Birth story - Elizabeth and baby Rowan

*Trigger warning* - contractions (not negative for me), high risk pregnancy due to ulcerative colitis

PREGNANCY:

I found out at around 5 weeks (early January 2022) that I was pregnant after realising my period was a few days late. I snuck out to Asda to buy some pregnancy tests and surprised my husband with a positive result later that night! We couldn’t believe we were actually pregnant and going to have a baby! We had started trying to conceive earlier in 2021 by tracking my cycles and using ovulation pee sticks to try to understand my cycles. There were a few months we were convinced we had done everything to conceive but hadn’t so we got a bit disappointed and took a couple months off tracking things for holidays then started trying again later in 2021.

We paid for a private scan around 8 weeks because I’m Canadian but living in the UK and my nephew had been born in Ottawa so we wanted to visit him around when I was 10 weeks pregnant. I wanted peace of mind that the pregnancy was okay and that I could fly safely - was amazing to see the yolk sac and tiny heartbeat even at 8 weeks!

I didn’t have any sickness during the first trimester and overall felt really good. I tried to keep active during my pregnancy by going for 1-3 walks a day with my two dogs. I also did pregnancy pilates and met a few women in my town who were expecting around the same time who have been so supportive during our pregnancies and births.

I was considered a high risk pregnancy because I was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis in 2018. Although I was in remission I was put under consultant led care and my community midwife ordered additional growth scans at 28, 32 and 36 weeks to make sure baby wasn’t too small which can happen with UC. All three growth scans showed baby was growing average or above on the charts so at 36 weeks I was put into midwife led care.

BIRTH PREFERENCES:

At my 36 week midwife appointment (which was actually at 37 weeks because of the midwife’s holidays) I asked whether I could consider a home birth instead of a birth in the birthing centre at the Royal Infirmary in Edinburgh. I really wanted to try for a water birth and my husband and I had been doing hypnobirthing since about 30 weeks. I was worried that a room might not be available at the birth centre and was really open to the idea of trying for a home birth even as a first time mum.

I received a call from the team leader of the Lothian home birth team who talked me through any concerns I had about a home birth and answered all my questions. We had an amazing 45 minute call where I was fully convinced that that’s what I wanted to aim for. Next I had to convince my husband who was worried about some of the stats on first time mums transferring to hospital - he wanted to make sure baby and I both had a safe option for giving birth. The home birth team leader came out to our house two days later to check our house was suitable for a home birth and to talk my husband through his concerns and questions. She left her copy of The Father’s Home Birth Handbook for him to read which he started the same day and was fully onboard for a home birth! He ordered us a birthing pool as since we were basically at 38 weeks there were no pools for hire that close to my due date. The pool arrived next day and the home birth equipment arrived 38+2 and I was officially put on call!

LABOUR & BIRTH:

Early Labour:

My due date came around and although I’d been losing a bit of my mucous plug, there were no other signs of anything happening. My husband and I got pizza that evening and sat at the harbour in our town in the sun and talked about how excited we were to meet our baby boy. The next day after lunch I start to feel some cramping and mild contractions. I got really excited but didn’t want my husband to worry at work so decided to tell him once he was done. However by the time he was home from work things had stopped so I decided to have an early night in case things ramped up overnight. We woke up on Thursday morning which was the day of my husband’s gran’s funeral. I woke up feeling cramping again so decided it was best if I didn’t go to the funeral and try to focus on oxytocin to help things along. We went for a walk with our dogs and my husband left for the funeral. I took paracetamol throughout the day, tried to keep busy and make sure I had my hospital bags packed. Again, that evening my cramping and contractions stopped. I knew that I needed as much sleep as possible so went to sleep again and kept thinking “my baby will come when my baby is ready” as I fell asleep. Friday morning I woke up with even stronger cramping than the two days before, more painful than any period pains I’d had before. We’d arranged for our dogs to be picked up that morning to go away while I gave birth and although I told my husband he should go to work, he called in to work to say he was starting his paternity leave. I was happy in a way that he was going to be with me all day and we could make sure we had everything ready last minute for our home birth thinking it must be happening any time now! I sat on the couch and put together a photo album of pictures of my dogs that I loved. Seeing some of these photos set me off crying and I just could not stop crying even though I wasn’t sad. My midwife had mentioned she had a good cry the day she gave birth so took this as a good sign! I decided to phone the home birth team to let them know I’d been having cramping and contractions for a couple days and thought I was in labour. I spoke to a lovely midwife who asked me how I was feeling, if my waters had gone, if I wanted someone to come to the house, etc. I said I didn’t think it was needed at that point but I would phone back when I thought I needed her and she said she’d let the rest of the team know I was in labour and to be ready to be called out! My husband and I went out for lunch and tried to decide on our baby’s name as we still hadn’t agreed on one. Again, that evening things stopped happening and this pattern of start/stop contractions continued over the next two days. We tried to keep busy and go for coffees or lunches to our favourite local places. I had my 41 week appointment with my midwife on Monday and decided I wanted to ask to be examined to see where things were at and to possibly ask for a sweep depending on how things were going. When my midwife examined me I was 2cm dilated, quite effaced and baby’s head was really low so I decided that maybe a sweep would help progress my labour as I had been having contractions and cramping for 5 days. She joked and said she was on call that night so she’d be seeing me later!

Active Labour:

On Tuesday, I showered and when I was drying off I started to get really upset about how everything had been happening. I started sobbing and couldn’t stop! My husband came to see if I was okay and I was saying “maybe my body can’t do it” and “it’s hard to stay positive” and “I feel so disconnected from baby”. Once I’d finally stopped I suggested we go for a walk and lunch to try to make myself feel happier. We walked through the woods to the beach and sat on a log in the sun looking out at the sea together. I started to reframe how everything was going and felt sooo much better for being outside and taking the time to do something nice. We had lunch at a favourite cafe and sat out in the sun again.

When we got home I said I should go for a nap and went to go pee beforehand. As I climbed the stairs and got upstairs into our bedroom, I could feel I was wet down there. I wondered if I hadn’t wiped properly when I went pee so I checked and it definitely wasn’t pee! My waters were starting to trickle out and I got excited! I decided I should still try to nap briefly before I phoned the homebirth team back to let them know I thought my waters were going. However as I lay down to try to fall asleep around 3:30pm, the contractions started up and I started to feel more and more uncomfortable. Eventually I called my husband upstairs to lay in bed with me and I said I should probably get up and put the TENS machine on for the first time. We got hooked up and my TENS had a feature which timed contractions. Within the next half hour it was saying my contractions were coming 3 in 10 and lasting for about 40-45 seconds. I told my husband I thought we should phone the midwives now so I did.

The same midwife from Friday phoned me back and spoke to me and she explained to keep turning the TENS machine up and that whenever I felt I really needed her she’d get out of bed and come along to us - I think she thought as I’m a first time mum that it could be hours before she was needed! Within another hour I checked my TENS timer again and my contractions were coming every 1-2 minutes and lasting for 1-2 minutes. It was getting more and more painful and I asked my husband to phone the midwife back and ask her to come out to us. I was a little worried still that I would waste her time but also wanted to make sure that I could make a better decision based on the pain I was experiencing. She arrived about an hour later and by that point I was standing in the bathroom with my head against the wall trying to breathe through the contractions and biting my hand when they were bad. The TENS machine was now on constantly but I could barely feel it. I asked her if she could get the gas and air set up immediately because I needed stronger pain relief and also wanted to be examined to see how dilated I was.

While she got set up my husband had been filling the birthing pool so it was ready. The midwife asked me to lay down on the couch and examined me - I’ll never forget her saying “Liz, I’m just trying to check for the cervix to see if there’s even any cervix there! You’re fully dilated to 10cm!” Suddenly I could feel my body trying to push and I said this to her and she said that was normal. She immediately got me the gas and air and made a call for a second midwife to come out asap! This was about 9:15pm now and the birthing pool was set up so I got into the water with the gas and air. It was the best feeling in the world and felt the pain was more manageable. I used up breathing through the contractions and my husband stroked my head and arms. We had our fairy lights and playlist with my favourite calming songs on and it was just such a beautiful atmosphere.

I spent the next 2 hours in the pool trying to push and make it through the contractions but was using more gas and air than they would have liked me to haha. They suggested I try to push without any gas and air which I did. I couldn’t feel like anything was really making progress when I pushed so eventually they asked me to get out of the water to examine where baby’s head was. As suspected, his head was tilted on a bit of an angle which probably explained the start/stop of my labour and why I was finding it difficult to push him out. They suggested I stay out of the pool for a bit and try squatting on each contraction to use gravity. While I did this my husband topped up the birthing pool with hot water so I could go back in if needed. I switched to all fours to see if that would help but nothing felt as comfortable as being in the water so I got back in as soon as the pool was ready. The midwives suggested I switch positions again which I did to help bring baby’s head down. The main midwife also asked if it would be helpful if she put her finger against my perineum to guide me to where I should be pushing and it definitely helped me feel a difference. They coached me through each contraction for a little while in how to breathe to push baby down and keep him there. However I was getting extremely tired and they were worried I’d been pushing for 3 hours already. The midwife suggested it might be best to give it another 30 minutes and then phone an ambulance for a transfer into hospital if baby hadn’t arrived yet. She said we could keep trying everything we needed to birth baby and she was confident baby would be here well before then! I said I was okay with going into hospital if that was the best thing for baby and I.

They started monitoring baby’s heartbeat after every contraction but as they put it “baby is so happy like he doesn’t even know he’s being born!” Half an hour passed so quickly and they told me that they thought it was now time to phone the ambulance. I agreed and they said I still had all the time until the ambulance got here to keep trying to birth baby and the midwives kept things so positive and encouraging despite me having to change plans. This encouragement really got me motivated even though I was tired and I was really trying to push baby out. I could feel baby’s head moving down and coming back up and just couldn’t keep him down. The midwives started packing things up ready to go and my husband was gathering all our bags to get them ready to go into hospital. Every time I started pushing through my contraction one of the midwives would come behind me and check the mirror to see how I was doing. They kept saying how they could see baby’s head and encouraging me to keep pushing on each contraction for as long as possible to get baby’s head down and keep it down there. Finally it happened and I managed to keep his head down and push his head out! Everyone started cheering and they said to wait for the next contraction to get his body out. Suddenly he was out and in the bottom of the pool and they told me to sit back and raise my baby through my legs! I lifted him to my chest and was in complete disbelief I had done it. They called the ambulance off immediately and kept saying how they knew I could do it!

We stayed in the pool for about 10 minutes with skin to skin and waited for the cord to go white for delayed cord clamping. My husband then cut the cord and they helped me out of the pool. The midwives suggested I have the injection to birth the placenta because of the long labour and pushing and I agreed immediately. I passed baby over to my husband to allow him to have some skin to skin while I got set up on the couch and dried off. They gave me the injection and then passed baby over to me for skin to skin. About 15 minutes later they were able to pull the placenta out and it felt like such a relief when it was out! They then said that they would clean me up and have a look to see if there was any tearing. They passed me the gas and air because they said it might be a bit stingy so I took a good few deep breaths in. However I didn’t even need the gas and air as I had no tearing!! They said there were two small labial grazes but that they weren’t bad and wouldn’t need stitches. I was so happy and they kept telling me how good of a job I’d done which in the moment makes everything so worth it!

Rowan and I stayed on the couch for an hour with my husband sitting beside us while the midwives wrote their notes and did their checks. They also brought me toast and tea and it was so good. Rowan got weighed and he was 9lbs 4oz which was a big surprise! The midwives left us around 4:30am and my husband and I sat on the couch for the next few hours falling in love with our son. All our family in Scotland and Canada were asleep and as things had been so start/stop and then ramped up so quickly we hadn’t actually told anyone we were in labour! FaceTiming our family in the morning and panning to Rowan made everyone so happy, it was the best surprise!