancy I drank a very potent ginger shot at 39+6, which I believe set off labor. This time I decided to do nothing to bring on labor as I believe that "self induction" was one of the reasons I had had such long labor.

Actual Day

Thursday the 12th of August was a nice and active day. The one thing in my calendar was a lunch date with my friend Nikki in Kreuzberg. I was late for my date and took the bicycle instead of walking--a pretty bumpy ride and in total I spent 1-2 hours on the bike back and forth! That five or six people texted me that day to see if baby had arrived was a bit annoying when I felt sure I had at least another week to go. I also didn´t feel I looked ready to pop (I wasn´t swollen and had no water retention, something I now thank the acupuncture for). I spent the afternoon chilling at home, made a bolognese for my son and Alex, all while mild contractions continued. As that had been the case for the last three weeks I didn´t think much of, it. However, after having put my son to bed I noticed they had become more regular and were coming at closer intervals. At 9 pm we put on "American pie" though I realized the contractions were stronger than ever.

At 9.15pm I told my husband I would try to sleep in case things would start in the night or morning. At 9.30 I knew I would not be able to sleep. My husband helped me put on the tens machine and I began breathing with the Freya app. My husband joined me in bed and did acupressure on me. Two harmonious hours when I was laying on my side with lots of pillows between my legs. The difference in how I now dealt with the surges and my first labor was incredible; I felt in control and breathed through them without fear. Positive affirmations + Siobhan’s soothing counting voice gave me so much strength. Thinking back at those two hours, I can hardly remember feeling any pain. My favourite affirmations were, "this is not painful, its powerful", and visualizing how my cervix was opening up while my muscles also pulled upwards.

11.39 pm - Alex called our midwife to say that I was in established labor (Freya app had told me so already at 9.30pm but we had ignored it since the first labor had lasted 24 hours); he was a bit reluctant, thinking we had a looong way to go. But when he returned to the room I felt almost immediately the need to push. On my side, instinctively lifting my right leg high up in the air, my body pushed during surges. After the water broke I started to have my bloody show. Things get a bit blurry here but I am relating to my best knowledge.

Now I had to poop and moved a few metres into the bathroom. After the poop sesh, I ended up on all fours on the bathroom floor. I had yelled at Alex to fill the birth pool, but he had wanted to wait for the midwife so that the water wouldn´t have cooled by the time I jumped in (clearly he had no idea how far along I was! ). Back in bed for a few surges, I took it upon myself to feel what was going on between my legs. I felt waters bulging, and underneath, a head! Back to the loo for some more pooping, I saw Alex was filling the pool in the slowest manner. Now I lost my cool, screamed and swore at him: "Fill faster!", and now he did! What happened next is not something I saw but was told later; Alex had resorted to our garden hose (instead of the hose that came with the pool). When he turned the tap to full speed, it rose like a snake, spraying the walls and the ceiling of the bedroom--even hitting a Japanese oil painting from 1910. I called Alex from the bathroom ( I could feel the head coming out). He said "Not now, I´m cleaning up in here!" . And at this time Balthasar (2.5 yrs) woke up and wanted to join us.

Knowing that now there wasn´t much time left while being on the cold bathroom floor, I decided to jump into the bathtub. I felt that if I was to do this without medical assistance, at least I needed a soft landing for the baby.

00-00.35 The water in our bathtub was from earlier that day and cold. I topped up with warm water and jumped in. On my side again, as I had in the bed earlier, during the first push I felt half of the head come out. It stayed that way until the next surge, and then the whole head popped out. In the 3rd surge I birthed the whole body and fished baby as quick as I could out of the water and put her on my chest. Baby screamed immediately, which was a relief. The bathroom was completely dark and I couldn’t see much. I felt between the babies legs, first I thought the umbilical cord was a penis, but then realised it was a girl! Now my husband ran into the bathroom (he had been waiting for the midwife in the entrance, let her into our complicated house door situation). He found me crying, relieved and overjoyed. This last part is more than I remember. I think I was in a bit of a shock.

Five minutes later two midwifes tip-toed into the bathroom with whispering voices. They helped me onto the bed and checked on me and Olga. After a while the midwife asked me to give a slight push. She said she could see the placenta in the opening of my vagina. Afterwards my husband cut the cord and I got one stitch in my perineum. A little later, our son rejoined the bed party and could see that everyone was doing well. He had been with our au-pair up until now. The midwife prepared a placenta smoothie for me. Alex had never used the blender before and managed to now spray the kitchen walls (!) with my placenta-- he didn’t quite know how to assemble the machine properly and one vital part had been missing.

The two things that really got me through this birth--along with my husband--was the Tens machine and the Freya app. Down breathing during the pushing stage was also hugely helpful.

If anyone had told me beforehand that this second birth would have been as smooth as it was, I would never have believed them! How can two births be so different!?

Lots of questions from friends wanting to know if I was scared during the birth without medical assistance; the answer is no, I wasn’t scared, not even once. I thank the PBC course and community for that. The only negative feeling I had at the pushing stage, was that I felt a bit angry that no-one was by my side. But I think I turned that anger into action! After reading the stories religiously on this page, the birthing process had become ingrained. I knew what the next step in my birth would be even before it happened--and recognized each stage from all the stories I had read.

Even though the birth didn’t turn out exactly as planned, I am hugely thankful for the experience. I wouldn’t however strive to have a “free birth” again. But, after giving birth on my own, I truly believe all women have the intuitive knowledge to do so. But It’s much easier to tap into this inherent knowledge when we educate ourselves. As my midwife Rike told me, you were your own best midwife!

I have a new-found trust in myself that I will always carry with me. And it has been a beautiful bonding experience for our little family. Thanks for reading.