Birth story - Deborah and baby Cara

We had such a fantastic experience with our first birth that I was determined to repeat it & and I'm delighted to share it with you all now!

*Trigger warning* - some background on the previous pregnancy which ended in loss.

Sadly we experienced a missed miscarriage at 12 +4 weeks in Jan 2021 at our 12 week scan. As I was over 12 weeks and baby was a certain size, I had to go into hospital to deliver. We were given excellent care & the post-mortem revealed it was a little girl with Downs syndrome (trisomy 21) and her heart had simply stopped beating. We had her cremated and buried her little ashes under a tree at home. It was extremely traumatic & a complete shock but we were fortunate to be very well looked after & I took up the offer of specialist bereavement counselling for some time afterwards.

Despite the sadness, I was determined to try again as soon as possible and we were fortunate to fall pregnant again 4 months after my period stabilised. We had been advised to get some genetic testing done & thankfully it all came back clear. Pregnancy after loss was however a rollercoaster and I had complete scanxiety. Coupled with some lingering covid restrictions, it was a mentally tough pregnancy, however once I hit 20 weeks and my big scan went well, I finally began to relax a bit!

Physically I was grand, and tried to keep as active as possible but cleaning up after my toddler became impossible in the end!!!

As with my last pregnancy, my due date came and went. Despite assuming I would go earlier this time, baby was absolutely cosy and had no intention of making an appearance. I accepted a sweep at my 40 week scan out of pure nosiness as I was curious to know if I was dilated or not....I was fingertip and posterior which was a bit disappointing but we headed for brunch in my favourite place and I firmed my resolutions to do all the old wives tales to get myself going.

I got a vomiting bug a few days later which was grim. I experienced cramps and sickness which I assumed was early labour but it was not. I felt 100 times better after it passed and managed to enjoy my time off before my induction was booked for the 9th April.

Having had an induction before, I was really not scared at all, plus it also gave me an element of control regarding childcare for my toddler. We went in on the Saturday and I assumed I would get the pessary again which worked a treat, and I would be home on Sunday. How wrong I was!! I was offered the balloon as it was mechanical (not hormones) however it just didn't work for me, coupled with the fact that babys hand was presenting at her head (a big no ..who knew?!) Unfortunately she just wasn't far enough down my pelvis, despite being head down. I was told this was really dangerous as if my waters broke, her cord could come down and it would be an emergency section (definitely not the birth I had envisaged, especially with number 2)

Finally she moved her hand and after endless walks and bouncing on my ball, about 10 vaginal examinations and what felt like 100 staff handovers in the bay, I was allowed the pessary and it began to work its magic! (I would say that I had to advocate for myself quite strongly here, but I knew the pessary would work)

I contracted all Sunday afternoon/ evening using my up breathing and a few co codamol, and at around 5.30am Monday, I woke my husband from his chair (lols) and started to squeeze his hand. The contractions were getting stronger and more regular and my superstar midwife Rea did a vaginal examination (VE) and I was that magic 4cm- woohoo! Everyone knew my absolute desire to head down to home from home where the pools were, and so magically at around 6am ish we went to the calm and serene HFH. I actually cried when I got there. I was exhausted from very little sleep since Saturday and the staff were so friendly. I was also nostalgic about my first baby's birth and the whole place had such good memories for me. The team set me up with lights, a diffuser and all the gear. I was so so grateful to have made it there!

I was tired. My husband was tired and the amazing midwives knew this. We had some toast and tea (randomly I was able to eat in between contractions unlike last time) but my patience with this labour was wearing thin! Would she ever actually come out?!

Thankfully after another VE I was deemed to be 5cm and stretchy and they would try to break my waters to get me going. It took the Sister (aka magic fingers ) to get all my waters out while basically manually manoeuvring her head into position that really started things! The other midwives headed off to get me a yoghurt and some tea and Sister laughed and said 'I don't know where they are going, this baby is coming, if you feel pressure this is it' This was the adrenaline shot I needed to get me to the next stage!

She promptly topped up the bath with water and I jumped in at 10.44am. She wasn't wrong....at 11:14am and after some coached down breathing, Cara Valentina Collins made her appearance. The relief was instant! She was absolutely perfect.

I received the jab and shortly after assumed the squat position to get the placenta out. We did delayed cord clamping and my husband cut the cord. I was on cloud 9..that post birth high is so real. I had 2 small stitches tended to while Cara latched and the angels brought me tea and toast

I was missing our 3 year old so much that we did a 6 hour turnaround and we were home that evening after a stop at mcdonalds! (I inhaled it!!)

I can't tell you how much joy this little one has brought into our life & how grateful I am. During the time after our loss and while trying again, I searched for stories on Pbc of positive stories after miscarriage. They buoyed me immensely. If this is you reading my story, please know that it is possible and I wish you the same happiness that we have been blessed with.

Cara is now a chunky, bouncy almost 5 month old and life as a 4 is beautiful chaos!