Birth story - Debbie and baby Mabel

*Trigger Warning* - I’ll mention my pregnancy history as part of my overall birth story but not focus on it - includes a TFMR due to genetic abnormalities, miscarriage, cholestasis. Use of the word contractions as not negative to me.

I’m trying to keep my story focused on this journey but I’d be remiss if I didn’t credit my overall journey that brought me to where I am today.

We have a living son who is 3.5 and that pregnancy was relatively uneventful until I developed cholestasis around 34 weeks. If you’re not familiar, it’s a pregnancy condition affecting the mamma’s liver which then causes concern that bile isn’t filtering properly which can affect the baby. I realized I had it because I had insanely itchy hands and feet - the tell tale sign of cholestasis. We met with a fetal specialist weekly and I ended up delivering via midwife at 39 weeks. Labor lasted 14 hours, was back labor meaning the contractions were felt in the back, at one point went into back labor which was pretty painful and my pain relief was having a doula to aid me, a birthing tub, and massage. I was incredibly tense, looking back I was breathing like an imbecile but we got there. Again, the tension I was holding was palpable and definitely slowed down delivery.

My 2nd pregnancy made it to 22 weeks at which point we had a TFMR. Our baby had Joubert syndrome which was discovered during the 20 week anatomy scan. That loss is my life’s greatest sadness, darkest moment, yet also my most selfless moments and moments of finding my courage. I don’t wish it upon anyone. It also led us to understand that we carry a 25% likelihood of all pregnancies ending up with a non-life sustaining set of abnormalities. That was the icing on the already bleak cake.

3rd pregnancy was a miscarriage at 11 weeks. There isn’t much to say there. I miscarried at home, fully. Waiting for that to happen naturally was sad but I had greater sadness previously and I understood more about pregnancy at this point.

4th pregnancy - our 🌈 baby Mabel Aurora. She met us on the wings of the babies I couldn’t bring to light and I fully believe they protected Mabel and me all throughout pregnancy. We had a number of scares including hemorrhaging after the CVS test, a cardiac scare for Mabel (turned out to be nothing), initial diagnosis of cholestasis (miraculously it went away which is unheard of), and a slew of smaller scale things that about drove me crazy. But we made it through them all and honestly once you’ve lost a baby…it’s all scary until it isn’t.

When I tell you that this delivery was next level…it was like a different human delivered Mabel. I was in labor for 11 hours but here is how it played out.

10:30 contractions started. 15 min apart lasting 45-75 seconds. I was able to comfortably focus on up breathing while lying down until 3am, by myself on the living room couch.

3am moved to our bedroom because I didn’t feel like being alone. Let my husband know I was having contractions and read and did up breathing until 5am.

5am took a warm shower until 6am, literally an hour. Up breathing.

6am asked the midwife to come. Contractions were 5 min apart lasting a minute. They got there by 7am and I was 5-6cm dilated, 90% effaced.

By 7am the birthing tub was inflated and filled. Took forever! I was in there at around 7:30 and by I’d say 8:15 I was having urges to push. Pain was pretty severe but I focused on my down breathing, my husband and midwife team was stellar on affirmations, and my visualization of choice was the rising and lowering of a beach ride, sudsy water on the sand, a calm and sort of overcast day. That worked for me. My midwife team administered pressure on my hips during the push contractions and my breathing was admittedly more like a loud moan though I was paying attention to my breathing and correcting myself when I was holding breath or rushing breath. It was tough but having something to focus on made a difference.

I wanted to be alone for most of my laboring, which was wild. I was on my own from 10:30-6am just breathing like the course taught me. It allowed my husband to tend to our 3.5 year old and keep the house calm. I’m so thankful for this course! I understood the science of my body birthing, what my baby was equipped to do, just so much more knowledge which gave me confidence in my abilities.

The result was a positive birthing experience for both myself, my baby, my household and our family meeting each other.