Birth story - Einir and baby Cai

I have two children; a girl and a boy 3 and a half years apart and the two births could not have been different.

Both pregnancies were midwife led. For my first birth I started having surges in the middle of the night the day before my due date but there was no pattern to them. The surges were strongest when I sat or tried to lay down. I called the hospital a couple of times and was told not to go in until my waters had gone and that I was only in the latent phase. At about 7.30am my waters broke and my husband drove me to the hospital. By this point it was rush hour and I was in so much pain sitting in the car for the 30mins journey. My husband dropped me off by the maternity ward entrance and went to park the car. I remember walking down the corridor on my own and my waters gushing with each surge. I was examined and told I had fully dilated but there was meconium in my waters so I was wheeled down to the labour ward to be monitored. It took 3 hours of pushing before my daughter was born. Knowing what I know now, my anxiety took over so the oxytocin went out the window and slowed everything down! As I had to be monitored I had to lay on a bed and was coached to push. I had an episiotomy to avoid a tear.

I had to stay in hospital for 3 nights and had a panic attack the day I left and couldn’t leave through the same entrance that I arrived at. It took me a while to get over the birth and I had to eventually admit that it left me traumatized.

Deciding to have a second baby was a big one for me. About 18 months after my daughter was born I had a debrief of the birth. This helped tremendously as I had blamed myself for a lot of what had happened. I also did a CBT based mindfulness course to help manage my anxiety.

A month into the first lockdown I discovered I was pregnant and I was over the moon and determined not to be fearful and anxious about the birth. I bought the Positive Birth Company book: Hypnobirthing; Practical ways to make your Birth Better, and read it countless times. I started following the PBC on Instagram to read other people’s positive birth stories. I also downloaded the Freya app and from 30 weeks would listen to the positive affirmations every day.

I had considered a home birth but this wasn’t possible due to having building work done on our house. So I chose to give birth at a hospital with a birthing center as the next best thing.

At 35 weeks I had a bloody show. I went into hospital to be monitored and I was told I was having mild tightenings but had not started dilating. The tightenings continued for 5 weeks but I barely felt them. On my estimated due date I was offered a sweep and used the BRAIN method and decided to have one. I had started dilating and the midwife was confident I wouldn’t be long. 3 days later I woke up at 7am and felt mild surges which quickly intensified. I started tracking them on the Freya app and within an hour it told me I was in established labour. I called the birthing center and by 8.30am I arrived there. One benefit to lockdown, there was no rush hour to contend with! As I was obviously in established labour, my husband was with me throughout. I continued using the Freya app to coach myself with the up breathing. The birth pool was being filled for me but I quickly felt I was transitioning and had to push. I went on all fours next to the pool and started down breathing with each surge. At 9.26am our beautiful boy was born and handed to me between my legs. We had delayed cord clamping and I delivered the placenta myself. I had a first degree tear that did not require stitches. We had at least 3 hours of skin to skin after. The midwife was amazing and just let me do my thing and gave us space and quality time after. We were discharged at 5.30pm the same day.

The way I now feel about the second birth is completely different to my first. Although on paper the first birth wasn’t horrendous, the way I processed it and felt about it left me very anxious. I am so grateful for being better prepared the second time around and would advocate hypnobirthing to every pregnant woman! Knowledge is power!